Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Octopunk's Best Of Horrorthon 2013

Yo yo yo it's Best Ofs time!

All-Around Favorite Movie: It's a tie!  I couldn't decide between Attack the Block and Sinister

Best Hidden Gem Movie:  Burning Bright, for making a good flick out of a nutty idea.  I mean, apply Snakes on a Plane simplicity and it's called Tiger in the House.  What's next?  The Floor's Hot Lava?

Worst Movie: I saw a couple turkeys but The Exorcism of Emily Rose is the movie that honked me off the most. I can't stand it when stories that purport to take on religion wuss out with this tone that says "After all, who are we to question?"  I'm looking at you, Dan Brown.

Best So Bad It's Good Movie: Do you even have to ask?

Most Disturbing Movie: Sinister

Goriest Movie:  World War Z, hands down.

Ha ha, just kidding.  This goes to Mirrors, courtesy of Amy Smart's jaw removal.  It won't make Most Memorable Death like I thought it might, but I didn't screen a lot of gore this year.

Scariest Movie:  Sinister

Best Looking Monster: I was thinking maybe the zombies from World War Z but then I remembered the Alien Wolf Gorilla Motherfuckers from Attack the Block.

Hottest Hottie: Actress Letícia Román in The Girl Who Knew Too Much.

Most Memorable Death: I was thinking of this fool from Tasmanian Devils  but then I remembered a better one from Sinister.  I can't go into details lest I spoil things but for those who have seen it, it's on the last of the five home movies Ethan Hawke watches.

Most Avoidable Death: The first one that springs to mind is that one guy the Godmonster took down, but instead I'm giving this to William "Greates American Hero" Katt's evil reflection going after his eye socket with a pizza cutter in Mirrors 2.  I can't tell you how that dire situation would have gone because the death is actually avoided.


JPX said...

Terrific roundup, Octo! I had forgotten that you had seen some of those. I'm so glad you finally checked out Burning Bright! Next year PLEASE start your Thon with Macabre, which is the best horror movie I've seen in years.

I liked Emily Rose more than you although I totally agree with your complaint. From a psychology perspective I think it's interesting that Emily was clearly psychotic and would have benefited from an anti-psychotic medication. No more demons. Problem solved. Thank you.

I thought I had reviewed Sinister but apparently I watched it off-season. I loved that film as well!

Your Godmonster review stands as the one to beat!

AC said...

agreed, the godmonster review is a total classic. any mention of godmonster makes me happy. can't wait to see it.

Crystal Math said...

Great roundup! Entertaining! Now I must see "Attack the Block" next year