Well I’m off to a rather dodgy start this year. (Am I allowed to say “dodgy” or does one have to be British to use that term?) In any case I was wholly unprepared for Horrorthon IX (Holy crap, 9th year!), and as punishment I scrambled at the last second and selected this oddity. James Hong directed and stars in this surprisingly-tolerable-for-such-a-bad horror movie.
Who is James Hong, you ask? Why he is that amiable actor you have seen in countless movies as the token Chinese guy, yet whose name you can never seem to recall. The reason he is in everything is because he can play any Chinese stereotype effortlessly. Judge for yourself, this guy can do it all:
James Hong also did voice-overs in Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956), and I'm pretty sure he was on Seinfeld. In case you are wondering, he is happily still alive today.
I refuse to go into further detail. To be frank, this movie is so baffling it could only have come from 1989. Everything about it is just plain wrong. It's not particularly scary, gross or funny. I enjoyed Hong as the villain but I strongly disliked almost everything else, especially protagonist Jeremy, who tried too hard to be charmingly awkward (picture a poor imitation of Christopher Reeve's Clark Kent). It is a bizarre and completely over the top film, and yet I still can't in good conscience recommend it even to stoners who love everything or so-bad-it's-good horror aficionados. On the plus side I'm on the board now and I think I just just decided on a theme for this year - the year 1989!