Daily Spider-Man! Since he can't put his costume on, Peter mentions his Spider Sense so he can at least wear the half-face. Puh-thetic.

Daily Spider-Man! That tentacle grabbing the hood looks like it's coming from Doc Ock's pants. We're all thinking it.

Daily Spider-Man! Ha! Even as an armchair superhero, Peter fails.

Daily Spider-Man! "I'll keep you updated on current events -- with my fist! Hmm, nope. Needs work."

Happy Birthday DCD! (Cough cough... it was two days ago)

So here's a picture of me reading my sister a Bazooka Joe comic, proving that I wasn't always such an irresponsible brother!  Right?

Anyway, our resident Horrorthonner celebrated her birthday Monday, and I know for a fact that she went shopping for new shoes.  New shoes woo!  Please join me in some slightly rewarmed birthday props for one of my favorite people ever.  Happy Birthday darlin'!

Daily Spider-Man Hump Day Catch-up! Peter gets pwned! (Or whatever the kids say nowadays)

"But Boss, it's so comfy in here without all those tentacles.  Let's just talk."

Here's what I love:  If Jameson and Doc Ock knew Spidey's secret identity, they couldn't come up with a more humiliating situation than this.

I don't think people who say "haw" use the word "pursuers."

Hulk To Crossover With Another Marvel Film?

From darkhorizons, Following Mark Ruffalo's recent dismissal of "Planet Hulk" movie talk, HitFix has posted a report talking about Bruce Banner/The Hulk's role in the upcoming "Avengers: Age of Ultron" and where Marvel could go with the character following the events of that film.

POTENTIAL MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD
The site says the "Planet Hulk" rumors should be dismissed, but those who are keen on the idea will likely be happy with what happens to Banner by the end of 'Ultron' though. Here's their description:

"Bruce Banner continues to play a key role in things in "Avengers: Age of Ultron", and when the final war with Ultron spills onto the battlefield and out of the virtual realm, he has a major part to play.

Unfortunately, that ends with him onboard a Quinjet on his way off the planet, with no way to immediately turn things around. He's going to have to ride out the trip. It's pre-programmed and he can't stop it."

The site then goes on to speculate that the Quinjet's trajectory will take it to wherever the "Guardians of the Galaxy" are, essentially indicating that the jolly green giant could end up in the potential sequel to James Gunn's space epic.

Writer Drew McWeeny adds: "I suspect we'll see some sequences that very much feel like they're part of Planet Hulk story, but the larger story will be about the Guardians finding a way to get Banner home, only to end up going with them." The result could not only involve the 'Guardians' in "Avengers 3" but the 'Guardians' sequel would play a key part in getting Thanos to serve as the villain in "Avengers 3".

Spidey's Always Had a Certain Pizzazz!

From toplessrobot, Pizzazz was a short-lived magazine created by Marvel Comics that ran for 16 issues in the late 1970s. What separated Pizzazz (or, Pizza Ass, if you prefer) from other kids rags of the era like Dynamite,Supermag and Bananas was an exclusive monthly Star Wars comic as well as plenty of shameless self-promotion for Marvel properties. (So many articles about the Hulk!). Today it is little more than a forgotten footnote in Marvel's long and storied history, albeit one that wears bellbottoms and is more than just a little obsessed with Shaun Cassidy. In the middle of the magazine's run, Marvel took to the airwaves for the above commercial from 1978 that features a confused Spider-Man. This video raises so many questions. Is this the same Spidey who appeared on The Electric Company? What other mags does our Friendly Neighbor Spider-Man subscribe to? What the hell is "Da Doo Ron Ron" about anyways? How often did Spidey hit up Harry Osborn's stash of Quaaludes in the 70s? There's really a lot to ponder here.

Bedtime Story From Fucking Bible Again

BEAVERTON, OR—Saying that he has to deal with this shit every single night, local 6-year-old Andrew Neel was exasperated to learn Thursday that the bedtime story his mother would be reading him was once again from the fucking Bible, sources confirmed. “Oh, please no, not another one of these,” Neel reportedly said to himself upon hearing his mother begin telling yet another tale about shepherds, adding that he’s listened to the account of that little shit Zacchaeus probably a hundred fucking times now and that he just wants to hear a regular goddamn bedtime story with a talking frog or a modern kid who maybe has some sort of magical adventure, even if it’s Amelia fucking Bedelia. “Dammit! It’s the same freaking thing every time: Someone gets into some trouble, but then he has faith in God and everything turns out okay. Christ, I’m just going to pretend to fall asleep to get this damn thing over with.” Neel added that he would likely be able to enjoy the Bible stories much more if his parents would just read him some of the awesome gory shit.

[via the onion]

'Snowpiercer' looks excellent!

From imdb, In a future where a failed global-warming experiment kills off all life on the planet except for a lucky few that boarded the Snowpiercer, a train that travels around the globe, where a class system evolves.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is apparently awesome

From cinemablend, Wherever you imagined the resurrected Planet of the Apes franchise might go following the downbeat conclusion of 2011’s surprise hit Rise of the Planet of the Apes, you still will not be prepared for the scope, intelligent vision and accomplishment (both technical and emotional) of the superior, intense, terrifying, exhilarating and altogether spectacular sequel, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. Though we are only two moves in to this reconfigured Apes franchise – and we have a long way to go before reaching the point of introduction that occurred way back in 1968 – its evident that there is ample life and innovative storytelling in the Apes series, which should pave the way for a bleak but creatively (and financially) bright future.

That’s an odd thing to say about a nearly 50-year-old film franchise that currently takes place in a post-apocalyptic future where human beings are the tattered members of a decaying minority, perched on the brink of a war we’d have no chance of winning. As you may recall,Rise of the Planet of the Apes concluded with the global spread of a simian virus, promising a gradual cleansing of our species from the planet. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes picks up the pieces 10 years after the events of Rise, and passes the baton to a brilliant filmmaker named Matt Reeves (Cloverfield, Let Me In), one of many smart decisions made during the production.

Reeves and his team of screenwriters (which include Rick Jaffa, Amanda Silver and Mark Bomback) welcome big political and social ideas into their science-fiction premise -- astounding since the director notoriously took the reigns on Dawn after Rise director Rupert Wyatt balked at the sequel’s hurried production schedule. The director wisely chooses to start his movie with a lengthy and nearly-wordless sequence in the ape community, where Caesar (Andy Serkis, mastering his motion-capture techniques) has established a peaceful existence. The apes communicate through sign language, reflecting on their new lives and reminiscing about the humans, who they assume died out after multiple, long winters.

If only that were the case. Dawn kicks into second gear when a band of exploring humans from nearby San Francisco stumble on Ape Town and cause harm to young Ash (Larramie Doc Shaw). Caesar, who has evolved his speech and now uses unbroken English, orders the humans to leave. But the deep rift has been established, and several members of the ape community – led by the aggressive Koba (Toby Kebbell) – want to retaliate while the powerful apes still hold the upper hand.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes is filled with incredibly powerful and distinct personalities – remarkable considering so many of its performances are digitally created. It helps, of course, when it is the geniuses at WETA who are working tirelessly behind the scenes to enhance the performances of amazing actors like Serkis, Kebbell, Terry Notary (Rocket), Judy Greer (Cornelia) and Nick Thurston (Blue Eyes) as the main apes in Reeves’ story. Make no mistake: The digital apes seen on screen are legitimate “actors” now, capable of connecting with us on emotional levels that are groundbreaking and jaw-dropping. Reeves helps the process along, adopting physical techniques seen in silent films and foreign efforts to establish alternate means of communication when straight dialogue isn’t possible. There are long passages of Dawn that need no words to convey the sentiment, and it’s astounding how far the mo-cap technology has advanced when it comes to creating tangible characters with which we easily can sympathize and empathize.

Dawn would be a triumph if it only focused on the apes, and how they are adjusting to life in an embryonic society. But Reeves places as much focus on the human survivors of the devastating virus, and populates that part of the cast with incredible talents (even as they play recognizable caricatures from a post-apocalyptic drama). Jason Clarke plays the level-headed but unsure leader Malcolm, a man who’d like to re-establish power and resources to his decimated headquarters but has no interest in engaging Caesar and his troops in physical combat. The fiery and distrustful Dreyfus (Gary Oldman) has other motives. His distrust of the simian rivals mirrors the contempt felt by Koba, and there are numerous connections Reeves wants his audience to make between the dilemmas facing both the ape and the human factions.

Didn’t this rebooted franchise start as a James Franco vehicle? How did we come so far, so fast?

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes bests its immediate predecessor on every level. If Rise was a chapter in the lengthy Apes story, Dawn is a complete book, with multiple messages and lessons about multi-cultural co-existence, political lessons about managing fears in precarious situations, and thrilling action set pieces that expand the narrative. Dawn boasts some of the finest and most intricate special effects that we have seen on screen all summer. (Look for an extended scene from Koba’s point of view atop a tank turret in the middle of a battle. It is a graceful, chaotic commentary on a long-brewing war, and is one of the most eye-poppingly beautiful accomplishments I’ve seen in a movie all year.)

Apes isn’t exactly the kind of light, fluffy, escapist entertainment Hollywood often programs for the dog days of summer. Critics frequently advise crowds to “turn off their brains” when it comes to conventional popcorn flicks. The opposite holds true for Dawn. This groundbreaking, challenging and immensely rewarding sequel offers audiences a veritable feast consisting of mature science-fiction themes, complex emotional performances (both human and digital), and riveting combat set pieces. Dawn both honors the history of the popular franchise while also setting the table for future chapters in the saga that, honestly, can’t get here soon enough.