Bret Easton Ellis to Adapt The Frog King

From iwatchstuff, Bret Easton Ellis, esteemed author of American Psycho, Rules of Attraction, and Less Than Zero, is writing a movie adaptation of The Frog King, which will star Joseph Gordon-Levitt from 3rd Rock From the Sun, and more recently, The Lookout.

Never heard of The Frog King? Uh, me neither.

How say you, internet?

'The Frog King follows Harry, a man of privilege who is farting around in publishing, hating the politics and pretension that surround his work. This inspires him to come in late, spike his coffee and be a general ass -- a mindset that seeps into his relationship with Evie, an editorial assistant. He wants her, but he also wants to cheat on her.'

Well I hope to God he cheats on her with a couple of hookers. Hookers that he later kills. Get writin', Bret, Daddy needs his medicine.

I also hope to God Joseph Gordon-Levitt takes the hyphen out of his name. I don't care if your mom was a hippie, pick a goddamned name. Same with those assholes from the Mars Volta. Rodriguez-Lopez? Seriously, you really needed both of those in there? Look, if you've got one ethnicity, go with one name. Having McCarthy-O'Sheas or Battaglia-Puccinis running around is just polluting the Earth with unnecessary syllables.