Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Johnny Sweatpants' Review Bomb

Before I post my Horrorthon '12 wrap-up I first need to get these off my chest. Octopunk's review bomb inspired me to address the movies I watched but didn't review this year. I'll keep this short and totally sweet!

Severance (2006) ****

A group of co-workers on a retreat in Hungary experience murder and mayhem in the forest. Worthy of attention! I loved Severance and intend to write a proper review down the road. I am very discriminating when it comes to humorous/satirical horror movies but this one found that magical balance. The promotional tag The Office meets Friday the 13th does not do it justice.

Cabin in the Woods (2011) **1/2

Conversely, Josh Whedon rubbed me the wrong way with his pop culture references as well as the overall tone of Cabin in the Woods. I respect Whedon but I don't consider him a legit horror director. However there is a lot of Horrorthon love for this movie so I feel the need to give it another chance.

Slugs (1988) **1/2

Slugs is everything you would expect based on the title and its 1988 year of release.

Lady Frankenstein (1972) **

The monster pictured above is pretty sweet but the movie is long and boring, as 1972 horror films tend to be. JPX wouldn’t last 10 minutes.

Splice (2009) ***

He's a gifted actor but I frankly don't understand Crystal's obsession.
Please peruse the reviews from Julie, Octo and Crystal because they're great and I can't be arsed to write a summary. Splice entertained me, particularly the scene where Adrien Grody got what was coming to him...

Audition (1999) *****

A wealthy widower falls in love with a beautiful woman with a mysterious past. Bad things happen in Takashi Miike's cult gem. I watched this for the first time in 7 years and loved every minute of it. This is fantastic, must-see, J-Horror at it's best. Even better than I remembered!

Inferno (1980) ***1/2

Dario Argento’s sequel to Suspiria flows more like a bad acid trip than a movie. I love it, but it's definitely not for everyone.

The Dead (2010) **

A mostly forgettable zombie flick with a couple of standout scenes.

Zombie Diaries 2 (2011) *

I don’t remember a goddang thing about this movie even after reading up on it. It most certainly did not make an impression on me. Not worthy of a screen pic let alone a review.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) ****

Rare Exports is a dark Finnish take on the myth of Santa Claus. Believe the hype. I shall watch this every December until further notice!

A Horrible Way to Die (2010) ***1/2

I watched it based on the title alone and was pleasantly surprised to find an engaging indie drama focusing on a serial killer's stalker relationship with his ex-girlfriend.

Fausto 5.0 (2001) ***1/2

A bizarre story that cannot be summed up in one sentence. Catfreeek has been trying to get me to watch this for years and I'm thankful she was persistent. I promise to review it next year!


Abduscias said...

I loved Rare Exports!! :)

Catfreeek said...

Loved Severence, Rare Exports & Audition as well.

Nice review bomb but where is Fausto 5.0? We're you just fluffing me when you told me you watched it? Explain yourself mister!

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Oh crap Cat, I totally forgot about Fausto 5.0! Crystal and I both loved it.

Crystal Math said...

Whew! It's finally over! In some ways I miss it but I'm also glad that I've got time to watch other movies like Rock of Ages and Hal Sparks: Charmageddon.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Ok I added Fausto and A Horrible Way to Die (which I totally forgot about). I was in striking distance with Crystal Math but couldn't quite keep pace. She rocked it this year. *polite golf clap* I shall have my revenge next October!

FYI - I updated Scorrorthon and the Monster List.

Catfreeek said...

Okay, I feel better now:)

AC said...

love the review bomb format, so entertaining. great mini-reviews.

i too am in the "meh" camp re cabin in the woods, and feel the need to give it another shot.

totes with you, crystal math! mr. ac and i didn't do so well with horrorthon but are watching tons of non-horror movies now. recent watches include glengarry glen ross, the station agent, brick, 40 year old virgin, and the hangover (we liked all of them).

JPX said...

Terrific wrap-up of your mini-reviews! I agree with your assessment, I can tell from the picture and the year (1972!) that I would hate Lady Frankenstein. Did I mention that I dislike horror from the late 60s until about 1976? Also, I have to agree with you about Cabin in the Woods. I was into it for a while but the "twist" annoyed me as did the characters. I probably need to give it another viewing as well.

I need to do my own review bomb!

Octopunk said...

Review bomb! So nice to see a thing take off.

Great bombing run, JSP! I'm kinda grooving on that Slugs image. Seems like the guy probably should've moved a little faster. They've got him now.

I suppose I'm glad that there are dissenting opinions on Mr. Whedon, except how can I be when you're all wrong! WRONG! No no, I get it.