Sunday, September 27, 2009

Box Office


From ew, Seconds, anyone? Eating up $24.6 million worth of tickets, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs defied box office gravity by falling a minuscule 19 percent to win the top spot yet again. The CG family film capitalized on good buzz and a lack of kid-friendly fare in theaters to best three new wide releases, raising its total gross to $60 million. In a distant second place, Surrogates, starring Bruce Willis as an FBI agent in a futuristic world, opened to $15 million. That’s a middling bow for a headliner like Willis, but the Die Hard star can hardly be blamed: His image was totally absent from much of the movie’s marketing, including an odd poster campaign that featured human-robot hybrids in seductive poses.

At number three with $10 million, the much-hyped Fame remake failed to light up the sky like a flame, as it were. With no recognizable names among its youthful stars (the supporting cast features vets like Megan Mullally and Kelsey Grammer), the musical relied almost entirely on nostalgia for the 1980 original to fill seats. The weekend’s other new release, the outer space thriller Pandorum, failed to launch, earning just $4.4 million from 2,506 theaters for a decidedly earthbound per-screen average of $1,758.

But there was plenty of good news among holdovers this week on top of Meatballs‘ repeat victory. Raking in $6.9 million, Matt Damon’s off-kilter comedy The Informant! fell just 34 percent in its second weekend, a sure sign of good word of mouth for the Steven Soderbergh-directed pic. Meanwhile, Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself stayed put for a third weekend in the top five with $4.8 million.

Further down the chart, a pack of limited-release pics tested the waters with mixed results. There were a few clear winners: Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story generated a whopping $240,000 from just four theaters for $60,000 per-screen average—the year’s best so far. The Audrey Tautou period biopic Coco Before Chanel grossed $177,000 at 5 location for a $35,400 average, and The Office star John Krasinski pulled in $20,600 at a single screen with his directorial debut, Brief Interviews with Hideous Men. Meanwhile, slower starts were had by the Clive Owen drama The Boys Are Back ($51,000 from six screens) and I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, featuring macho blogger and best-selling author Tucker Max, which earned a so-so $369,000 from 120 theaters.

Fantastic Fest Review: Trick ‘R Treat


From slashfilm, Trick r Treat is the best Halloween movie since John Carptenter’s 1978 classic. X-Men 2 screenwriter Michael Dougherty’s feature filmmaking debut feels like a film that Steven Spielberg might have made in the 1980’s if he didn’t go all PG. It feels like the Amblin film that Orci and Kurtzman always claim they are aiming to make.

Usually anthologies are hit or miss, but Trick r Treat is solid in almost every respect, every story, every character and every kill.

This isn’t really a super gory film, nor is it a film filled with scares or intensely creepy imagery. I forgot how much fun the horror genre could be. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed this film. Trick ‘r Treat harkens back to a time before Halloween became commercialized. I’m not sure how this film might play to kids of the 1990’s, but I’m sure anyone who grew up pre-Back to the Future will love taking this visual trip. The production design is fantastic, every visual feels like it has a lot of thought behind each frame, each cut. Dougherty is able to pack quite a few old school twists and turns. The story beats are familiar, but not what you might expect.

I left the theater conflicted: So very happy I got the chance to see the film on the big screen, yet so angry that others would not get the chance.

Fuck Hollywood. Why has this film taken over two years to get a release? Why is it being dumped direct to DVD? This could have been Warner Bros’ next annual franchise. Not marketable? Anna Paquin stars in a story not much unlike that of her hit television series True Blood. Warner Bros could have produced a new one of these films each year, with a new writer, new director, and entirely new cast. How did they screw this one up?

Daily Spider-Man - Sunday Edition: More questionable physics, and also SPLANGG!

Octo worked on tonight's Family Guy!

Tonight's Family Guy season premiere has Brian and Stewey travelling between different dimensions, including a stop-motion sequence in the Robot Chicken universe. It's only about thirty seconds, but the walls and stairs and wall art were assembled by my own grubby fingers. Nine o'clock on Fox!

Chris will not have tentacles. This picture is just a moment of screwing around.

Friday, September 25, 2009

October's coming

...and that means Horrorthon, obviously. If Horrorthon were a slightly bigger deal, there could be a series of Horrorthon t-shirts with evocative horror-movie quotations on them (on the opposite side from the logo), like this:


"THEY'RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA"

"SEVEN DAYS"

"WE ALL GO A LITTLE MAD SOMETIMES"

"HERE'S JOHHNY"


These are pretty obvious (if anyone wants to screw around naming the movies). What would be some other good ones?

Expensive Cloth Made Of Spider Silk

Seventy people collected a million of these things off telephone poles in Madagascar. Then the spiders were hooked up to a silk extraction machine and forced to churn out golden silk, which was made into a big tablecloth. Turns out spider silk is stronger than steel or kevlar, so this is one awesome table cloth.

Read more here.

Holy F@#$ That Is Terrifying


From toplessrobot, Actually, it's as terrifying as it is cool, and admittedly, it's pretty darn cool. It's Hot Toys' PERS -- their Parallel Eyeball-Rolling System -- which allows their already mystically accurate 12-inch action figures to have their eyes looking wherever you want. It's an amazing addition to an already amazing toy, but good god -- did they really have to demonstrate it with the severed head of the Joker? The only way this video could have been creepier is if the hand was covered in blood

Daily Spider-Man - Today's Edition, Spidey again defies physics

Thursday, September 24, 2009

In a surprise upset JPX wins Haiku Hump Day!



Just kidding, just kidding. Wow, what can I say, you Horrorthonners really had a lot of pet peeves. I think I learned some things about you people that make me a bit scared. I was worried that “pet peeves” would be too similar to JSP’s recent “rant” haiku hump day post, but I argued (rationalized) with myself that there is a difference. Upon reflection I believe that pet peeves and rants are pretty much the same thing, but I don’t care, it made for one of the most enjoyable days of haiku hump day reading, ever! You curmudgeons spun tons of angry gold and made it virtually impossible to choose a winner because I love them all.

In no particular order, these haikus tickled me,

Handsomestan shares my rage over the same things


Nice big fat family
Take up the whole sidewalk, please
I'll just use the curb

Loud car stereo
If it's mine, then I'm awesome
Otherwise, fuck you

I loved AC’s complaints about the rich


mcmansions, really?
you need that much living space,
go colonize mars

driving a hummer?
douchebaggery as clear as
sporting a goatee

JSP’s football haikus were spot on for me


I don't get football
Whistle blows, meatheads collide
Cue commerical break

Ok now we're back
A flag seems to have been thrown
Ten minutes go by

Instant replay now
Once again in slow motion
Cue commercial break

Whistle blows - game on!
Whistle blows seconds later
What the hell happened?

7 minutes left
Which means 55 minutes
In dumb football talk

Julie was in a perfect pet peeve mood, Zack and Octo were both targets!


Why won't our kid, Zack
Get off my boobs already?
Drink some cow's milk, kid.

"It looks like these fell,"
Says Octo of my pictures.
I am sarcastic.

"Yep, it looks that way,"
I say, but my tone says more:
"You are a dumbass."

Why so mean Julie?
He's just asking 'bout your shit.
Just be glad he cares.

But when I am tired,
I'll slay you with sarcasm
Just for my own fun.

My favorite Octo haikus


Met girl at party
She thought Jar Jar was funny
Give me back my pipe

And Octo’s response to Julie’s vitriolic jabs,

It totally sucks
To get served by your own wife
It's my new pet peeve

Meanwhile, in real life
Sarcastic Girl said sorry
'Cuz I called her out

50P has me rolling with these,


facebook friend request
we *never* spoke in high school
midlife crisis much?

"CONGRATULATIONS!
YOU'VE JUST WON A FREE I-POD!"
too loud *and* a scam

drunk frat boy buffoon
turn that DMB shit off
stop calling me "bra"

Whirlygirl made a very rare and welcomed appearance,


It could save your life
Antibacterial gel
Dumb things strangers say

Holy shit rain drops!
Hit the brakes again, again.
Rhode Island drivers

Plate of free samples
Sure, reach your bare hands right in
Bacteria bowl

“Please flush the toilet”
Do we really need a sign?
Masses are asses

DCD seemed more angry than peeved! After slamming her work staff and tourists, she took aim at all of us


Know why I'm annoyed?
Had to work the overnight
last night. Fucking beat.

Instead of bedtime,
I'm writing fucking haikus.
Screw you, jerks! Good night!

The always reliable Catfreeek produced lots of gems including


Dog pooped on my lawn
and your now walking away
I hope it attacks you

when you tell stories
don't constantly hit my arm
to make sure I hear

people who tell jokes
then laugh loudly at themselves
makes me warm with rage

don't fart in my car
it makes the ride unpleasant
and I will hate you

After much consideration, this week’s haiku hump day winner is…

Read the first comment to learn the answer.

Carnival Of Souls

(1962) **** Carnival Of Souls  is in the absolute tip-toppest tier of late-night horror flicks. If all you want to do is watch something til...