Sunday, December 05, 2010

Criminal Lovers (Les Amants Criminels)

(1999) **1/2

Alice convinces her boyfriend Luc to help her murder one of their high school classmates. Once the deed is done they head off on a robbing spree, and finally to the forest to dispose of the body. Unfortunately, their footprints, which they thought they would use to track their way back, have disappeared and they find themselves hopelessly lost in the deep, dark woods. When they discover a cabin amongst the trees, they think they’ve hit the jackpot with food and shelter, but instead they find themselves becoming the prisoner of a crazy secluded trapper.

Criminal lovers, like many French films, is a bit peculiar. It’s not your typical being held captive by a mad man tale. You don’t find yourself sitting on the edge of your seat biting your nails in anticipation of the captive’s possible escape or demise like you would in a film such as Wolf Creek. This film just doesn’t have that tone or tension, and it doesn’t because that’s not what it’s about. It’s more about sexual appetite…remember this is French, and so the viewer’s expectations are less fixated on the characters’ survival and more on wondering what direction this movie may take.

It certainly travels to strange places, but nothing to faint over. It has some interesting moments, but honestly I really wasn’t taken by its major theme, and I found Alice and Luc to be quite unappealing. She’s bitchy, whiny, and entitled, and he’s passive and pathetic. It’s not a total dozer, but it certainly doesn’t make my list of must see French horror.

18 comments:

DKC said...

Too bad it didn't pan out; the idea sounds like it could have been a good one.

JPX said...

I’m so pleased that you stuck to your guns and stayed with the French horror throughout Horrorthon. About 5 years ago I was speaking to a Polish colleague about horror movies and she remarked that horror was not really a genre tackled in Polish cinema. At the time I made a grossly ignorant statement suggesting that very few countries made horror movies. When High Tension came out I thought it was an aberration given that you don’t normally associate the French with horror movies. Over the years Horrorthonners have unearthed a few other French treasures including Martyrs, but I still never appreciated how many French horror films exist until you informed me that you intended to tackle the genre this year. I must admit that I didn’t have much faith that you would be able to find enough to sustain yourself throughout the month but you certainly proved me wrong.

It is too bad that this one, like many, didn’t pan out and instead devolved into sex/relationships, like many you reviewed seemed to do. Your opening paragraph sounded terrific and I was ready to hunt this film down but the seachange in tone suggests that this one is not worth the time. Nice summary and nice job on Horrorthon this year. This has been your most prolific year to date and I know that you have a bunch more that you haven’t written up yet. I can understand that that waning enthusiasm from the blog as a whole to read new reviews factors into your reluctance to keep going but I encourage you to put them out even if it takes all year. I’m in the same boat!

Whirlygirl said...

JPX, you have no idea how prolific a year it has been...be prepared to have your butt kicked.

JPX said...

Oh please, Whirly! You're all talk, we'll see who the last person standing is...

Whirlygirl said...

I'm going to start churning out reviews soon, and then we'll see who is boss.

JPX said...

Once I trounce your butt I want you to henceforth refer to me as "boss"

DKC said...

Ha-ha! I love you guys and I hope you do put them all up! (Can't wait for you to trounce the Boss, Whirly!)

Whirlygirl said...

I'm the boss.

JPX said...

I know that's true most of the time, but not when it comes to horror movie watchin'! I believe there's a pizza in the wager?

Whirlygirl said...

Pizza? No way, I want something much bigger than that when I wipe the floor with you.

JPX said...

Excuse me, your highness, I forgot that you're a woman of discriminating taste!

Whirlygirl said...

Yup, better start thinking big. I want an unforgettable victory prize.

Whirlygirl said...

Shoot, my big mouth has really forced me to finish all of my reviews.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

This one sounds… underwhelming. Whirly, I want to see your list of must see French horror.
1)Martyrs
2)High Tension
3)Inside
4)Frontier(s)
5)Them (Ils)
6)that one about the chick obsessed with her scars that I haven’t seen yet but sounds positively revolting
7)Les Yeux Sans Visage (Eye Without a Face)
Am I forgetting anything?

JPX said...

Finish your damn reviews, woman (and *cough cough* Octo, JSP, Cat...).

How about a deluxe pizza, Whirly, will that cover it? Wait, I'm going to beat you so I'm putting in my order right now, I want a deluxe pizza.

Whirlygirl said...

JPX, why don't you just get it over with and tell me how many movies you watched so I can start doing my victory dance. We both know that I beat you.

JSP,I will put together my list of must see French horror at the end of my reviews, which could be three years from now. You have an excellent list going, and I definitely have more to add. I would maybe take Frontier(s) off...I was underwhelmed.

JPX said...

Victory dance, my ass, WG! I trounced you and you will find out in time.

Catfreeek said...

"She’s bitchy, whiny, and entitled, and he’s passive and pathetic." ~ That's enough to make me pass on this one.

X

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