The ones we grew up with,
The ones we made our parents read over and over again,
The ones we couldn't wait to read to our own kids,
The ones we secretly still read to ourselves.
The ones we avoid....for whatever reasons.
So. Would you, could you
tell me true? Which children's books
are the best for you?
30 comments:
The boy was greedy
He used the tree like a whore
And gave nothing back
Johnny wins.
Damnit, my first one was going to be The Giving Tree!
Was the tree selfless?
Nah, he was an enabler
Made the kid helpless
Goodnight Moon bunny
He wakes thirsty in the night
Gah! Nothing but mush
The Cat in the Hat
Uninvited, trashes house
A sociopath
Good little monkey
Always very curious
George stop throwing poop!
That tree was lazy
Produced one batch of apples
And never grew more
Goodnight Moon kittens
Play with yarn while mouse roams free
Throw those two bums out
Judy likes to feel
Daddy's freakish birthmark. Jeff
Reads Pat the Bunny.
Brown bear, brown bear, what
Do you see? I see a gun.
New shorter version.
Waldo’s paranoid
And with very good reason
We all search for him
Give Waldo a break
He just wants to be alone
That's too much to ask?
Waldo? Solitude?
Why's he always surrounded?
Make some sense Johnny!
Man with yellow hat
Set up a trap and stole George
What a fucking jerk
Loved the Great Brain books
Tom manipulates people
Yep, antisocial
Are you my mother?
No, you are a scary snort.
In my case, it's true.
Anonymity
That is all that Waldo seeks
Stop staring at him
Good little monkey
Always very curious
Hands out of my pants!
Where the sidewalk ends--
In LA, it's every street.
Pedestrian hell.
The Pooh characters
Have psychiatric problems
Just think about it
Take Eyeore for ex.
Yep, Dysthymic Disorder
Needs SSRI's
Don't forget Tiger
Yep, bipolar mania
Needs some Lithium
What about Piglet?
Generalized anxiety
He worries too much
Then there's the Rabbit
Who is fond of making lists
He's OCPD*
Owl is easy
He's a classic narcissist
Mr. Know-it-all
And what about Pooh?
He seems confused about things
Yeah, he's retarded
*Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
I’ve got a theory
As to why he always smiles
Mr. Happy’s stoned
Disembodied pants
How can you not be afraid?
And they're green to boot!
What's Yertle's problem
Turtle on a power trip?
Nah, he's just a dick
Gave friend's kid a book
called "Walter the Farting Dog"
of course he loves it
Dogs and farts are great
subject matter for all kids
they just have to laugh
the best children's books
are also good for adults
and yes, johnny wins
maybe once a year
i re-read "little house" books
and yes, i own them
our fifth grade teacher
read aloud from "narnia"
yes, best class ever
sorry, don't have more
i truly love the topic
but my brain is beat
Those 500 hats
Poor Bartholomew Cubbins
He should have sold them
Harold drew his world
I want that purple crayon
draw me a mansion
Stop me if I'm wrong
If ham & eggs have gone green
They're not safe to eat
Every girl must know
You there God it's me Margaret
the period book
Margaret had issues
She couldn't wait to get it
the sadistic bitch
Food for their small minds
I read to my kids nightly
Two chapters tonight?
Favorite of theirs
The Princess Bride was the tops
Read that one five times
Another they liked
The great glass elevator
Roald Dahl was twisted
Wizard boarding school
Would be so fucking awesome
Let's just admit it
Kiss your own elbow
If you can, you're a fairy
If you can't, you're not
Good little monkey
Always very curious
That is your penis.
A golden ticket
I think I need one of those
Where is mine, dammit?
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