First rule of Horrorthon is: watch horror movies. Second rule of Horrorthon is: write about it. Warn us. Tempt us. The one who watches the most movies in 31 days wins. There is no prize.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
HHD: The Field Trip!
There was something strangely surreal about the school field trip. Most school days involve a programmed, predictable schedule. However, once in a blue moon children are given the greatest news ever, “We will be going on a field trip”. Ah, the field trip, a chance to broaden one’s horizons and learn about something new hands-on. As if. The field trip was essentially a day off from school, except it’s a day off from school with your teacher and everyone you went to school with, and if you were unlucky, with your mom as a chaperone.
By now I’ve probably mentioned my field trip lament a half a dozen times. For reasons unknown Rhode Island is home to the Hasbro Toy factory. When I was in first grade my class was going to go on a field trip to Hasbro to learn how toys were made. As you might imagine this is just about the greatest news a young boy might ever hear in a lifetime. Who am I kidding; it would be the greatest news even at my current age. On the morning of the big field trip I woke up scratching. Yep, I had the chicken pox and I missed the field trip. A week or two later when I returned to school the teacher gave me a Weeble. Apparently the class learned how Weebles were manufactured. My only consolation was that the rest of the class developed chicken pox soon after I returned.
I generally have a terrible memory (it’s pretty scary, actually), but I remember every single school field trip. It’s called flashbulb memory and it’s why you all remember where you were when the space shuttle blew up or when Princess Diana perished. I don’t have a lot of fond memories of school (years of being bullied and a very average academic record are not things I like to think about), but I recall the joy of the field trip. Granted I live in Rhode Island and there are not too many interesting field trip opportunities in the near vicinity, but still, I’ll never forget those outings.
So where did your field trips take you? What were your best outings? Your worst? The most bizarre? Come on Horrorthonners, I’m in a bad mood, cheer me up with your haikus!
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47 comments:
My favorite place
Goethe-Institut Boston
a German class perk
A fun filled day out
Cookies & O' Tanenbaum
a huge Christmas tree
The tree all lit up
with real candles top to toe
must have been some task
Day of no English
My German was not that good
Think I missed a lot
Yankee Doodler trip
Grand mother of all field trips
One whole fun filled week
Nightmare for teachers
Colonial Williamsburg
They sold us all beer
Drunken teens raging
Tearing up the hotel rooms
puking in the halls
grade school, plymouth rock?
the teacher fell, broke her arm
they say she was drunk
Harrisburg grade school
Hershey 30 minutes east
Field trip holy land
The Washington Trip
Nothing of value learned, save:
Don't drink Jolt at night
Big JSP fight
Threw fat kid's undies at me
While I was sleeping
Underwear was wet
Eight grade murderous hatred
Worst roommate ever
Sigh. "Eighth."
6th grade class ski trip
Threw up on the bus ride there
Oh, the sheer horror
I had weird field trips
Coke Cola Company
Mystery of Coke solved
We saw it bottled
And watched a shitty short film
I had a free Coke
Old Sturbridge Village
The most boring place on earth
Let’s bring the children
The Milk Factory
Free samples at conclusion
We all picked chocolate
The Bread Factory
Baking bread smells very strange
Don't care what they say
The Box Factory
Passed by the Slide Factory
These boxes hold nails
Please sir, leave me be
19th century accents
Give me a headache
I’m a kid dammit
I don’t care for cider mills
Nor the Old Towne House
Back to Washington
Scavongelli's underwear
It was WET, damn you
Shame on you Handsome!
Dragging my good name through mud
I did no such thing
Went to Colt State Park
Slipped and fell in the ocean
Springthorpe yelled at me
Bleech, 'nature' field trips
A lazy, boring outing
Show me a jungle
First grade, Memphis zoo.
Saw a rhinoceros pee
Buckets and buckets.
I do not recall
The “Underwear Incident”
But I’m not sorry
It’s hilarious
And you must have deserved it
Also – it’s funny
Good name for a band
“Scavongelli’s Underwear”
Ok, maybe not
I'm sure it was you
Undies didn't throw themselves
Unless...was it Scav?
Memory hazy
Attacked Pants for SOME reason
You stole my Skittles?
Plymouth Rock bore-fest
You call that an attraction?
It’s only a rock
junior high outing
viewing "the wiz" at showcase
worst. field trip. ever.
A.C. sees The Wiz
That flick's 'educational'?
Ease on down indeed
Unlike in my day
My kids had awesome field trips
to nice restaurants
We got McDonald's
they all cringed at the rest stop
when the bus pulled in
Ben has good field trips
Fenway Park, Boston Museum
I just got 'nature'
The Smithsonian
wax cavemen & dinosaurs
a bore fest for teens
Bus took a wrong turn
bad neighborhood, saw a whore
beating up a guy
We all took pictures
most exciting thing we saw
that bitch kicked his ass
Imagine a bus
filled with white Barrington teens
in DC's ghetto
The golden ticket
Without it, stomach plummets:
The permission slip
Aaah permission slips
I was the class go to girl
resident forger
Salem Witch Museum
Death, torture, hysteria
All made tedious
How disappointing
Came here to see witches burn
Not courtroom drama
Roger Williams zoo
Trying to make llamas spit
by spitting at them
Miss class, go watch plays
That thingy's name escapes me
Subscription Series?
Skipped out on the play
Cruised Thayer Street for hours
Slipped right back on bus
"It's fun to find out
What your voice really sounds like"
I must disagree
Do Orlando kids
Take field trips to Disney World?
I went to 'nature'
Artifacts you say?
Tools, utensils, furniture?
Fuck you Old Sturbridge
You have a tin shop
But tin shops don't interest me
Bite a dick, Sturbridge
A college spring break
Disney World, bag of mushrooms
Awesomest field "trip"
Sidewalks lighting up
Talking water fountains (swear)
I learned quite a bit
Alton Jones slogan
Was "you pick it, you eat it"
Endlessly funny
Bricks, rocks, car bumpers
Kept escalating the joke
Ignored the lessons
johnny's too hostile,
proves reaction formation;
johnny hearts sturbridge!
So many field trips
Back to Alton Jones, yay
Our box factory
Once at Alton Jones
I saw JPX drink cup
Of salad dressing
Circle now complete:
Ski trip bus-barfing moment?
Alton Jones sweatshirt
Subscription series!
I think that's right, HandsomeStan.
That was a good one.
I recall we got
out of school a LOT. Not bad
for drama club geeks.
I'm with JSP,
Sturbridge village sucks! Long-ass
bus ride to nowhere.
Chorus exchange trip.
Toronto? Cool! Ten hour
bus ride? Pure torture!
Had the seat next to
the john. Ten hours of stink.
Sweaty geeks and shit.
Hey... Weebles wobble
But they don't get chicken pox
Ha ha JPX
Fake pilgrims scared me
Old lady sat in the dark
She talked of "vapors"
Stench of bus bathroom
Stared at Colleen O'Brien
Crap. Linked forever.
Limbless plastic gimps
Start of JPX's fear?
Weebles equal stumps
i loved alton jones
never had field trip there though
now i feel deprived
though not on field trip
had first kiss at alton jones
forgotten till now
octo, may we learn
dressing-chugging backstory?
or its consequence?
"Field Trip Episode"
Facts of Life in NYC
Tootie turns hooker
We walked among them
Did they see the cars out there?
Should I point them out?
(The Pilgrims, I mean)
Years later: "They were actors!"
I have no excuse
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