Catfreeek's Best Of 2015

 As 2015 Horrorthon came to a close I thought about how far I'd come in the progression of things. I have honed myself down from a virtual horror watching machine to a much more selective and satisfied connoisseur of scary stuff. The best of tradition has been falling off the blog the last couple of years and I am hoping to revive it, so here is my list.

Favorite/Scariest film hands down goes to We Are Still Here.

 Best movie monster goes to Grabbers mostly because it was a cool monster but also because I didn't watch many monster movies this year.

Scream Queen has got to be Traci Lords in Crazy Eights.

 Scream Stud goes to Tom Hiddleston in Crimson Peak, he was so charming.

 Hidden Gem goes to The House at the End of Time.

 Most Disturbing is tied for me by two sets of twins, Niles & Holland in The Other and Lukas & Elias in Goodnight, Mommie.

 Worst by and far was Crazy Bitches.

Best So Bad It's Good goes to Evil Brain from Outer Space

 Goriest just had to be The Green Inferno

 Most Memorable Death goes to Exhibit A which reminds us that it takes a lot longer to actually kill a person then is usually projected in film.

Most Avoidable Death goes to The Houses October Built, just delete the fucking tape and we will go away, duh!

That concludes my 2015 Horrorthon experience, Happy Hauntings everyone!

The Canal

(2014) ****

Film archivist David and his wife and son (why is every kid in a movie named “Billy”?) live in a beautiful townhouse in Dublin abutting a canal. David’s seemingly idyllic life is shattered when he learns that his wife is having an extramarital affair with a co-worker. Coinciding with this upset David comes into possession of crime footage from a 1902 murder that took place in his home. Apparently a man suspected that his wife was having an affair and he killed her out of jealousy. Soon Alice goes missing and David is the number 1 suspect despite a lack of evidence. As time passes David begins to exhibit paranoia as he tries to convince a co-worker, his nanny and an increasingly suspicious detective that there is a specter in his house that is responsible for his wife’s disappearance.



Clearly influenced by horror movies such as Don’t Look Now (1973), The Ring (2002), Sinister (2012) and even some David Lynch director Ivan Kavanagh nonetheless crafts a creepy ghost story that burns slowly with growing dread as David begins to unravel. The cinematography is top-notch and the ambiguous setting adds to the creep factor. A scene involving the world’s grossest public bathroom is particularly jarring (okay, perhaps Trainspotting still holds that honor). Definitely recommended.

We Are Still Here

(2015)****1/2

Anne and Paul Sacchetti move to a nice home in a quiet New England town after the untimely death of their son. Unfortunately the house they chose is the one that wakes up every 30 years demanding a sacrifice. Anne feels and hears the presence of her son within the house so no matter what the old place wants to dish out, she is staying put.

Don't go in the basement.

Clearly this and It Follows were the films to see this year. Well done, scary and a fresh new approach all rolled into one. I do love a good haunted house film but it seems more often then not modern films are filled with pop ups and non-scary cgi ghosts. We are Still Here breaks the trend and delivers a much needed truly frightening change to the genre.

Seriously, there's nothing you need in that basement.

The film is set in 1979 which is becoming a recent and brilliant trend in the horror genre. Brilliant because it immediately eliminates the cell phone dilemma while connecting to an entire generation of horror fanatics that relish a time without modern technology, a time when horror found it's place in the limelight and exploded onto drive-in screens, a time when every boarded up abandoned house was surely haunted and sleepaway camp was terrifying because there had to be a killer lurking in the woods. If this film did not make it to your list this year by all means add it to next years line up post haste.

 For Godsake lady, get the fuck out of that basement!

This concludes my entries for Horrorthon 2015, my best of's list will be up soon. Horrorthon!

'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' TV spot #3 brings on the action!

Sacrament

(2013)***1/2

Documentarians travel to the cult commune of Eden Parish where journalist Patrick's sister Caroline now resides. Once they gain entrance it seems to be a happy place where all the inhabitants work together and enjoy the fruits of their labor. Under the direction of a man they call Father it seems they have found a way to live peacefully without stress and violence but things aren't always as they seem. None of the residents are allowed to leave.
Fashioned after the infamous Jonestown massacre this film features a soul stirring performance by Gene Jones (funny his real name is Jones) as Father. Any person watching this who is familiar with Jonestown would immediately make the connection. Like the Reverend Jones himself, Father is charismatic and a natural born leader. It is easy to see why those seeking a better way of life would take his bait greedily. The film gives insight as to why so many followed Rev. Jones all the way to the grave.

Treehouse

 (2015)***1/2

A girl and her brother are attacked and pursued into the woods by an unknown creature. They are separated and the girl seeks refuge in an old treehouse. Meanwhile, news of the missing kids is scrawled across the tv and a curfew is put into effect for the entire area. A young boy and his older brother plan a trek into the woods with some friends to light fireworks but when they arrive they discover they are not alone in the woods but find safety in the treehouse with the missing girl. The younger brother holds up with the girl while the older boy makes a dash for it to get help. As they wait out the night they are tormented by banging and loud noises but the creatures don't seem to want to come in. The girl reveals the fact that she is diabetic and will need to get sustenance soon or succumb to insulin shock. When no help has arrived by the break of day the two decide to make a run for it. All is revealed as the two teens must use their wit and agility to escape certain death.

How about this for a change, teens who make wise decisions, don't act like drunken fools or stoners and actually have some survival skills taught to them by their parents. Treehouse adds an element of realism throughout that sets it aside from the hundreds of other films that use the woods setting for their story. The teens just look like average kids too, no good looking Beeberesque fancy lads looking out of place in their little podunk town. In fact I didn't find any of the kids to be annoying and that in itself is a bloody miracle! Seeing a film like this made in current times gives me hope for the future of horror.

Perfect Sisters

(2014)***

Based on the true life story of  Sandra and Beth Andersen who murdered their mother in 2003, the story follows the girls as they come to the conclusion that their lives would be far better without their pill popping alcoholic mother in it. The two sisters concoct a perfectly viable scheme to drug mom into a sleepy daze then ease her into a warm bath where she will slip under the water and drown. The plan is much simpler than it turned out to be, mom still had some fight in her and Sandra had to forcefully hold her under. Still, the police bought it hook, line and sinker and the girls were scott free but Sandra has some trouble coping with what she had to do and begins drinking and bragging about how they killed their mom. A classmate, disturbed by their story goes to the police and turns them in. Altogether a solid story but why wouldn't it be since it is based in truth. Where the film falls short is in the acting, with a more substantial cast this could easily have been a four or five star film. Still, the story was intriguing enough to make me want to research the actual event and see what happened to the girls in the aftermath.

The Blood Lands (aka 'White Settlers')

(2014) **1/2

Yuppie city slickers Ed and Sarah are tired of the London rat race and on impulse purchase a large country home in Castle Farm, Scotland to capitalize on the cheap property taxes. Their real estate agent informs them that the home is historical because it was built on a site where a bloody battle between the English and the Scots took place centuries earlier (it’s true, I looked it up). At first all is well as the happy couple enjoys the tranquility the Scottish countryside has to offer. However their quietude is disrupted by a group of pig-mask wearing locals who are none too happy to have the English couple invade their territory. 

 
Woefully ignorant about English/Scottish history (don’t ever team up with me in Trivial Pursuit because I get every history question wrong although I knock the TV questions out of the park – the answer is always ‘Fonzie’), The Blood Lands ends up being an independence referendum-themed horror movie. However the political subtext is fairly pointless as the film devolves into a straight up home invasion tale. While the third reel is filled with tension/violence as the couple attempts to elude their home invaders, the set-up is simply too slow. This is the kind of film where a character wakes up in the middle of the night and declares, “I heard a noise coming from downstairs” and then the viewer is forced to watch the character explore the entire house in real time with no payoff. Some judicious editing would have moved the story along at a more rewarding pace. Like the nihilistic ‘The Strangers’ (2008) the entire exercise seems to be utterly pointless.

The Four Skulls Of Jonathan Drake

(1959)**1/2

Jonathan Drake returns home to attend his brother's funeral only to discover that his brother's head is missing although, the skull  has appeared in a locked cabinet within the house along with his grandfather's and father's skulls. Jonathan fears the ancient curse the Jivaro Indians placed on his grandfather has come to pass and he fears for the fate of his own head. He soon discovers he is being pursued by an ancient immortal indian who is extremely tall and has his lips sewn shut. He needs to find a way to break the curse before it's too late.

As horror from this era does so often have it's flaws I fear I did not escape the slowly inevitable fate of Mr. Jonathan Drake. The plot itself seemed rather thin to base an entire movie on, this would have worked far better as a shorter segment within an anthology. It becomes pretty apparent what the outcome is going to be so it was like riding a slow train to a familiar destination. I did like the shrunken heads but the lanky big nosed indian fellow was more comical visually instead of the ominous presence they were shooting for. In reading about the film I discovered this was a drive-in classic, considering the slow pace I imagine Jonathan Drake hosted a whole bunch of make-out sessions for horny teens invoking something much more vibrant than that feeling of fear they were shooting for.

Grabbers

(2012)***1/2

Since this has been reviewed already I will spare you the long synopsis. Basically an alien sea creature is brought back to a remote Irish isle where the inhabitants discover the only way they can remain safe to fight it is to be completely inebriated. They gather at the local pub and tank up while they figure out a plan to fight the alien.

In the fashion of Attack the Block and The World's End, Grabbers mixes the right cocktail of humor and danger to make it a really fun film to watch.

Bloody April Fools (Los Inocentes)

(2013) ***

Nine friends cram into a van for a weekend getaway of booze, drugs and sex. On route to their destination they get lost and rather than letting their trip go to waste they decide to spend the night at an abandoned hostel. Eschewing warnings from the locals that the hostel is cursed, the horny teens prepare for a night of debauchery by stocking up on liquor. As one friend tells another, “The more you get her to drink the more her buttons will open up on her shirt”. Amen, brother. The teens have a blast partying until they start dying from a vicious prankster.

Bloody April Fools delivers the goods! At a brisk 65 minutes the mayhem sets in quickly. Clearly an homage to 80s slashers (Friday the 13th in particular) the film is fairly cookie-cutter yet the deaths are brutal and gratifying (I hated nearly every character) and for those who like boobs there are plenty of them on display here. A fun little horror exercise when you don’t have a lot of time.