Remember Gizmo's reaction when the malfunctioning water fountain sprayed his head near the beginning of Gremlins 2? I've been doing that all month. Every five minutes. It's become a coping device. Like, I'll be at work, find out that a thousand bucks worth of tape has gone faulty, and instead of yelling…I do the Gizmo water fountain reaction. If I wake up in the morning and notice that my left eyelid has mysteriously swollen up to twice its normal size in an apparent effort to make me face the world as a monster, I don't cry…I just do the Gizmo water fountain reaction. These are all true stories, and I suggest that everyone give it a shot. Dunno where I'd be without the Gizmo water fountain reaction. Likely in a box.
I can't wait for August to be done with, because I've decided that the month is cursed.
And besides, we all know what September brings…the all-too-early and yet all-too-inviting start to the Halloween season. I've been trying to look the other way as every store in town starts filling their aisles, because I don't want to waste the glory of a New-For-2007 Halloween item when it's 100 fucking degrees outside. Shit like that calls for sweater weather, not sweat weather.
Still, try as I might, even with a swollen lid, I can't pry my eyes away from the holy unholy sights of things orange and black. Especially when they're edible and light-shining:
As a premise, "Lightning Pumpkins" is nothing new. I've seen the same gimmick on other candy sets, usually ones involving gummy bugs. The frightening fun involves picking up little pumpkin candies with a special tong featuring an inbuilt red light, which is powerful enough to beam through the gummies and create some kind of glowing alien pumpkin effect.
The packaging is extra special. It seems to have stolen a bunch of Halloween clipart from one of the few still-running 1998 Geocities sites that offered such things, with repeating images of the same angry ghost and the cutest little pumpkin patch ever put to plastic.
Admittedly, grabbing pumpkin candies with light-up tweezers gets old after a while, but it fulfills its promise of $1.39's worth of entertainment value. What's even more fun is using the tweezers on other, random items to see which are able to get a full shine-through.
Anyways, after a couple of days in the office next week, it looks like I'll be in the clear for a while. Just in time to scour Target for the latest bat-shaped snacks. Stay tuned, and happy SNT…if you're here.
1 comment:
The bummer is that I have no memory of Gizmo's reaction to the water fountain thing. Puts a big dent in the story.
The most useless candy gimmick I've seen was the lollipop holder that spun the pop in your mouth when you flicked a switch. I guess you could put other lollipops in there, but who did? Meaning they made a battery-operated piece of petroleum product for the purpose of consuming one lollipop. The aliens are laughing their asses off at us.
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