(2003) ***
A common household vampire vs werewolf movie that hasn't been reviewed on the horrorthon? I see a need and I'm filling it! However, I'm guessing the reason it was never reviewed is because even though it has vampires and werewolves, even though its in the horror section of the video store (and netflix),
and even though it has good gross make up and blood, its really just an action flick. And I'm guessing you guys figured that out before I did. The only scary things are the kinda creepy mad scientist doctor (because in my opinion all creepy mad scientist doctor types are scary), Kraven's scary bad acting, his scary bad wardrobe, and the scary telephone ringing (what, it surprised me and I jumped! Leave me alone, it was the scariest part of the movie).
Underworld has a weak plot, some good acting (BIll Nighy), some bad acting (Shane Brolly as Kraven), good make up and some decent action sequences. I can't decide what I think about Underworld's use of weapons. Semiautomatics appropriate for modern warfare? Ok. Silver nitrate liquid filled bullets getting silver into the bloodstream stops werewolf/lycan regeneration? ok. Bullets filled with special ultraviolet liquid sun deadly to vampires? Well at least they glow a pretty blue through the eyes, ears and mouths when they die....
Also, an old man with IV's is not scary--I don't care how many IV's you put in him, still not scary.
9 comments:
Nice one Tami, way to call us out for missing this mainstream flick.
I've been thinking for a while that this and the Blade franchise should be tapped, so I'd say your instincts were on, Tami. It's pretty cute how you posted the Netflix listing as proof, though.
There's a whole subgenre of action movies with horror movie trappings, and when they work I don't resent it. Underworld is not one of the ones that works. I recall little of this movie save that 1) it is strangely boring for an action movie and 2) seemed to mostly consist of Kate Beckinsale bursting angrily through big double doors into dark rooms full of vampire hipsters lounging on fancy couches.
Funny review! I've ignored all the "Underword"/"Blade" material because, well, it doesn't look that much like actual horror material (and all the craziness with different kinds of bullets etc. is so silly). That "magic bullet" (LITERALLY!) concept is always bad...particularly in "Hellraiser" (which I totally hated).
I think you mean HellBLAZER, which is funny because I made the exact opposite mistake last week.
Actually I meant "Hellboy."
Nice review. I share Octopunk's opinion that this is a "boring" action film. I think we had a little tiff after we watched this movie because I forced Octo to watch another movie to try to make up for the sheer crapiness of this one. I don't recall what we watched but it was even worse and Octo was grumpy. I've never seen the sequels but you're welcome to take one for the team next year if you're game!
I agree that this and the Blade movies count as horror and think that someone should tackle them. (Not me!)
That was this movie? What's weird is I can easily recall the second movie (Uwe Boll's debut House of the Dead) but I'm fuzzy on the first. They're from the same year, so I'll go ahead and believe you.
Not a great night for horror. I do recall fading during the climax of Underworld and I definitely dozed off during House of the Dead. Guess I was channeling my inner Johnny Sweatpants.
Hey, I stayed awake through Skyline! 50P will vouch for me. (That rhymed.)
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