Happy Labor Day!

BREAKING NEWS: Johnny Sweatpants Sets New Ms. Pacman High Score!!!

See the full story here.

You had me at...barf!

Great horrible movie finally comes out on DVD 9/11

It's also the only time I've ever seen Albert in a movie!

Goonies best left in the past

From cinemablend, Corey Feldman and Corey Haim were once famous. Now they aren’t, except for the reputation that came with the decline of their career. They’re trying to change that with their reality show, “The Two Coreys,” though, and the result is a resurgence of just about every franchise the boys were involved with.

Of course, the news surrounding Lost Boys 2 is making waves everywhere (along with continued ruminations surrounding who is and isn’t involved) but now talk is starting again about another big Corey project: The Goonies, which only involved Feldman, but if Lost Boys is any indication, he’s the one studios are more interested in anyway.

This isn’t the first rumor about a Goonies follow up, which Richard Donner hinted at in the DVD commentary on the first movie. There’s been talk about a script that followed the grown-up Goonies as their own kids ended up on an adventure. Apparently (and somehow I totally missed this), there has even been talk of a Goonies animated series.

Feldman is trying to put an end to the rumors, however, as he insists a second movie won’t happen. He tells MTV Movie Blog that he has no news on a sequel because he doesn’t believe there’s going to be one. ”I would like to say that there’s a great writer on it and it’s coming soon [but] I have nothing for you… For whatever reason, Warner Bros. doesn’t see it as a profitable venture. It’s a very sad, unfortunate story.”

Personally, I would find it interesting if Feldman was wrong – that there is still a sequel in the works but he’s just not involved with it. That would take some of the spring out of his egotistical step. Then again, I’d much rather find out there is no Goonie sequel in the works, and that the classic ‘80s kids movie was safe from being reduced by a cheap sequel. For that reason, I’m hoping Feldman is in the loop on this one, and completely right.

Pac Man Rug Is Cool

From geekology, Our Children's Gorilla, perhaps the worst named, and most expensive store for children, is selling this ultra sweet Pac Man rug. It measures about 7' x 10', and is allegedly one of only two in existence, made from 100% wool in beautiful Portugal. The price though, at $1,800 is, well, a lot of money for a video game themed rug. My bearskin rug didn't even cost that, I just had to wrestle that bastard to the ground and skin him with my teeth. Now he resides in front of the fireplace, where he's seen more than his fair share of toothless hookers I've picked up at the bus station.

Uh, yeah, we get it

From iwatchstuff, Hey did you know John Travolta and Kelly Preston are scientologists? Oh, I know, I hadn't heard about it either. They live their lives with such a quiet dignity, it's impossible to know what they're up too. Luckily they were more than happy to bring it up without being asked last night on the red carpet for "Death Sentence". OK! magazine says:

Kelly steps up for a joint interview and the couple begins preaching a bit about how their controversial religion actually helps their marriage. “We’re both Scientologists and we have similar beliefs in how to raise our kids,” Kelly says. “It keeps us constantly growing spiritually, happy and grounded. We know how to survive in life a whole lot better. It helps you on a daily basis. We apply religious philosophy everywhere that it’s applicable.” John pipes up. “We use the techniques all the time at work, home, with the kids,” he says. “It’s all tools for better survival – tools you need for every day life.”

They sure do know how to survive in life a whole lot better. When I think of mental and physical health, I think about Tom Cruise and John Travolta and Kirstie Alley. They've got the answers, my friends. I wish I was like them. Instead I'm over here carving “fatty” into my arm right now! God I'm so fat!

More on that Joust film

From iwatchstuff, Joust, the classic arcade game in which the vague, blocky forms of knights dueled atop something that resembled ostriches, is ready for a big screen treatment, reports GameDaily. This seems odd to me, considering the only plot I recall was the act of jousting. Producer Michael Cerenzie clarified:

Cerenzie calls the new script by Marc Gottlieb "Gladiator meets Mad Max." The film is set 25 years in the future and includes a Las Vegas suspended in mid-air.
"We've updated the game into a commercial, tent pole movie," said Cerenzie. "Marc has done an amazing job in creating a tantalizing and filmic world based on the original game."

Oh, well if it's going to be like "Gladiator meets Mad Max," it must be really good then. This surely can't fail. In fact, while you're at it, why not make more classic video games with no story into movies? As long as they're like two other good movies, it's a can't miss plan! Here are some ideas I have so far:

Galaxian - Arachnophobia meets Star Wars
Pac-Man - Labyrinth meets Ghost
Frogger - Death Race meets The Muppet Show
Asteroids - Armageddon meets Schindler's List (black & white)
Centipede - Anaconda meets a centipede.

One Missed Call remake trailer looks like a shadow of its former self

Check it out here, http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809733464/video/3905755/

A Dune over?

From cinemablend, Dune could soon be back on its way to theaters. No not as a remake, not exactly. Any potential future film would, hopefully ignore that David Lynch abortion from 1984 and instead be based on Frank Herbert’s amazing novel.

The guys over at Moviehole have picked up on the story from the DuneNovels.com Forum. Normally it’s a good idea to ignore just about anything said on a message board, but in this case it’s being said by the site’s admin and relative of the great Frank Herbert, a guy named Byron Merritt.

In January, Byron left a post hinting that a new movie might be in motion. He revealed that they were, “in the talking stages, trying to hammer out an agreeable contract.” At the time they were supposed to be looking at the film as a major, $100 million production.

Since January, it looks like things may be moving forward. In an update posted in May Byron revealed, “I've heard that "someone" at the studio wants Dune reallllly bad and has been a fan of the novel for "years." They're not saying who this is (and it might just be hype) but I'm holding out hope that whoever this might be is a big enough fan that he/she will do the book justice. Supposedly it's some director.” Then in August Byron dropped the news, “We're getting VERY close to a deal.”

The problem with Dune is that it’s hard to adapt. Much of the novel is internalized monologue and the story is incredibly complex, filled with multilayered political intrigue and mysticism. Lynch utterly butchered it. It’s since been redone as a Sci Fi Channel miniseries, but they never really had the budget or talent necessary to do Dune justice.

Dune could be an amazing movie, but it won’t be easy. According to Byron, Frank Herbert’s family won’t have any say in what happens with the property once they make the deal. “They want it all and they tend to get it,” he says. Without any gatekeepers the potential is there for another David Lynch to come wallowing in and ruin things, but as a Dune fan you have to hope that maybe Hollywood learned a few lessons from the original 80s screwup.

The really frustrating thing about Lynch’s original Dune is that it should have had everything going for it. I’m not just talking about amazing source material, the cast was incredible. Half the people in it have since become huge stars and brilliant actors. Brad Dourif, Virginia Madsen, Dean Stockwell and Patrick Stewart just to name a few. Alright he also had Sting as the movie’s villain, but that’s no excuse for the surrealist, droning, monstrosity David Lynch turned Dune into.

Whatever happens with a new version of Dune, it can’t possibly be worse than what Lynch did. The book is a masterpiece and deserves to be turned into a smart, adult, massive science fiction epic. It’s not Star Wars, it’s not supposed to be, so don’t expect a movie with lightsabers you can take your kids too. If some sort of watered down family movie is what they make, I may have to take back everything I said about Lynch. Done right though, Dune could be huge.

Horrible person is horrible even in death

From perezhilton, Recently deceased Leona Helmsey has left her bitch Trouble, a Maltese, a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.

Her great grandkids get nothing! And two of her grandchildren get nothing as well - for “reasons that are known to them,” she wrote.

The other two? Only $5 million each - so long as they visit their father’s grave site once each calendar year. Otherwise, she wrote, neither will get a penny!

No one’s as good to mommy as Trouble!

“I direct that when my dog, Trouble, dies, her remains shall be buried next to my remains in the Helmsley mausoleum,” Helmsley wrote in her will.

Hope that bitch barks in her ear for eternity!

Keira Knightley is cool

From WWTDD, Keira Knightley is calling out all the drunken whores in Hollywood who spend more time in rehab than on a movie set, more time posing for paparazzi than in acting class. Keira says:
"With acting the mystique is what's amazing. I love that it's magic, that's the whole point. The whole celebrity thing is not magic. They're real people proving they're shittier than everybody else because they don't even wear knickers. I'm not going to get blind drunk and then stumble out and fall over and puke up in front of people. I'm not saying I don't do that on my own in private, but I try not to."

If anyone wasn't just massively turned on by Keira Knightley saying she gets blind drunk and falls over and having her curse and call out people like Lindsay, feel free to write me an email and explain your side. No need to put little hearts and bluebirds at the top, cause the idea that you would like them there is very much assumed. The same applies to attached pictures of you in a pretty blue dress, you stud you.

Ugly man ruins Star Wars prop

From geekology, In one of the saddest turn of events I have read recently, some guy managed to secure a direct casting of Han Solo in carbonite from the original prop, and then had the face sawed off and replaced with a mold of his. This is in no way, shape, or form cool at all. What was this guy thinking? You have an iconic piece of one of the best movies of all time, and you go and deface it (literally). He probably has the Holy Grail chalice from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade too, but decided it wasn't cool enough and had to glue plastic rhinestones on it and write "Pimp Juice" on the side with puffy paint.

A closeup of the world's ugliest Star Wars fan along with the forever dreamy Harrison Ford original carbonite.

Lightsaber to be sent into space

From geekology, Since last week's very unfortunate Star Wars news (see above)I've been looking for something that will lift my spirits a bit. And well, I can't totally tell if this does or not, but it is pretty wack. According to NASA, they are sending the original lightsaber prop from Star Wars to outerspace aboard Discovery in October.

Chewbacca, the towering Wookiee best known from the film as Han Solo's co-pilot on the Millennium Falcon, will officially hand the lightsaber over to officials from Space Center Houston during a ceremony at the airport. Joining "Chewie" will be other characters from the six-part sci-fi classic, including Boba and Jango Fett and together they help push back the airplane on the tarmac.
When the shuttle arrives in Houston, the flight will be greeted by a troop of Stormtroopers and other Star Wars notables including the droid R2-D2, who will deliver the lightsaber to a waiting line of Hummers outside the baggage claim of the William P. Hobby Airport. Accompanied by a police escort, the soon-to-be real space artifact will be driven to Space Center Houston to be exhibited inside a vault that currently displays moon rocks.


That just doesn't even sound real. I'm pretty sure someone is pulling my leg here. I mean, the lightsaber was made in outerspace, why does it need to go again? I'm pretty sure this is a publicity stunt by NASA to get some attention. Like that time they tried to say they put men on the moon and it wasn't made of cheese and crackers. What nonsense.

So in the end, how did those summer movies rate?

Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

Excerpt from Cinemablend,

SG: I’ll come right out and say it: this movie was terrible. I hated it. To add insult to injury, the movie earned almost a billion dollars world-wide, the biggest booty of the summer (and probably the year). Of course, it didn’t come cheap. Disney blew $300 million to get the thing made and at the U.S. box office it earned only $307 million, just enough to cover the cost. Thanks to the rest of the world Disney still got to laugh their way to the bank. No doubt they’ll use some of it to make even more ridiculous changes to the classic amusement park ride that started it all. Whatever’s left over will go into making another two or three awful Pirates movies.

JT: It’s kind of amazing that it only made only $307 million. Granted, it’s an awful movie (one I dislike more with every passing day), but it made nearly $130 million just in its first week and people seemed to be obsessed with it in a way that’s normally reserved only for American Idol and Girls Gone Wild. I consider us lucky that people stopped seeing the damn thing when they did. Those were the worst pirates I’ve ever seen, but why bother with quality when you can just throw a bunch of CGI at people and end up making money.



See complete essay here, http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Summer-Box-Office-2007-The-Critics-Ultimatum-6204.html

Cool film alert

Director Zack Snyder is a hot commodity after the success of 300 earlier this year, and so Warner Brothers has moved to lock him up for the foreseeable future. Snyder is currently working on a movie adaptation of the classic comic Watchmen for them, but now he’s also inked a deal to direct a Ray Bradbury adaptation for the WB.

HR says the film will be based on a collection of unrelated short stories by Bradbury called The Illustrated Man. The stories are linked together by a storyteller whose tattoos come to life in order to tell each tale. In the process the stories are supposed to explore human nature.

Sounds like a nice idea for a Jim Henson special, but it’s hard to imagine how Snyder will turn that into an actual film. Or, will we get a bunch of little movies from him crammed in under the Illustrated Man heading? The stories involved include Mars being colonized by black people who want to institute segregation against incoming white settlers in The Other Foot; simple-minded Mexican villagers are unable to grasp the concept of nuclear war in The Highway; parents locked in an artificial nursery which simulates Africa in The Veldt; a man replaces himself with a robot to escape his unhappy marriage only to discover his wife has already done the same in Marionettes, Inc.; and a priest travels to Mars to convert Martians only to decide that since they lack corporeal form they don’t need redemption. The book contains 18 short stories in all and Snyder will have his pick.

Some of Illustrated’s stories sound potentially controversial, and though the book was written in the fifties by Bradbury, surprisingly relevant. But will audiences show up to see a random collection of movie shorts? If they’re directed by Zack Snyder and Warners plasters “from the director who brought you 300” all over the posters, maybe they will.

Ewan McGregor Regrets Making "Star Wars"

From worstpreviews, They are some of the highest-grossing movies of all time, but Ewan McGregor regrets appearing in "Star Wars," reports The Sun.

During a recent trip to a Scottish hospice, the father of a young patient suffering from an incurable condition, asked him about his best and worst film. In a very surprising answer, McGregor branded the sci-fi movies the worst work he has ever done.

Hamish Glasgow, whose three-year-old son Hamish suffers from rare Hoyeraal Hreidarsson, says: "Ewan was really down to earth. He was great with Cameron. He was really relaxed and you could tell he's a really good dad. He said the favorite movie he'd done was 'Trainspotting' and the one he liked least was 'Star Wars.'"

McGregor starred as Obi-Wan Kenobi in 1999's 'The Phantom Menace,' 2002's 'Attack Of The Clones' and 2005's 'Revenge Of The Sith.'

Tom Cruise now brainwashing his adopted children; still dumb

From WWTDD, Star Magazine, via Celebitchy, says that the two adopted children of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman have spent the summer at a camp outside Portland, a camp that critics say is designed to take kids while they're young and indoctrinate them into Scientology. Star says:

As Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their 15-month-old cutie Suri were snapped romping around Berlin in between his filming the World War II drama, Valkyrie, noticeably absent from these family outings were daughter Isabella, 14, and son Connor, 12. Nor were the two with mom Nicole Kidman, who is currently in Australia filming her own WWII epic. So where have the Cruise kids been all summer? Star has learned that the youngsters are in Oregon, at a camp 60 miles south of Portland run by the Church of Scientology! “The summer camp is part of the Scientology’s ‘get them while they’re young’ campaign,” a source who attended the camp tells Star. “While they will be enjoying horseback riding, swimming and all kinds of fun activities, some of their day is devoted to Scientology coursework.”

And by golly that's what camp is all about. It's all about e-meters and thetans and chanting to some comically misinformed counselors about a religion based on 76 million year old aliens trapped on Earth in Volcano prisons. About a religion that is totally real, and not a sham at all. Theologically speaking, you might as well pray to a shoe, or the Great Pumpkin, but that's hardly the point.

Studios Compete for Most Idiotic Title

From iwatchstuff, Though not formally announced as a competition, Dark Horse Indie will soon be competing head-to-head against the Icelandic Film Center for the most literal idiotic movie title. From Dark Horse comes War Monkeys, which is not meant as a political commentary about government and military "monkeys" mucking up the war, but is about actual military-trained monkeys attacking a janitor who is accidentally locked in with them.

Meanwhile, from the depths of Iceland comes The Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre, which is described as being something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre (even starring Leatherface) except for the parts about Texas and chainsaws being replaced with Reykajvik and whale watching, which implies to me that whale watching is somehow the primary massacre weapon.

It certainly sounds like no matter who wins this battle, the overall winner will be the human race.

Grace is Gone

From iwatchstuff,

My open letter to John Cusack, following viewing of Grace is Gone trailer:

Dear John,

I've just watched the trailer to your new drama, Grace is Gone, in which you play a father faced with dealing with the loss of a wife and delivering the news of her death to your daughters. Your intimate portrayal has already won you the accolades of critics, and I wouldn't be surprised if you see an Oscar nomination.

Please never take this kind of role again.

Since the mid-'80s, through films such as Better Off Dead..., Say Anything..., and the non-ellipsised High Fidelity, you have shown how the everyday, somewhat geeky man can still get the girl. When referring to the kind of guy one would like to be, the words "like a John Cusack role" have often been uttered by myself and others. You found the gray area between cool and geeky that we thrive for. This depressed dad role is really detracting from that ideal.

Don't get me wrong; I know you've taken many varied and challenging roles before, weaving delicately between genres, but they've never been such a convincing distraction from the John Cusack archetype until now. Seeing you in something like Con Air, I was still able to convince myself that it was not really John Cusack I was seeing, it's just John Cusack--or maybe even Lloyd Dobler himself--playing a role. Once the cameras were off, I was certain you were back to holding boomboxes over your head.

But with Grace is Gone, it appears you've created such a believable and depressing character that I'm forced, for once, to think maybe I don't want to be John Cusack. Maybe being John Cusack is a horribly morbid experience where your wife has died in Iraq. I hate that John Cusack.

In the future, please take exclusively romantic comedy roles, or at least portray your depressing characters less believably. Even if you have to break character, give us a wink to let us all know, "Hey, don't worry. It's just me, Lloyd Dobler, and I'll be right over with my Peter Gabriel tape."

See trailer here, http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809426672/video/3870405/

Castlevania script is a mess

Bloody-Disgusting learned this afternoon that Ian Jeffers is completely re-writing Castlevania for Rogue Pictures, which is now being helmed by Syvain White. White came on board after Paul W.S. Anderson dropped off the project to work on his remake of Death Race - until today it was unknown whether or not his script was being used. Jeffers wrote the adaptation for James Wan's Death Sentence, which hits theaters this Friday. Castlevania is based on the popular Nintendo video game from the '80s featuring Simon Belmont hunting down various monsters.

Final SAW IV poster

Lindsay doing drugs in rehab; blowing guys

From thesuperficial, Lindsay Lohan was reportedly caught taking drugs and having sex in rehab and has been warned she'll be thrown out if she doesn't stay clean. She was forced to take a drug test by the staff at Utah's Cirque Lodge rehab facility and the results came back positive. A source says:

"Lindsay got called into the director's office on August 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn't conform to the programme she'd have to leave."

According to reports, Lindsay was also said to have been caught having sex in a toilet stall with a male patient. She's also frequently late to meetings and refuses to do any chores or menial tasks such as washing up. Man, even in rehab this woman is unstoppable. She's like the Terminator, but instead of being programmed to kill she's been programmed to party. Earth could get hit by a meteor and Lindsay Lohan would be the only surviving creature, and instead of looking for other survivors or getting help, she'd just drink a beer and try to hump a corpse.

Superman takes on Braniac in Sequel?

According to Filmick the Superman sequel is going to be jam packed full of madness and the main villain is reportedly going to be none other then Braniac. They are saying that in the Superman Returns sequel Lex Luthor will team up with Braniac to bring destruction to Superman and of course Metropolis. They are also saying that the new film will incorporate Supermans son, who in the last film we discovered had super powers just like dad.

Sweet Zombie Diaries poster

From darkhorizons, We just got the new poster for Zombie Diaries a new indie zombie flick and simply put its AWESOME. In the early part of the 21st Century, an unknown virus began spreading among the populous. Within weeks it had engulfed the entire planet, from the smallest rural communities to the greatest cities. Upon the death of its host, the virus would reanimate the corpse until it was no longer able to support itself. Soon, the planet was infested with a new threat - the undead. So begins our journey into the dystopian world of The Zombie Diaries.

Check out the trailer here! http://www.terrorfeed.com/index.php?id=TheZombieDiaries_Trailer

Cool 'Sisters' poster

From our compadres at Bloody-Disgusting comes the new poster for the remake of Sisters the remake of a movie about two siamese twins who are tortured and tormented by their doctor and kept from one another. I like the art. Its simple and effective.

Here's the poster from the original film, which I thought was a confusing mess,

Wilson withdraws from 'Tropic Thunder'

By Lorena Blas, USA TODAY

Days after police responded to what was logged as a suicide attempt at his Santa Monica, Calif., home, Owen Wilson has dropped out of his next film project.
The actor, 38, who remained in the hospital Wednesday, was to start working on the DreamWorks comedy Tropic Thunder, with pal Ben Stiller, in a few weeks. But Wilson's hospitalization has meant putting his career on hold.

Even though Wilson has portrayed happy-go-lucky characters, friends acknowledge that the pressures of Hollywood have fostered his demons. "Oh, he has a dark side, definitely," producer friend Polly Platt tells People's next issue, on stands Friday.

"People can't understand the pressures," adds Platt, who worked on 1996's Bottle Rocket with Wilson. "Agents telling you to do this movie or that, people treating you differently."

Wilson has "a little John Belushi in him" and has explored "the hard stuff" in the past, People reports. It adds that Wilson entered rehab at least twice in the past 10 years: at Promises in Malibu, Calif., and at Hazelden in Minnesota.

Wilson's next screen appearance, The Darjeeling Limited, an adventure/comedy co-starring Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzman, will open as planned on Sept. 29, Fox Searchlight said in a statement Wednesday.

*Finally!

From famebizdaily, Yep, you read that right: Joust is going to be a movie. It's unknown if egg eating and pterodactyl fighting will be involved as yet, but producers Christine Peters and Michael Cerenzie are on board. Read on for the movie that should be "Gladiator meets Mad Max."

Newly formed Hollywood production company, CP Productions, is bringing a number of new and classic games to the big screen and comic books. In addition, the company will package its sci-fi, fantasy and horror movies with video games.

Hollywood Producers Christine Peters (Area 51, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days) and Michael Cerenzie (Blackout, Black Water Transit) created CP Productions to focus on the under-25 filmgoer. The first of many projects coming from the new production studio is a new imagining of Midway Games' classic Joust arcade game.

"Joust is an arcade game that's as old as Pac-Man and has global awareness," said Cerenzie. "We took one element of the game and the brand itself and built a whole new world around it for the film."

Cerenzie calls the new script by Marc Gottlieb "Gladiator meets Mad Max." The film is set 25 years in the future and includes a Las Vegas suspended in mid-air.

"We've updated the game into a commercial, tent pole movie," said Cerenzie. "Marc has done an amazing job in creating a tantalizing and filmic world based on the original game."

"This film is the type of action-packed story that appeals to all four quadrants of the movie-going public and we are excited to be in the Midway Games business once again," said Peters.

"You need these kids to come in on Friday with a film's opening today because they're texting their friends right after the movie and you no longer have until Sunday," said Cerenzie.

The plan is to launch the new Joust franchise with a graphic novel, which is being penned by Steven Elliot Altman of DC Comics and Dark Horse Comics, and will be based on Gottlieb's screenplay. The film has been given the fast track by CP Productions and should be wrapped by June 2008. Several A-list directors are already interested in helming this sci-fi/action project.

Midway Games has a first-look deal with CP Productions on all of its projects and the game maker is interested in launching a new game franchise based on this film, according to Cerenzie. With the number of projects in the works, it's also likely that CP Productions will work with additional game makers. Cerenzie said that 80 percent of the company's film projects will have some type of game component.

"We'll cap each film with a moderate budget and bring in awareness with games, graphic novels, and toys," said Peters. "If you look at what Transformers did this summer, it reached well beyond the P&A. Today's kids grew up with games and graphic novels and we have that type of fan base to tap into with these projects."

Paramount Pictures has a first-look deal with CP Productions on the theatrical side and Cerenzie expects that studio to work on two to three projects a year. CP Productions will also work with other Hollywood studios on its films.

"I did all of my films with independent financing, which is a model we're doing with this company," said Cerenzie. "We're doing a lot of co-financing deals with studios and in some cases we're just using them for distribution. We're bringing money to the table, plus the video games, which gets a greenlight much quicker in Hollywood."

It's this business model, coupled with the gaming component, which should make the game, film and graphic novel deals announced more than just a press release. These movies will be made, according to Peters. And these movies will allow the directors and creative people behind them to have control of their visions.

"We'll work to keep the creative team intact throughout the process," said Cerenzie. "We won't have eight writers and six executives trying to put their thumbprint on the film. The vision of the filmmakers will be kept pure."

*[JPX] In case you didn't know it, I was being sarcastic.

Odd casting alert

From darkhorizons, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is in negotiations to headline Walt Disney Pictures' modern re-imagining of the classic 1975 adventure movie "Escape to Witch Mountain."

The story follows a pair of siblings, endowed with paranormal powers, who go on the run from a diabolical group of men who wish to exploit their abilities.

Johnson will play a Las Vegas cab driver who is in for the ride of his life when he picks up the duo. Matt Lopez wrote the current 'Witch' draft, whilst Andy Fickman is on board to direct. A March 2008 start-of-filming is planned.

I'd place him on suicide watch

From darkhorizons, The return of Corey Haim in "The Lost Boys" sequel is looking rather unsure reports MTV News.

Haim's manager says problems arose over the weekend in regards to immigration problems Haim may have in traveling in and out of the country. Warner Bros. is currently working to rectify these issues.

Corey Feldman left for Vancouver last week to film his role with filming on the six-week shoot to wrap on September 24th. Playback Mag reports that "Lost Boys 2: The Tribe" original stars Jason Patric, Jamison Newlander, Haim and Feldman are all coming back in secondary roles.

Moviehole reports that Angus Sutherland, Kyle Cassie, Shaun Sipos and Merwin Mondesir will play the surfing vampires out to turn young siblings Tad Hilgenbrink and Autumn Reeser into vamps. P.J. Pesce is helming.

Star Trek rumors

[excerpt] from AICN, Okay, first thing that surprised me: I think Leonard Nimoy is sort of the star of the movie. I think a lot of this movie is about Spock. Nimoy-aged Spock, mind you.

How?

Okay... you know the scene in BACK TO THE FUTURE 2? Where Doc Brown explains alternate timelines? Well, this is sort of... ummm... TREK TO THE FUTURE, I guess you would call it...

Picture an incident that throws a group of Romulans back in time. Picture that group of Romulans figuring out where they are in the timeline, then deciding to take advantage of the accident to kill someone’s father, to erase them from the timeline before they exist, thereby changing all of the TREK universe as a result. Who would you erase? Whose erasure would leave the biggest hole in the TREK universe is the question you should be asking.

Who else, of course, but James T. Kirk?

If Spock were in a position to change that incident back, and then in a position to guard that timeline and make sure things happen the way they’re supposed to, it creates...

... well, what does it create? Because evidently the plan is to use this second timeline as a way of rebooting without erasing or ignoring canon. These new voyages of the ENTERPRISE, they’re taking place in whatever timeline starts with this story. Maybe this timeline features dramatic differences. Like... say... if Vulcan were to be blown up. If the Vulcans in the series were suddenly the last of their kind, alone in the universe, it would change who they are and maybe even redefine their strict rejection of emotion in favor of logic.

You can introduce these Universe2 versions of classic TREK events and characters, and you can play with the audience’s expectation. Things have changed. Some things play out the way you expect… some don’t. It’s basically the same solution Marvel Comics has in terms of publishing, the way they use their ULTIMATES line to reboot continuity.

As a friend said when I was talking to him about this tonight, “Wait... so you’re saying they’re not just doing a square one reboot that would simplify everything, but that they’re actually making it... more complicated?”

It would appear so. Not that I think TREK fans mind complicated. It’s certainly not the safest choice if this is, in fact, the direction he goes with the film.

JPX stays home sick

Thanks for keeping the blog fresh everyone!

Duh nuh duh duh, DUH -- Dee nee dee dee, DEE

Oh yeah! I totally meant to include this one, too. Click here.

I can't stop playing this

Yesterday evening, I was feeling nostalgic for Statetris. I did a google search for it and found a site called I-am-bored.com. It's essentially a list of links to various amusing articles, videos and simple web-based games.

Here's where I discovered Budapest Defenders, and blew my entire Tuesday night.

You're assigned the task of protecting the Hungarian revolutionary headquarters from an onslaught of Russian tanks, secret police vehicles and armored cars. For every vehicle destroyed, the CIA sends you more money. With the CIA cash, you can hire guys with firebombs, pistols, machine guns and sniper rifles, or you can use it to upgrade your units. You can also use the money on roadblocks, to channel traffic to where you want it, or to set up choke points where you can concentrate your firepower.

Not having anything pressing to do with myself, I spent a depressing amount of time playing this last night. When I woke up today, my first thought was, "I've got to play more of that fuckin game!"

There are two levels, Novice and Expert, both of which take about 11 minutes to get through.

Whatever you do, do not click this link. I'm serious. Stay away from it.

Mining the Deep Parts of Your Brain with YouTube

Somebody at Boing Boing.com posted a loooong collection of TV logos, most of which were unfamiliar to me. But just hearing the music for this one triggered an instant response: the last Dolly Madison or Kellogs commerical had just ended and a Charlie Brown special was about to happen. Click here and you'll know what I'm talking about.

This one might only be familiar to our those of us who grew up in New England.

And here's the epic version of the HBO Feature presentation intro. (Click here for the same thing with much better sound, except the first couple of seconds are clipped off.)

Pathologist: Doctor Killed Beethoven; In other news, Beethoven the dog is doing just fine

By GEORGE JAHN

VIENNA, Austria (AP) - Did someone kill Beethoven? A Viennese pathologist claims the composer's physician did - inadvertently overdosing him with lead in a case of a cure that went wrong.

Other researchers are not convinced, but there is no controversy about one fact: The master had been a very sick man years before his death in 1827.

Previous research determined that Beethoven had suffered from lead poisoning, first detecting toxic levels of the metal in his hair and then, two years ago, in bone fragments. Those findings strengthened the belief that lead poisoning may have contributed - and ultimately led - to his death at age 57.

But Viennese forensic expert Christian Reiter claims to know more after months of painstaking work applying CSI-like methods to strands of Beethoven's hair.

He says his analysis, published last week in the Beethoven Journal, shows that in the final months of the composer's life, lead concentrations in his body spiked every time he was treated by his doctor, Andreas Wawruch, for fluid inside the abdomen. Those lethal doses permeated Beethoven's ailing liver, ultimately killing him, Reiter told The Associated Press.

"His death was due to the treatments by Dr. Wawruch," said Reiter, head of the Department of Forensic Medicine at Vienna's Medical University. "Although you cannot blame Dr. Wawruch - how was he to know that Beethoven already had a serious liver ailment?"

Nobody did back then.

Only through an autopsy after the composer's death in the Austrian capital on March 26, 1827, were doctors able to establish that Beethoven suffered from cirrhosis of the liver as well as edemas of the abdomen. Reiter says that in attempts to ease the composer's suffering, Wawruch repeatedly punctured the abdominal cavity - and then sealed the wound with a lead-laced poultice.

Although lead's toxicity was known even then, the doses contained in a treatment balm "were not poisonous enough to kill someone if he would have been healthy," Reiter said. "But what Dr. Wawruch clearly did not know that his treatment was attacking an already sick liver, killing that organ."

Even before the edemas developed, Wawruch noted in his diary that he treated an outbreak of pneumonia months before Beethoven's death with salts containing lead, which aggravated what researchers believe was an existing case of lead poisoning.

But, said Reiter, it was the repeated doses of the lead-containing cream, administered by Wawruch in the last weeks of Beethoven's life, that did in the composer.

Analysis of several hair strands showed "several peaks where the concentration of lead rose pretty massively" on the four occasions between Dec. 5, 1826, and Feb. 27, 1827, when Beethoven himself documented that he had been treated by Wawruch for the edema, said Reiter. "Every time when his abdomen was punctured ... we have an increase of the concentration of lead in the hair."

Such claims intrigue others who have researched the issue.

"His data strongly suggests that Beethoven was subjected to significant lead exposures over the last 111 days of his life and that this lead may have been in the very medicines applied by his doctor," said Bill Walsh, who led the team at the U.S. Department of Energy's Argonne National Laboratory outside Chicago that found large amounts of lead in Beethoven's bone fragments. That research two years ago confirmed the cause of years of debilitating disease that likely led to his death - but did not tie his demise to Wawruch.

"I believe that Beethoven's death may have been caused by this application of lead-containing medicines to an already severely lead-poisoned man," Walsh said.

Still, he added, samples from hair analysis are not normally considered as reliable as from bone, which showed high levels of lead concentration over years, instead of months.

With hair, "you have the issue of contamination from outside material, shampoos, residues, weathering problems. The membranes on the outside of the hair tend to deteriorate," he said, suggesting more research is needed on the exact composition of the medications given Beethoven in his last months of his life.

As for what caused the poisoning even before Wawruch's treatments, some say it was the lead-laced wine Beethoven drank. Others speculate that as a young man he drank water with high concentrations of lead at a spa.

"We still don't know the ultimate cause," Reiter said. "But he was a very sick man - for years before his death."

The Beethoven Journal is published by the Ira F. Brilliant Center for Beethoven Studies at San Jose State University in California.

Is anyone else as sick of her as I am?

From perezhilton, Santa Angelina flew from New York to Syria on Monday. In Damascus, she visited a UNHCR registration center and spend hours talking to Iraqi refugees in their homes.

On Tuesday, the mother of four crossed over to Iraq to meet with 1,200 refugees camped out in a makeshift outpost at the border, because they are unable to leave the country.

“I have come to Syria and Iraq to help draw attention to the humanitarian crisis and to urge governments to increase their support for UNHCR and its partners,” Jolie said in a statement. “My sole purpose in both countries is to highlight the plight of those uprooted by the war in Iraq.”

Besides her activities for UNHCR, Jolie also met privately with American troops and other multi-national forces in the region.

Woo-hoo, November 27th!

Jessica Alba holds grudges forever

From thesuperficial, At the Teen Choice Awards, Jessica Alba let viewers know she’s still salty about an incident with a schoolyard crush. During her acceptance speech for the female hottie award (a staple of any good awards show) she told the audience:

“I would like to dedicate this award to a young man who has been on my mind for the last 19 years: Ross. Ross didn't love me. I was pigeon-toed, I had a sway back, I was slightly cross-eyed, buck-toothed, I sucked my thumb. Look at me now, Ross! Look at me now! [Ross] promised that if I kissed him he would choose me for baseball ... I was still chosen last. I never trusted men again.”

Whoever this Ross character is, I guarantee he’s sitting at home contemplating putting his nuts in a blender. He’ll weep and curse his childhood naivety - as he very well should. Right now he could be using Jessica’s luscious ass for a decorative end-table. But, no, Ross had to be a moron-sandwich and pick some other kid for his baseball team. Awesome. Thanks. Your sad little tale has made my genitals cry.

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are stupid rich

From collider,
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Trey Parker and Matt Stone have re-signed with Comedy Central for three additional seasons of “South Park” and that will take the show through 2011. The $75 million deal will give the duo a 50/50 split of ad revenue on digital platforms.

From the Reporter:
"’Three more years of 'South Park' will give us the opportunity to offend that many more people,’ Stone said. ‘And since Trey and I are in charge of the digital side of 'South Park,' we can offend people on their cell phones, game consoles and computers too.’”

The duo would also be in charge of the formation of a new digital animation studio launched with Comedy Central, which would participate in creating programming for the network.

It seems as though a lot of entertainment lawyers are turning their noses up at this offer. Many are saying that it is fairly common practice for a network to agree to split internet ad revenue, but a real precedent will be set when the networks agree to share television ad revenue.

Either way, this is big news for “South Park” fans, big news for Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and big news for internet ad-revenue sharing.

Disney And Ebert Declare Thumb War

From cinemablend, Some things just keep going on way longer than they need to. This is because people are too lazy to get away from what they know, even if it isn’t what they know anymore. Although Gene Siskel died about 10 years ago and Roger Ebert hasn’t been seen on television in over a year (due to thyroid cancer), their movie review fest “At the Movies” soldiers on. I can’t imagine why, since it stopped being interesting or significant in the late 1990’s and now you get Siskel replacement Richard Roeper and whatever critic happens to be sober the day they shoot the show (although not our own Josh Tyler…I’m sure there is no connection between the sobriety requirement and his non-appearances.)

The one thing you do get with “At the Movies” is the “thumbs up” or “thumbs down” final grade. Of course, someone has to own that thumb position; it can’t just be out there for anyone to use. So Ebert and Siskel’s estate own it. That’s right, someone owns thumbs up, at least in movie review context. And now, according to the Hollywood Reporter, there is a mini-battle going on about that famous digit. Disney-ABC Domestic Television, who distribute the limping movie review show, have stopped using the thumbs up/down while they are in contract negotiations on Ebert’s contract. The reason why is a bit murky.

Disney released a statement saying that Ebert wouldn’t allow it until his new contract was signed. But Ebert says he gave approval to use the thumb while contract negotiations were ongoing. Is Disney planning on phasing the obviously-never-coming-back Ebert out and moving on with Roeper and a new permanent co-host? Those are some questions to ponder while I see if I can trademark the three star rating.