Classroom 6

(2015) ZERO stars

Aspiring reporter, Annie, convinces a local college to lock her in the school with a film team overnight in order to document purported otherworldly activity that occurred in classroom #6. The film captures what happened to them via found footage.

I’m a sucker for found-footage, even generic found-footage, but not SLOW, generic found-footage! Including the credits the film is 78 minutes long (I looked it up) and absolutely NOTHING happens until the 50 minute mark (SPOILER: a school desk chair moves a few feet on its own). The brief climax has a money shot or two but this yawn-fest is not worth a moment of your time. Skip it.

Flu

 (2013)***1/2

A man contracts a deadly mystery flu while smuggling in illegal immigrants. He is shown coughing and spreading the germs throughout Seoul and soon people everywhere are sick and dying. The government orders a complete shutdown while specialists scramble to generate a vaccine. The story mainly centers around the young adorable daughter of one of the infectious disease specialists who contracts the flu while helping a homeless man. She winds up separated from her mother and shoved into the general population quarantine where the sick are poorly treated and herded like cattle to die in mass graves. It becomes a race against time for her mother to not only find a cure but to find her daughter before it is too late.

I debated long and hard before deciding to watch this Korean film about a massive deadly flu epidemic. I am a bit of a germaphobe so watching these types of films make me extremely uncomfortable. The film is a little too long and that was the only real problem I had with it. The slow motion scenes of people coughing as microscopic germs landed in their coffee or on their food invoked such paranoia in me, I swear I nearly shut the film off twice because it was freaking me out. I stayed tuned in because I had to know the outcome of the little girl, she was the sweetest little thing and it broke my heart when she became ill. Overall, this is a well done, tragic and thought provoking film just don't watch it when you're sick.

The first 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' TV spot features more Han Solo and Millennium Falcon!

The Gift

 (2015)****

Simon and Robyn, a young married couple move to an LA suburb for work related reasons. Soon after they have a chance encounter with Gordo, a former classmate of Simon's who he claims not to remember. Gordo, strange but exceedingly nice, wedges himself into their lives. Robyn begins feeling uncomfortable with Gordo's pop in visits and thinks there is more to the story. She begins digging into her husband's past only to find he may not be quite the man she thought he was, he was and still is pretty much a colossal jerk.

This is a slow building intense film. I can imagine former teen tormentors squirming in their seats as Gordo's plan for revenge slowly unfolds. It's masterfully done and the final reveal is shockingly harsh. Jason Bateman who generally plays a nice guy in films does a great job channeling his inner asshole, he evokes sympathy for Gordo which wasn't an easy task since Gordo's weirdness made me feel uncomfortable every time he was on screen. In the quest for a good PITA (pipe in the ass) ole Gordo sticks it in and breaks it off leaving the viewer wrestling with a conflicting range of emotions feeling both sympathy and anger toward both characters.

Some Kind Of Hate

 (2015)***

Lincoln is a victim of perpetual bullying so he is is sent to a school for troubled teens where he is meant to deal with his issues. Instead he is singled out and bullied there as well and in a burst of rage accidentally summons the vengeful spirit Moira, a former student who was bullied until she committed suicide. Moira vows to avenge Lincoln and make his tormentors pay but as the bodies begin to pile up Lincoln feels regret. Unfortunately Moira is on a roll and there's no stopping her until every last one of them is dead.

I liked the whole concept of this film and the form in which the ghost maims and kills is also unique. Moira hurts herself and whatever she does to herself falls onto her victim. In other words if she cuts her throat the slash appears on her victim which makes it pretty difficult to hurt her. The film fell short for me in the acting, there was just something very vanilla about it. Entertaining but not one of my favorites.

Hotel Transylvania 2

(2015)****

Sequel to the first Hotel Transylvania, which I highly recommend! I'm a big fan of cartoon movies, so these fit me perfectly!

Spoilers*** if you haven't seen the first one..

Mavis and Johnny gets married and has a boo-tiful baby boy Dennis! But Grampa Dracula is worried that Dennis hasn't developed his vampy fangs yet.

 After convincing Mavis and Johnny to go on a road trip, Dracula babysits Dennis with Mummy, Frankenstein, Werewolf and the Invisible man, taking Dennis on a trip to show him what a real monster is supposed to do.

The monsters babysitting situation is filled with shenanigans! Many things go wrong, but Drac is determined to frighten the fangs out of Dennis! This sequel is great fun for the whole family!

Hotel Transylvania

(2012) ****1/2

Though its a kids movie, it might qualify for Horrorthon?
I love this movie! It is so entertaining for every age! Here is the trailer...Hotel Transylvania
Classic monsters go to a hotel ran by Dracula, to get away from humans. Until one day a human shows up! Voiced by Adam Sandler, Dracula has to protect his daughter Mavis since her mom was killed by the human kind when she was a baby. Other characters are voiced by big actors such as Selena Gomez(Mavis), Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Steve Buscemi, David Spade, Fran Drescher, Ceelo Green, Jon Lovitz, Snoop Dog and many more.
My favorite features of this movie is the scream cheese(cream cheese)Scream cheese and the cute little sad bat face

International 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' trailer is loaded with new footage!

Lost After Dark

(2015) **

It is 1984 and during a school dance 8 high school friends commandeer a school bus to go to a family friend’s cabin in the woods where they intend to drink and screw. On route the bus breaks down in the middle of the woods and they are forced to seek refuge in an old farm house that has a sordid history. We soon learn that the house used to belong to a family of cannibals who were gunned down by the police. Unbeknownst to the teens, one of the cannibals survived and he’s pissed that they are trespassing. Oh, and he’s hungry.



Lost After Dark is set in the 80s as an homage to the 80s slasher genre. It contains all the goofiness that the 80s had to offer without the fun. I am happy with this recent trend of setting movies in that era (e.g. House of the Devil, We Are Still Here, etc.) but Lost in the Dark gets it a bit too on the nose. Rather than homage the film plays out like every cheap slasher film from that era and there is no attempt at originality. This is a paint-by-numbers ho-hum 80s slasher that you will forget the moment the end credits roll.

+1

(2013)**
A group of teens attend an epic rave party only something goes wrong in the night and each one of them is duplicated. A semi-sober few of them realize what has happened and convince a few more that they have to kill their duplicates. There is never a valid reason given for the phenomena but the main story seems to focus on one guy who is trying to get his girl back. He blew it with the first one so he decides to try a different strategy with the duplicate. Does the entire plot sound kind of lame? It is. Save for a couple of good scenes where people are killing their other selves it's just mostly watching a bunch of spoiled rich teens having a big expensive party.

This girl loved herself a little too much.

Trucks

(1997)*1/2

Some cosmic dust causes trucks to have a mind of their own and that mind is telling them to kill.

This idiot was killed by an RC! 

My 84 year old mother could have outrun it!

Of all the Stephen King short stories out there Trucks is by far not on my list of favorites and I'm an avid reader of his work. Yet here it is, the second film made about this particular story, the first being 1986's Maximum Overdrive. If I didn't think it could get any worse I now know it can after watching this version. This made-for-tv crap fest features an expressionless lead actress with some majorly annoying supporting actors. It was seriously painful to watch. If this film graces your doorstep, run!