You know them, you love them, in fact you probably commit one or two of them every day. That's right, today we celebrate the deadly sins. Those seven little things that make life just a little more interesting. Adapted from Greek monastic theologian Evagrius of Pontus' list of 8 offenses and wicked human passions. In the late 6th century, Pope Gregory the Great reduced the list to these 7 items we've come to know and love.
Sloth. The lazy slob who avoids any kind of physical work whatsoever. He probably spends his spare time on MySpace chatting with teenage girls. You know, he's the really cool guy with the smokin' avatar.
Holy crap! I'm more Handsome then Stan!
Pride/Vanity. Self-loving, Narcissistic folks. I wonder how many of these JPX and AC see in their daily workings. Then again, they would have to tear themselves away from the mirror and actually admit they have faults.
Tell me again why the super glue was in the lube drawer?
Lust. Now with all the talk of boobs in films here I don't think I need to elaborate much on lust. Just dig deep into your past and remember some of those embarrassing teenage moments where old lust took over any coherent thought you might have had. I know you remember.
Hulk smash!
Anger. This is one green monster we've all been familiar with at one time or another.
Touch my dollies and I'll fucking wreck you.
Greed. The mother of all sins. This is the heart and soul of corporate America at it's best. I can imagine these corporate moguls beginning life as these greedy little kids who hoarded all the toys at their daycare. Probably bartering for possession of souls.
Greed. The mother of all sins. This is the heart and soul of corporate America at it's best. I can imagine these corporate moguls beginning life as these greedy little kids who hoarded all the toys at their daycare. Probably bartering for possession of souls.
57 comments:
i'd write a haiku
but just can't be bothered now
project runway's on
Money's useless in
an alien invasion
try bribing those guys
Why do the fat chicks
karaoke "I'm hot" songs?
misplaced vanity
i'd write a haiku
the best one ever written
cuz i'm just that good
I always thought that
Teenage lust was worse on boys
something just popped up
I’m window shopping
My reflection catches me
Goddamn, I’m sexy
The odds against her
but Oprah beat gluttony
then lost again
The pope is a dope
Without lust we’d be extinct
Not to mention dull
If done the pope's way
sex only to procreate
don't dare enjoy it
Envy is for fools
Jealousy gets you nowhere
Read a fucking book
Of the seven sins
Greed bugs the hell out of me
enough is enough
Hoarding all they grab
always wanting more and more
total waste of life
Never enjoying
always afraid to lose out
taking from people
If they stop to think
hoarding is useless at death
can't take it with them
Dante's Inferno
seven sins layered through hell
I'd just stop at lust
Just think about it
one sin leads to another
must be addictive
Sloth feels really good
Take pills to revel in it
More Saturdays please
Most sins we indulge
Gluttony - most shunned
Too many diet products
i'd write a haiku
but it's early bird special
at county buffet
i'll write a haiku
after i murder gretchen
bitch missed stan's birthday
i'd write a haiku
but i'm on the "T" watching
hot young men commute
what's all this sin talk
agnostics and atheists
just reap what we sow
What's all this reap talk
Agnostics and atheists
Get away with it
This party's boring
But check out this huge buffet
Ooh shrimp! Nom nom nom
Where is JPX?
Sitting on his lazy ass
I should bitch slap him
Where is 50 Page?
Whoring around town no doubt
Yes I am jealous
Where is Handsome Stan?
Staring into the mirror
While stuffing his face
Vanity tells me
Must spray this stuff all over
No more smell
...
...
my butt
They're only "deadly"
If Kevin Spacey finds you
Paltrow's head in box
Deadly sins feel GREAT
Problem is the adjective
7 AWESOME Sins
Proud of my envy
Greedy for more sex and food
Angry at naptime
Stan is so awesome
seven sins in one Haiku
I'm so envious
i'd write a haiku
but there's a shoe sale at saks
my 500th pair
i'd write a haiku
but i'm jealous of octo
who writes better ones
i envy tall folks
who can see and be seen in
crowds and at concerts
Where are the thonners
having no time to Haiku?
Busy with Aspray?
Where are the thonners
having no time to Haiku?
At all day buffet?
Where are the thonners
having no time to Haiku?
All out stalking girls?
Where are the thonners
having no time to Haiku?
Watching some T.V.?
Where are the thonners
having no time to Haiku?
Making hoards of cash?
Or are they feeling
envy for haiku's written
by other thonners?
Grrrr...just don't make me
angry, you wouldn't like me
when I am angry
Dwarves or Deadly Sins
There's always one you forget
Oh yeah - "Doc" and "Pride"
Dwarves or Deadly Sins
There's ones you never forget
Like "Lust" and "Dopey"
If dwarves are the sins
so what does that make Snow White?
Virtue or Satan?
Trek picked the right sin
Cuz "The Gluttony of Khan"
Would not be pleasant
i'm not that greedy
except for concerts, massage,
and fabulous food.
guess i am greedy
not materialistic
but greedy as hell
i love handsome stan
and it was just his birthday
but he spoiled "seven"
for horrorthonners
the eighth deadly sin must be
spoilers sans warnings
Stan's right about Khan
"The Grapes of Sloth" is as bad
Since it means sloth balls
Vader: Luke's father
Crying Game: it's not a chick
sixth Sense: Willis is dead
Stan II: Wrath of 'Thon
Spoilers begat deadly sins
Well, anger at least
My cell phone just sucks
My patient has an iPhone
I hate my patient
Least favorite patients?
That's easy, narcissism
No, you're not that great!
Why is "pride" a sin?
Won a Chicago album
I was pretty proud
Gluttony's a sin?
Ate large bag of candy corn
True, my teeth did hurt
Want to see no pride
And plenty of gluttony?
Just go to Walmart
Changing sins can work
switched up to "12 Lustful Men"
turns drama to porn
sex the "other" way
with your girlfriend's hot sister
can't say no to that
wrath on the highway
i swear, it's not my fault, lord
drive faster, fucktard!
haiku about sloth
just don't feel like finishing
how could you stand it?
life without my pretty face
bet you'd rather die.
Sequel to Goonies
Kids are grown up and hate blacks
Sloth and Predjudice
greed, envy? the same
what does that say about god?
glutton for sinners
i've got a sixth sense
handsome stan is bruce willis
(as in, dead to me)
HansdomeStan's so vain
he probably thinks this hai-
ku is about him.
But I've often said
"You're So Vain" is about me.
I'm cuter then Stan
You callin' me sloth?
I'll show you!....on second thought,
think I'll take a nap.
Tough to be slothful
with young kids running around.
I do my best though!
Envy or Anger
that makes me hope your Lexus
gets keyed by some punk?
Gluttony you say?
Shut-up and pass me that tube
of raw cookie dough.
Is it more sinful
To binge on devil's food cake
Or angel food cake?
He's angry and proud
Self-satisfied and greedy
george w. bush
The three-toed tree sloth
Creeping through the canopy
Don't seem so sinful
sorrow once was sin
how very helpful: "cheer up,
or go straight to hell!"
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
Want your stuff. And fucked your wife.
I'm fat, lazy, proud
"Deadly" sins, you say?
I'd like to be killed by Lust
What a way to go
Hey, that chick is hot!
Why is my boner bigger
And bigger...and...AAAAACK!!!
While he's unemplyed:
Stan LIVES Gluttony and Sloth
And it's fucking great
Sloth leads to typos
Pride leads to not spell-checking
Lust leads to porno
Cover me in cake
Lie me on a bed of gold
And do me. That's three.
I'm better than you,
So why do you have money?
And I don't? That's two.
Crap two more to go?
Can't someone else write them up?
I'm going to bed.
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