I’m most definitely a fan of the new free-form verse/limerick/prose/haiku/song parody direction. I think it’s given everyone a number of fantastic new creative outlets depending on time & inclination, and I have been laughing hysterically each week so far.
Having said that, you can all forget about it. For just this week, we’re back to haikus.
During my extensive* research, I discovered that in English, haikus are generally accepted as adhering to the 5-7-5 syllabic format, whereas in Japanese they can pretty much be whatever the fuck you want, syllabically. The important bits in a traditional Japanese haiku involve “kigo” (a seasonal reference, where even random stuff like mentioning a frog means “springtime”), as well as “kireji” (a cutting word or phrase, usually appearing in the last line, which contrasts with the tone set by the first two lines which either juxtaposes or enhances what you were getting at with the first couple of bits). These two thematic elements are what should comprise your entries this week.
As 2-year veterans of haiku creation, we’ve all been doing this for some time, I just thought it would be interesting to address the real deal as it pertains to haiku as a poetic form. So, for this week the haiku as a poem is back, big time, and the 5-7-5 syllabic structure is off (I know this contradicts the title, but whatever), and the concentration is on the actual poetry of saying what you need to say in three independent lines, with no rhymes, and a shitload of limes.
(I just wanted that last sentence to rhyme. No limes, seriously.)
The goal here is to avoid the seductive trap of the “Sentence That Happens To Be 17 Syllables Arranged In Haiku Form.”
I went to the store
And bought a loaf of wheat bread
And paid two dollars
That don't fly.
What does fly is something like:
The spring rain of Kirk
Exhilarating, awesome
Spock’s winter logic looms
Or something like:
The rainbow
I have now tasted an entire bowl
Fuck Skittles
Or:
In a meat grinder cooked
Dylan you son of a bitch
Knock knock stick around
Those three were a preview of both where we’re going this week and what can be done with the syllables. Stick with the haiku 3-line structure, but don’t be bound by syllable count. Be Japanese. Make the poetry matter. Shoehorn, cram & crowbar your artistry into elegant, pointed phrases that complement and reward each other. Use the seasonal thing and the cutting phrase as additional limiting, and freeing, parameters.
So for the actual topics: we’ve already hit the 2 critical ones that needed revisiting (Star Wars and Video Games), so here’s a 3-fold Greatest Hits Clip Show of the topics that I found to be the most absolutest funnest for me, and the ones that I know people had more to say about:
Star Trek
Candy
80s Movies
As the Simpsons once said, “Sorry for the clip show,” but I think we need to revisit this stuff. And as the old saying goes, Let your syllables run wild and free. Stick to 5-7-5 if it’s a comfort zone. And NOTHING’S illegal – a well-tuned limerick or short story or song parody will be just fine, and judged accordingly. This season is Make Up The Rules As You Go Along Season. I just think with the multiple topics, we can all benefit from more stringent parameters. Happy Rhymes With Orange Haiku Hump Song Parody Limerick And/Or Prose Day, team! (Or RWOHHDSPLAOPD, for those needing a new Internet acronym.)
* "research" = going to the Wikipedia “Haiku” page and skimming it for like 2 minutes
30 comments:
cycled home on a clear spring day
a rustling in my pocket betrayed
the m&m's i'd shoplifted
Little yellow birdies
Horrible disguised marshmallows
Projectile vomit
Soaring tree to tree
All of a sudden you’re dead
Fuck Ninja Gaiden
Fake blood or is it?
Alamo lacks a basement
Buxtons are not thieves
Cook is dead tired
Agreed to kill Sully last
Let off steam, Bennett
Short Round conundrum
I love him yet I hate him
Depends on the mood
I think he should die
“Okey dokey, Docka Jones!”
He’s adorable
signs of spring, outer space
horta eggs, a borgia plant
maybe a green bitch
I want to do that
Crash parade and feel crowd's love
Argh! Tased in the nuts
Dress quick in red shirt
Beam me down, Kirk will dig me
Argh! Phased in the nuts
Oh yes chocolate
Eat it up, feel the fake love
Dammit, it's got nuts!
Big brained aliens
bursting with superior intellect
no match for Kirk
One of Kirk's recurring pains
A computer with devilish aims
But Kirk would confuse it
The machine would then lose it
And spatter the room with its brains
What is in a name?
Brent Spiner aged horribly
Does this make me doomed?
Mechanical spiders
The bullets will follow you
The Demon can act
Xanadu a vision in a dream
a legacy of Kublai Kahn
or a crap 80's movie
molly ringwald confusion
famous, but lacks depth
in character and cleavage
Skittles photo censored?
What's wrong with looking up a girl's crotch?
Blogger Nazis
Autumn leaves drop
Death in the air
Horrorthon missing
Comment number 19
Pathetic when I have to do it
I wish I had friends
Predator Press Play
Oven set to 500 Fahrenheit
Stick head in
brilliant star trek remake
captured in modern sophistication
each crewman's timely ascension
Christmas:
It's February
Who's thinkis about Christmas now?
Tragic old ladies
Abandoned Houses:
Condoms, graffiti
Scary needles on the floor
Shouldn't have come here
Fanboys:
A fat man in tights
He calls himself "Boy Wonder"
Just don't make eye contact
Ninjas:
Why fuck with ninjas?
All they know is how to kill
It's a losing cause
Super Friends:
Economy's bad
We need to cut the budget
Aquaman, you're fired
remove the almond roca from my sight
i will consume all of it
i will demolish a whole box right now
Enterprise rec room
Try some 3D chess! And then...
No, there's nothing else
British chocolate
Goddammit it's just better
That explains the teeth
Blood sausage, kidneys
I guess they make up for it
Choco frothy yum
Zombies:
Run on pure instinct
The mall is where I shall head
Next stop: The Toy Vault
Sitcoms:
The age old question
Your decision speaks volumes
Ginger or Maryanne?
Saturday Morning Cartoons:
Big budget shit film
The Smurfs sucked to begin with
Where does that leave Snorks?
What Ol' Jack Burton says at a time like this
On a dark and stormy night
nothing terribly bright, i tell you
if you let go of your snobbery
your illusory sense of sexual decorum
ginger had it going on - admit it
Andre the Giant
The eighth wonder of the world
*gets too choked up to complete haiku*
Candy:
Ninja turtle pies
Do you still even exist?
Only in my dreams
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