Monday, October 08, 2012

Splinter

(2008) **** 1/2

Seth is a Biology PhD candidate and knows, in theory, what camping is. Polly is his live-in girlfriend who completes him in the Outdoor Survival department as they embark on a romantic anniversary roadtrip that goes horribly wrong in Splinter. Dennis and Lacey are two backwoods folks on the run from the law, into drugs and into each other -- who could ask for more?
I trust him to know his way around an O-Chem textbook, not around a shotgun!
The two couples meet in the most unfortunate of circumstances: one is taking the other hostage on a dark treacherous drive through the woods. They soon arrive at an empty gas station that the film opened with. We saw a young man get assaulted there by a strange creature so we know Seth, Polly, Dennis and Lacey are in for it.

The camera shots are a little bit shaky when people are about to be splintered (or focuses those who have been splintered), but the effects are disgusting, gut-wrenching, and grrreat! I'm thankful I finished my chicken burrito before watching this thing crawl about:
What is this, Addams Family 4?!??
The character types included in this movie are written in such a way that you expect them to get on your nerves, but there's so much splintering action going on that there's no time for annoyances or crappy dialogue. I'm also happy to report Splinter has the perfect running time for a gory flick, 82 minutes.
I can only watch this dude writhe around for so long.
In all honesty, though, I really dug this movie and didn't even consider any of the faults until I read JPX's review from 2009. Splinter made me squirm and cleared the room of housemates and guests so it gets my approval :-)

8 comments:

Octopunk said...

A crawling hand movie and nobody told me!?!

This only had a limited theatrical release, but I saw a trailer for it in the theater and I've always been intrigued. Mostly because the trailer starts out with the hostage situation (predicament, boring) and quickly moves on to monster situation (best ever situation).

Excellent review, I think I'm sold. And I'm not going to read the Brothers XPants reviews until I've seen it.

Pff! Those guys.

Catfreeek said...

Yes Octo, shame on me for forgetting to tell you about this film. It's listed as one of the top 20 monster flicks on some site I was reading a ways back.

Nice review Crystal, I really dug it too.

AC said...

wow, no thank you! but glad you got a quality watch in there.

AC said...

octo, there is some crawling hand action in aaah! zombies!! as well.

DCD said...

Sounds pretty entertaining! Nice one, Crystal!

Catfreeek said...

Wow AC exclamation points and a crawling hand in one film! Pure gold!

Octopunk said...

Took the words, Cat!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Octo I haven't even seen this, let alone reviewed it!

Cool review Crystal! I agree that 82 minutes is the perfect running time for a horror flick. It made me wonder what the longest horror movie ever made was.