The Return of Dracula

(1958)

For whatever reason Count Dracula decides to leave the comfort of Eastern Europe in order to find new victims to munch on in small town USA. After murdering a goofy man travelling via train (?) to America Mr. Dracula steals his visa and assumes the man’s identity. The murder itself is hilarious. Rather than put up a fight goofy man collapses in a pile of wussness as Dracula does little more than walk (very) slowly towards him.



Believing Dracula to be their cousin from Europe, the American branch of the family embraces the count at the train station never suspecting his imposter status. Soon after being whisked off to the Mayberry-like town where the family resides the good Count begins his masticating ways. By day he sleeps and at night he secretly works on his new lair at the bottom of an abandoned coal mine. Meanwhile, immigration officials begin lurking about following the discovery of the murdered man on the train. It doesn’t take long before Dracula becomes the prime suspect and is quietly placed under surveillance. Dracula, of course, easily evades their attempts to catch him as he continues his evening neck feasts. I mean, how could mere mortals stop the Lord of the Dead? Who do they think they are, Van Helsing? Like every monster film from this era the townsfolk eventually figure things out and form an angry mob.

This was a fun film from the Hammer era that frequently made me giggle. It was impossible, for example, to keep a straight face whenever Dracula was on screen given his Dean Martin hairdo




Why would Dracula choose a small rural town where everyone knows one another to set up shop? It wouldn’t be too difficult for the townsfolk to figure out that the murderer among them is the new, weird guy who is rarely seen during daylight hours. Why not go to NYC where he would have endless hors d'oeuvres of homeless people and prostitutes? No one cares about them, right? Also, Dracula only gives lip service to the whole vampires-can’t-be-in-daylight rule. Several times he is seen walking at high noon like he’s on his way to jury duty. I know, I know, I’m not supposed to ask these questions, but just one more; why no freakin’ fangs? Seriously, not once do we see Dracula’s teeth nor do we witness any murders. Instead we are repeatedly treated to seeing him give potential victims the old crazy eyes (see first picture). Rant over. This was a silly, yet highly enjoyable take on the Dracula mythos.