The Host

Wait, Bong Joon? Is that like Bongcheon-Dong and that ghost?

The Host (2006)**

Anyway, "The Host" is a Korean horror film about a mutated fish-monster that comes out of the Han River, mostly from that bad chemicals that was dumped in by a US military guy who is a complete douche. It gets a pretty big death count fairly quickly because no one notices anything and DOESN'T FUCKING RUN AWAY. The main character is a guy who trips over his own feet and, while he does help, he is pretty much perpetually looking around like an idiot and is not the brightest bulb. Also everyone suffers from the falling-over bug that plagues most horror films, and overall everyone is an idiot who doesn't hear CROWDS OF PEOPLE SCREAMING. Not to mention that a lot of people in the government are played off as incompetent, while the military, both the US and the Korean one, are shown as doing their best to hide how much they are to blame for this.

While mostly CGI, the creature design is pretty good. The monster is not just ugly, but also weird enough to be some monstrous thing that comes out of the river. In some ways, this is more a bit of a comedy than a horror, but I just can't get invested in the characters or in their struggle. The only fun parts are when the monster appears or attacks. The main characters are not all that interesting and spend most of their time yelling at each other or about how things are going, to the point that I don't like any of them and have almost no investment in their safety.

"The Host" is a fairly good horror movie, with good scares and an interesting, terrifying monster. The politics aside, most of which is focused in Korea, still give you the sense of dread as people try to deal with the monster. At the same time, I just...can't get invested in the movie or the characters, though the daughter is someone that I enjoyed following, since most of her screen time was also around the monster's lair or doing her best to escape it or hide from it. 

See, this is why I listen to stories about colorful talking ponies being horribly murdered.