Life After Beth

(2014)

***1/2

Zach’s girlfriend Beth tragically dies from a snakebite while hiking in the woods.  The funeral is very sad, and Zach is having trouble coping with the change, especially since his own family is too self-absorbed and ignorant as to how Zach is suffering.  He forms a friendship with Beth’s parents, but then becomes befuddled when they suddenly shut him out.  Zach goes to investigate and finds that Beth may not be dead after all.

Most of Romero’s zombie films aren’t about zombies.  Life About Beth follows this precedent, in that even though Zach’s girlfriend is now a zombie, and other zombies pop up all over the town, this is not a movie about zombies.  This is about a fragile guy, Zach, who’s having trouble getting over his girlfriend.  He was passionately in love with her, and this movie explores Zach’s tortured process of learning to let Beth go, and how the return of zombie Beth makes letting go even tougher. 

 

Zach’s struggle seems genuine, but his supporting cast of weird family members are modern day updates from a John  Hughes movie – one-dimensional exaggerations of people that don’t support Zach.  It has a few darkly funny moments, but nothing hilarious.  The actors are great, and the cast is surprisingly well known: John C. Reilly, Anna Kendrick, Molly Shannon, Paul Reiser, Aubrey Plaza, Dane DeHaan.  Worth a look if you want a horror film that isn’t really a horror film.         

Housebound

(2014)
Unpredictable Quirky, dark, and tension-filled New Zealand horror Surly young woman Sentenced to house arrest with Garrulous mother Bad turns to worse when Mother’s house may be haunted Guess crime doesn’t pay

Housebound

(2014) ****

After multiple attempts at reform have failed, Kylie is sentenced to home detention in her childhood house, now inhabited by her mom and stepfather.  Her pleasant, slightly dotty mom believes the house is haunted.  Kylie is irritated and skeptical, until unexplained events begin to pique her curiosity.

Mr. AC found this delightful horror-comedy gem from New Zealand.  It delivers genuine scares along with consistent wry humor.  The protagonist is initially unlikable, but earns our sympathy as the mysteries of the house begin to unfold.  Thoroughly satisfying.

Sin City

(2005) ****1/2

Rogues, thieves, cops, prostitutes, and murderers populate interlocking tales of mayhem, revenge, and redemption in and around Basin City.

Sin City's never been written up on the blog, and though it is noir rather than horror, I think it has enough horror elements (cannabalism, torture, gore, high body count) to be worth discussing here.  Well-cast and visually sumptuous, this faithful adaptation of three of Frank Miller's graphic novels is an over-the-top, ultraviolent thriller. It's one of those movies I can see repeatedly and never tire of; hope and assume I'm not the only fan?

13 Sins

(2014)
Truth or dare minus The truth, but for lots of cash. Still, I think I'd pass. No way I'd answer. Would have assumed it was a Telemarketer.

Cemetery Man

(1994)
Pitch black comedy Campy, surreal horror Defies description

Fists In The Pocket

 (1965)****

We join a family of crazy people having dinner, a blind mother eats while her cat shares what is on her plate while brother and sister argue and it's obvious that this whole family is unstable. Allesandro, a young member of this highly dysfunctional family who looks an awful lot like Neil Patrick Harris, decides it's time to put everyone out of their misery. NPH wants to unburden Augusto, the only seemingly sane member of the family, from the task of taking care of everyone. He begins by pushing his blind mother off a ravine.

I look like who? No way!

Oh my God, I do look like NPH!

I will embrace it, from this day forth I will be known as Doogie.

I absolutely loved this Italian classic. I happened on it by chance while searching for foreign horror. My goal this year has been to unearth some of these foreign beauties that have somehow slipped through our fingers. It was quite enjoyable watching Doogie Houser on a killing spree. It takes a while before it gets to any killing but the build up and getting to know this crazy family is really what makes this film work.

Cottage Country

(2013)***1/2
Todd and Cammie are heading to the family cottage for what is supposed to be the perfect vacation. Todd has the engagement ring and he's ready to pop the question. Unfortunately Todd's wayward brother Salinger shows up at the cottage with his Russian girlfriend messing up their plans. As a result, Todd and Salinger get into a raucous fight and in the heat of the moment Todd mindlessly swings an axe killing his brother. As Todd and Cammie attempt to cover up the crime they encounter some bumps in the road resulting in more bodies to add to the pile.

Reminded me of a blond Pauly Shore, I wanted to kill him too.

I do love a successful horror/comedy. I feel fortunate to have found so many good films this year, it's like I hit the Horrorthon lottery! The first ten or fifteen minutes of the film had me wondering if I had mistakenly picked a quirky family comedy. The tables suddenly turn with the swing of an axe and from there on out its nothing but mayhem. Really fun film.

The Den

Make your own The Den movie poster at thedenmovie.com

(2014)

If Mike Myers and Jason Learned how to write code and hack This is what you’d get. The perfect blend of Horror and technology. I’d watch it again. My Mac’s built-in cam Staring at me as I type. I turned it off, right?

The Town That Dreaded Sundown

(1976)

This film piqued my curiosity because of the fantastic Ralph McQuarrie poster art along with the ridiculously appealing movie title. Slasher aficionados must see this intriguing missing link released two years prior to Halloween and two years after Black Sunday.

The moment I pressed play I was reminded that I simply love late 70's B-movie horror. I love the look, the colors, the font in the opening credits, the overall vibe. The dead serious narration between scenes is the icing on the cake. Based on true events (more so than one would expect), the film takes place in 1946 on a border town between Texas and Arkansas. The murder of a young couple making out on Lover's Lane marks the beginning of a deadly killing spree.

The most decorated and respected ranger in the state is enlisted to solve the case. This grizzled old bastard (played by Ben Johnson, whom I'd never heard of before, but whose performance carries the movie and deserves mention) storms in and explains to the local authorities that they're doing everything wrong and enlightens them on how they should be spending their time. His plan is to lure the killer into a trap via cops pretending to be teenagers making out in cars. I did not see this coming and it made my entire weekend.

 Believe it or not this scene was based on fact. 

The killer sports a potato sac very similar to the one that Jason made fashionable in 1981's Friday the 13th Part 2. The kill scenes are chilling, one involving a trombone in particular. If I haven't sold you yet then get this - Maryanne from Gilligan's Island plays one of the victims!    

Cemetery Man

(1996) ***1/2

Francesco Dellamorte and his mostly-mute assistant Gnaghi take care of the cemetery in the small Italian town of Buffalora.  Their duties include dispatching "returners," cemetery denizens that rise from the dead to attack the living.  Francesco and Gnaghi have a comfortable if odd routine that is disrupted when their love lives and professional lives intersect.

Another interesting take on comedy/horror.  I'm glad I hung in there after the relatively slow first act, because the movie picks up once things start to get really weird. And it would be remiss to skip a shout out to the gorgeous Anna Falchi (perched above on Rupert Everett, who being gay might not have fully appreciated this job perk). If we were still handing out stars for breasts (have we grown out of that?), this movie would be *****.