Spider-Man called me this morning

From x-entertainment, "We didn't go see the new Ninja Turtles movie last night as planned. Wish I had a good reason for that, but it really just boiled down to becoming obsessed with reading about various Mortal Kombat characters on Wikipedia. For real. I'm also now faced with really, really wanting to see The Hills Have Eyes 2 whenever I step foot inside a movie theater, so I'm going to pretend that I'll actually go through with seeing two movies in succession on some nearby Saturday afternoon, when the reality is that I probably won't see either movie until they're packaged with exclusive mini-posters as Best Buy DVD exclusives seven months from now.

More importantly, Spider-Man called me this morning.
What an awesome promotion. Today marks the in-store debut of Spider-Man 3 toys, and Hasbro has just been totally godlike in their promotional brilliance. For one, each of the major chains has their own "exclusives." I think Wal-Mart bests TRU and Target — they've got some really cool black-costumed ultra-articulated Spider-Man figure that looks like the kind of thing that needs to be gracing the top of every geek's computer monitor by the end of the weekend. It's a safe bet that thousands of collectors zipped to all three stores this morning just to grab the exclusives, and I'm having trouble deciding if I'm happy or sad that I missed all of the hubbub. At the very least, I hope to own a "Spider Spud" Mr. Potato Head by the next time I shave.

Among the many clever ways that Hasbro has instilled a sense of urgency in the toy-buying public is something that I think people will remember for years and years and years. If you were smart enough to enter your phone number on a special promo site, you are one of the blessed souls who received a phone call from Spider-Man early this afternoon. I, of course, couldn't resist.

My phone rang at about 12:20, and I was subsequently treated to a 45 second prerecorded Spidey message reminding me that his new toys are now on sale! Yes! Sure, it's just blog fodder for me, but think about all the kids who got that call today. It's something they'll be writing about on their own nostalgia sites twenty years from now. Some would argue that we shouldn't dilute the heroism of Spider-Man by making him personally shill action figures and playsets, but who better to inspire people to buy Spider-Man dolls than Spider-Man himself? Aside from the obvious consumer awareness aspect, Spider-Man just has the perfect salesy voice. I'd pay a sawbuck for dog shit if he told me to."

The BLOB: Episode 1

From dark horizons, "House of Wax" & "The Reaping" screenwriters Chad and Carey Hayes have been given the job of writing the script for a remake of "The Blob".

The 1958 original starred a young Steve McQueen, and was remade in 1988 with Kevin Dillon. Twenty years on comes this version which changes the backstory of the sentient amorphous substance.

"It's a B.L.O.B: Biological Lethal Organic Bomb. It was created by our own government in the 50s, they beta tested it, it almost got out of control, but they confined it. Now it's back. But it's a fast blob, there's nothing slow, it's got major attitude. It's like Shaun of the Dead or Tremors" said the Hayes brothersto Bloody-Disgusting.

The brothers also say that the story features an ensemble cast with a female lead.

Blue Monday

From dark horizons, Anonto Corbijn's Ian Curtis biopic "Control" has been filming for some time now, and The Newcastle Sentinel uncovered some small bits of new information whilst speaking with extras on the set.

New Order, the band Joy Division became after Ian's death, have recorded the film's soundtrack, and the score is also expected to include music by the Sex Pistols, David Bowie and Roxy Music.

The band made of actors are actually going to perform in the film as well in several scenes. Members of the Black Cobra kick-boxing club were enlisted to act as bouncers during a riot at a Joy Division gig.Producer Orlan Williams adds "Even the decision to film in black and white is important. When people read about the band the first time, everything was in black and white - the photographs, the NME".

Mad Max, still crazy

From iwatchstuff, "Mel Gibson apparently went crazy again last night at Cal State Northridge when a Mayan culture expert accused him of racially stereotyping the Mayans in his movie Apocalypto. He was giving a presentation and afterwards the crowd was allowed to ask questions. An Assistant Professor of Central American Studies asked if Mel had read about Mayan culture before shooting the film and Gibson said he had. Then she pushed even further, saying his representations of Mayan sacrificial ceremonies and bloodlst were racist. Mel responded, "Lady, Fuck off." Then members of the Mayan community protested on how they were portrayed in the film and as they escorted from the room by event organizers Mel screamed at them "Make your own movie!"

It's nice to see his anger management classes have paid off. I just hope he never stops being crazy so that in thirty years I can read about an 80-year-old Mel Gibson breaking his arm after trying to punch out a woman for, well, being a woman.

EDIT: Had to take down the photos but you can check them out here."

Just don't piss me off, Watson

From iwatchstuff, "Rememer how they're revamping and, dare I say, "awesome-izing" Sherlock Holmes by focusing on his fisticuffs and swordfighting? In order to get the brute physicality they want in the character, a recent report says Russell Crowe is the current favorite for the role. And because this is being reported on TeenHollywood.com, I'm taking it as fact."

Watson has an epiphany

Our long national nightmare comes to a close as Warner Bros. finally announced today that Emma Watson has indeed signed to play Hermione Granger in the final two HARRY POTTER films. Creepy forty year old men nationwide are finally able to dry their fat tears off their fat cheeks and get back to their regularly scheduled stalking and masturbation.

Here’s the story:

'Ho guys,
Dan Radcliffe (Harry Potter), Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) and Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) will all reprise their roles for the final two Harry Potter films; Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The announcement comes after numerous reports and speculation on the fate of the roles.'

The press release is here.

This is great news for the series, which has been getting better and better with each new film. Allowing the three to keep their roles gives the series a continuity that is (to my knowledge) completely unique to Hollywood.

We're lightweights compared to this dude

From AICN, "Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

I don’t know who this guy is, and normally I don’t run stuff like this, but I am so amazed and so entertained by his work that I have to share a link with you guys.

This one showed in my inbox today from “The Yattering,” an old school talkbacker and friend of mine, and it was just a simple link to a guy’s blog. On that blog were... well... they’re almost impossible to describe. I could, but it would ruin all the fun.

Suffice it to say that I would pay to see this version of the films, and I love the way the iconography of STAR WARS is so potent that you can bend it even as far as this guy does, and it still retains something of its essence.

Steampunk + STAR WARS = you click here!!

Trust me... it’s worth ten minutes of your day"

Who ya gonna call?

From moviesonline, "A terrified man runs down a street, followed by something hidden in the darkness. He slams the door to his home, believing his is safe – but doors can’t keep this horror out. A ghoulish apparition suddenly appears, killing him in a most horrific way…

Sammy and Tom are paranormal investigators, trying to solve a case that has haunted Tom for years. Every year, he comes to Germany – and every year, he leaves empty-handed. This year, however, they run into Donnie, an old friend who informs them of an unsolved mystery that’s right up their alley.

Donnie’s American friend Sarah has been having nightmares. Her sister was brutally murdered and voices from beyond have drawn her to Germany, where she believes the answers must lie.
Teaming up with Sammy and Tom, the group tries to seek out answers to the murder – and the ghoulish deaths that are befalling citizens of this small German town. The people here know more than they let on… and no one can be trusted.

Friends become enemies – and the living become the dead… Who was responsible for the murder of Sarah’s sister? What secrets do the town’s mysterious strangers hide? What does the vicious phantom want?

Anyone read this?

Midnight Meat Train (2008) : Midnight Meat Train is based on Clive Barker's short story, it follows a New York photographer who attempts to track down a serial killer dubbed the "Subway Butcher". When he goes underground he discovers more then he can possibly imagine on the Midnight Meat Train

More dumb Anna news

From thesuperficial, "The National Enquirer and Star are reporting that Anna Nicole Smith died of a lethal level of a potent sleep medication, although she also had a blood infection that would've killed her had the sleep aid not. She took the sleep-inducer chloral hydrate (used in date rape drugs) on Feb 7 and then never woke up.

The official results were supposed to be announced Monday by the Broward County Medical Examiner but the National Enquirer and Star broke the story. They're usually a little off with their reporting but this just sounds right. Although any explanation involving the word "overdose" probably would've sounded right. They could've said she overdosed on horse manure and I would just nod my head in silent knowing."

The Cylons' Final Five ... Revealed?

Don't worry, fellas, I wouldn't spoil it.

From syfyportal, "The following story contains possible MAJOR SPOILERS for the Season 3 finale of "Battlestar Galactica." If you do not want to be spoiled on some of the major parts of this episode, please click here now."