tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post3986576375604382181..comments2024-03-28T01:09:15.056-07:00Comments on Horrorthon: HHD: Crime and PunishmentOctopunkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14948127593611773731noreply@blogger.comBlogger50125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-24323375332758921252010-03-31T21:10:45.714-07:002010-03-31T21:10:45.714-07:00Humor misfire
Crap. Franklin's on the $100
S...Humor misfire<br />Crap. Franklin's on the $100 <br />Stupid Abe Lincoln<br /><br />Whole crux of humor<br />A moot point when you fuck up<br />Research those punchlines<br /><br />(love that "rules are dumb" one, Julie!)HandsomeStanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05948000388685402496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-50996686974030974662010-03-31T21:01:49.361-07:002010-03-31T21:01:49.361-07:00Octo knows that I
Am annoyingly straight laced.
A ...Octo knows that I<br />Am annoyingly straight laced.<br />A rule follower.<br /><br />So I got nuthin'.<br />Nuthin' nuthin' nuthin', nope.<br />Not a criminal.<br /><br />Once I stole a top,<br />But it was by accident.<br />In my pocket. Oops.<br /><br />Occasionally,<br />I defraud the government,<br />Just at my job, though.<br /><br />In that case, the cash<br />Is for the school. Not myself.<br />I steal for others.<br /><br />And "defraud" makes it<br />Sound more exciting. It's not.<br />I do break rules, though.<br /><br />But the rules are dumb.<br />It's just a different version<br />Of doing good, see?<br /><br />I wish I could be<br />Self centered, greedy, and bad.<br />It would be more fun.<br /><br />My true evil is:<br />I will tell you what I think.<br />Again, too honest.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00184365519786868306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-68153768880235912262010-03-31T18:49:40.433-07:002010-03-31T18:49:40.433-07:00JSP got caught
By the mean Ben Franklin guy
What&#...JSP got caught<br />By the mean Ben Franklin guy<br />What's the story, bro?JPXhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03213973405902714780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-41799345854981732202010-03-31T18:31:17.197-07:002010-03-31T18:31:17.197-07:00What a thieving bunch
Horrorthon shoplifter hell
w...What a thieving bunch<br />Horrorthon shoplifter hell<br />with Ben Franklin's guyCatfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-29533502894093462252010-03-31T18:27:43.019-07:002010-03-31T18:27:43.019-07:00I did manage to
avoid the Barrington cops.
Hmmm. *...I did manage to<br />avoid the Barrington cops.<br />Hmmm. *knocking on wood*<br /><br />I thought it better<br />to leave that distinction to<br />Landshark and Octo.<br /><br />Both of whom spent time<br />in the Barrington lock-up.<br />Ha-Ha-Ha! Suckers.DKChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06564455767137872485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-53350356222481929262010-03-31T18:26:23.791-07:002010-03-31T18:26:23.791-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.DKChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06564455767137872485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-71371388824284199772010-03-31T18:24:56.380-07:002010-03-31T18:24:56.380-07:00Curse of the teenage shoplifter. Did I really
nee...Curse of the teenage shoplifter. Did I really<br />need eighteen lipsticks?<br /><br />Caught not once, but twice.<br />First - Barrington CVS.<br />Mortification!<br /><br />But lesson not learned.<br />Swansea Mall Caldor. Mall cop<br />earned his pay. Asshole.DKChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06564455767137872485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-62809607692176026862010-03-31T18:23:10.093-07:002010-03-31T18:23:10.093-07:00Rents weren't grounders.
Much worse to have t...Rents weren't grounders.<br />Much worse to have to endure <br />"The Lecture" from Burt.<br /><br />Poor younger brother,<br />got shitfaced with friends when <i>twelve</i>!<br />Rents became grounders.DKChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06564455767137872485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-66082873238581040172010-03-31T18:21:55.992-07:002010-03-31T18:21:55.992-07:00Sorry for the non-haiku form for a moment. I'm...Sorry for the non-haiku form for a moment. I'm cracking up over the Ben Franklin's guy. My first job was working there!! <br /><br />Anyhoots. On to haiku's!DKChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06564455767137872485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-879795440214541882010-03-31T18:17:46.856-07:002010-03-31T18:17:46.856-07:00That Ben Franklin guy
Heard he stole the kite &...That Ben Franklin guy<br />Heard he stole the kite & key<br />Zap! There's your payback<br /><br />That Ben Franklin guy<br />Get off my five dollar bill<br />Thieving colonistHandsomeStanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05948000388685402496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-62865977222080547052010-03-31T18:01:45.867-07:002010-03-31T18:01:45.867-07:00Thought Ben Franklin's guy
Bared a strong rese...Thought Ben Franklin's guy<br />Bared a strong resemblance to<br />host from "Beat the Clock"<br /><br />Wonder if he knew<br />he caused us lifelong trauma<br />I'm sure he would laughCatfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-62705999658999237362010-03-31T17:25:04.802-07:002010-03-31T17:25:04.802-07:00that ben franklin's guy
caused my first panic ...that ben franklin's guy<br />caused my first panic attack<br />(shoplifting lipgloss)AChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09439637162161958915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-34542108136504104812010-03-31T15:53:19.301-07:002010-03-31T15:53:19.301-07:00That Ben Franklin's guy
He missed my first eve...That Ben Franklin's guy<br />He missed my first ever theft<br />Plain pink eraserOctopunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14948127593611773731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-18365570749458192302010-03-31T15:51:32.954-07:002010-03-31T15:51:32.954-07:00That Ben Franklin's guy
End of the aisle, arms...That Ben Franklin's guy<br />End of the aisle, arms folded<br />Legs wide, knowing glareOctopunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14948127593611773731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-82314825701827196532010-03-31T15:38:34.144-07:002010-03-31T15:38:34.144-07:00That Ben Franklin's guy
made me be a better th...That Ben Franklin's guy<br />made me be a better thief<br />learned ninja stealth skillsCatfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-12543253552294671542010-03-31T15:26:19.201-07:002010-03-31T15:26:19.201-07:00That Ben Franklin's guy
Busted my thieving ass...That Ben Franklin's guy<br />Busted my thieving ass too<br />M.U.S.C.L.E. Man figuresJohnny Sweatpantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096734271846528993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-45121112988832270552010-03-31T15:11:06.812-07:002010-03-31T15:11:06.812-07:00Robocop query
Badass cyborg with a gun?
Or heartbr...Robocop query<br />Badass cyborg with a gun?<br />Or heartbroken man?Johnny Sweatpantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096734271846528993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-34620989006031888712010-03-31T14:53:06.448-07:002010-03-31T14:53:06.448-07:00That Ben Franklin dude
he hated us kids so much
he...That Ben Franklin dude<br />he hated us kids so much<br />he caught me stealing<br /><br />I was still little<br />took a bubble gum cigar<br />was a yellow one<br /><br />I was with my Dad<br />then the old guy called me out<br />Dad whooped my ass tooCatfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-59582954311449791022010-03-31T13:16:17.113-07:002010-03-31T13:16:17.113-07:00Ben Franklin's was good
For a five finger disc...Ben Franklin's was good<br />For a five finger discount<br />Great for Star Wars cards<br /><br />The only challenge<br />Was to avoid the old man<br />A real mean bastardJPXhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03213973405902714780noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-34673384159233032010-03-31T12:27:07.416-07:002010-03-31T12:27:07.416-07:00I chewed Barney out
for taking Jimmy Fund cash
fel...I chewed Barney out<br />for taking Jimmy Fund cash<br />felt morally wrong<br /><br />It's WHO you steal from<br />Okay to steal from Sumner<br />not from cancer kids<br /><br />Robbing Walmart's great<br />but don't rob the employees<br />that's just immoral <br /><br />Just like Robin Hood<br />Steal from rich, give to the poor<br />but I was the poorCatfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-5372379343619609252010-03-31T12:19:37.674-07:002010-03-31T12:19:37.674-07:00Jimmy Fund remorse
Cancer research money used
To b...Jimmy Fund remorse<br />Cancer research money used<br />To buy cigarettesJohnny Sweatpantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00096734271846528993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-50974001114848341712010-03-31T12:03:48.896-07:002010-03-31T12:03:48.896-07:0016 with large breasts
got me served at liquor stor...16 with large breasts<br />got me served at liquor stores<br />swapped cleavage for booze<br /><br />Stopped with booze in car<br />I panicked and flashed the cop<br />so he let me go<br /><br />Slammed into guardrail<br />booze in car, sirens wailing<br />drove off unnoticedCatfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-60558701242768929472010-03-31T11:54:29.940-07:002010-03-31T11:54:29.940-07:00As a drunken teen
I once mooned a cop and ran
good...As a drunken teen<br />I once mooned a cop and ran<br />good thing I was fast<br /><br />Barrington high school<br />never once payed for my lunch<br />stole pizza and fries<br /><br />Not that I was broke<br />spent my lunch money on weed<br />teen prioritiesCatfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-59949845420297795952010-03-31T11:49:11.173-07:002010-03-31T11:49:11.173-07:00"Tony & met I" should say "Tony..."Tony & met I" should say "Tony & I met"Catfreeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06215307648862899154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17244873.post-9529464183618326772010-03-31T11:48:47.317-07:002010-03-31T11:48:47.317-07:00Be on the lookout!
Super Delicious Boom Boom
Maste...Be on the lookout!<br />Super Delicious Boom Boom<br />Master criminalOctopunkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14948127593611773731noreply@blogger.com