Clive Barker's Salome/The Forbidden

(1973)*1/2

Two short films that Clive Barker put together in film school. Introduced by a woman dressed like a black chicken, this is one weird assemblance of film. The black chicken lady tells us all about the films we are about to watch. She does so while tongue kissing another oddly dressed female and flashing close up shots of naked breasts with weird colored nipples.


This intro strangely makes sense when you figure out that the two films are dialog free and loaded with genital obsession. Pardon my crappy pictures but I couldn't find any pictures online so I had to snap a few shots off my tv.


I wish I could tell you what the films were really about but they just appeared to be exactly what they were, film school projects. You can see some of Barker's talent and creepiness in the use of shadow and light. Both shorts are black and white and one of them has a lot of scenes inverted to negative.



Basically the whole sordid mess was 78 minutes of what the fuck is going on in this thing. Barker and Doug Bradley(Pinhead) also star in the films. My advice, leave this one on the shelf.

Ghosts Don't Exist

(2010)**1/2

A television ghost hunter is pushed by his network into doing one more show before retiring. He takes on a house that the owner claims is being haunted by the ghost hunter's dead wife. He brings a cameraman, assistant and a noted skeptic along on the investigation. Shortly after they arrive the house owner shoots himself in the head. Unbelievably they stay on to complete the investigation with his stinking, brain splattered corpse still sitting where it lays. The haunting proves to be real and the team is in for a disturbing weekend.
This film had a lot of promise but it appears they got over indulgent with the plot. They try to incorporate too many side stories and general weirdness without focusing on the ghosts. Had they simply made this all about the haunting it could have been scary as hell. Instead it's just a confusing mess of strangeness. Too bad, I was really routing for it after the intense beginning.

Don't Go to Sleep

(1982) TVM ***1/2

Mary thinks there is something alive under her bed.
Mary is right!"

Following the death of their eldest daughter Jennifer from a horrific car fire, Philip and Laura (Rhoda) move their family into a new home for a fresh start. Soon after the move middle daughter Mary begins having visions of Jennifer late at night. Jennifer is apparently angry about her untimely demise and she begins to instruct Mary on how to murder the remainder of their family members that include a younger sister and brother, their parents, and a cranky grandmother. Mary’s method of murder includes a series of “accidents”, which prove to be quite effective. Will Laura figure things out before it’s too late?


Kill them all!

Is Mary taking instructions from the ghost of her deceased sister or is she just a bad seed? The film will keep you guessing to the end and that’s a good thing. This was one of the better made-for-television movies that I checked out this year. The big reveal during the climax of the film took me by surprise and the actress who plays the little girl Mary is just terrific as an unhinged sociopath (or is she?). This is also the first time I have ever seen a pizza cutter used as a weapon. Catfreeek reviewed this one and observed that the kids were little brats. I completely agree with her assessment. Don’t Go to Sleep is an effective little chiller with a surprisingly high body count.

Night of the Creeps

(1986) ***1/2


JPX & Fiddy already tackled this gem and I agree with everything they said. I also agree with several things they didn’t say.

Yes, Night of the Creeps is yet another 80's zombie movie but it sets itself apart from its peers with a careful blend of humor and horror and it carefully pays homage to classic B-movies. I was a bit skeptical during the opening sequence involving a group of rubber aliens firing lasers on a spaceship but once the story settles in, the loving tribute to Night of the Living Dead, Plan 9 from Outer Space and countless sci-fi/horror drive-in movie classics makes it pretty irresistible to gentlemen such as myself.

The characters are typical. Chris Romero is the shy, reluctant hero that finds courage when faced with adversity. Cynthia Cronenberg is the wholesome and naïve love interest who allows herself to be mistreated by her frat-boyfriend. 50P frame-grabbed this magnificent son of a bitch in full dickhead mode and I simply must repost it. Keep in mind that he’s in the middle of saying “So let me get this straight. You guys think you’re Beta material? [derisive snort]”

Inducted in the Douche Bag Hall of Fame next to the blond guy from the original Karate Kid.

Other colorful characters include determined Detective Cameron and Chris's wisecracking chum JC. The plot is set in motion when Chris and JC release a corpse from suspended animation as part of a fraternity prank. The body awakens as a slug-spitting, highly contagious blood thirsty zombie. The beauty of zombies filled with alien slugs lies in the method needed to dispose of them. The only way to destroy these mofos is to follow up the standard bullet to the head with a flamethrower to prevent the festering slugs from finding a new host.

(= BONUS POINTS)

Night of the Creeps is clever and a helluva lotta fun to watch. Before the zombies even appeared to crazy up the place, I was already hooked. It's goofy and most certainly not a classic but if you have a fondness for 80's swag then its worth your time.

Raw Meat

(1972)**

The film opens explaining that a construction accident occurred around the turn of the century trapping several people in the tunnels of London. The workers were presumed dead and the rescue was called off. Years later people are being abducted by a cannibalistic freak who lives in the tunnels. A young couple, Alex and Tricia, get separated while riding the subway. Tricia never arrives at home and Alex freaks out and goes to the police who are of no help at all. He then ventures into the subway to find her himself.

You'd think with a setting like this:

and images like this:

Something very suspenseful must be happening here, right? Well there should be suspense and there probably would be suspense if it weren't for these two guys:

Meet the worst detectives in London. Jibbering on and on like two old housewives. Drinking instead of investigating. Laughing about their mundane lives. I doubt they could find a nun in a convent.

Missing person you say? Well I just need to finish up my tea first.

Meanwhile back at the freak cave...

I think I'll eat her liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

Way too much useless dialog, it was hard to stay awake. I read that this film has a small cult following. I will not be joining that cult.

The Eclipse

(2009)**1/2

This bleak and slow moving ghost story is more drama than horror. A novelist begins seeing the ghost of his deceased wife among others in his seaside Irish villa. He connects with a female writer and confides in her. There is little resolve. A good film to watch on a dark and rainy day but it is sorely misleading categorized as a supernatural thriller. The ghosts are barely a distraction, the main focus of the film is really the slowly building relationship between the two writers. I liked the story but the supernatural is minimal and the thriller never delivered.

Thirst

(2008)***

Aspiring model Atheria and her boyfriend Tyson head to the remote section of a desert so Tyson can take some stellar shots of Atheria to jumpstart her career. Along for the ride are Bryon and his crabby girlfriend Noelle. Unbeknownst to everyone, medical student Noelle is pregnant and would just assume remain back at the hotel. Byron just thinks that she’s a killjoy out to ruin all the fun. After many hours in the oppressive heat Tyson suggests going even further out into the barren region. Swerving to avoid a wolf Tyson crashes his SUV into a deep ditch effectively destroying the car and dooming the quartet to an early grave. With limited water and resources survival appears unlikely. Adding to the stress Atheria appears to have a concussion from the accident and she is behaving peculiarly.


I'm gonna make you a star, baby!

Ah the predicament movie! I watched Frozen earlier a few weeks prior to this so it seems fitting that I would stumble upon Thirst, which is the exact opposite predicament. Like other predicament films you must buy into the set of circumstances/coincidences necessary for the victims to get into their predicament in the first place. In Thirst we are first shown the characters drinking tons of alcohol the night before, which would make them thirstier, of course. On the day of their trip they hang “Do not disturb” signs on their hotel room doors so the maids won’t rob them. This makes their disappearance even less detectable. Oh, their cell phones don’t receive signals, of course. You might also find yourself asking, “Why would they need to drive off the beaten path in the desert to take photographs, doesn’t it all look pretty much the same?” If you’re able to overlook all this silliness than you’re in for a marginal treat.


I've got a bad feeling about this

Sure it’s all ludicrous and derivative; you might want to watch it with a checklist so you can mark off the inevitable cliché’s; (1) campfire confessionals, check! (2) The blame game, check! (3) Long montages of our characters making it through yet another day, check! (4) Dehydrated hallucinations check! (5) Gross ‘solutions’ check! You get the idea. Despite its many shortcomings I enjoyed Thirst. I readily acknowledge that I have a heavy bias towards this sub-genre of horror and thus I tend to oversell these movies, but like a major car accident I just can’t look away.

Dark Remains

(2005)***

A couple go from one living hell to another. Following the vicious murder of their daughter, the grieving couple, Allan and Julie, retreat to the mountains for solace. Their peaceful escape is disrupted when they discover their new home is haunted by some really pissed off spirits. Julie starts seeing the ghosts hanging out in an old abandoned prison that is near their mountain home. She starts snapping pictures of them like a mad woman which begins to worry Allan. He in turn stumbles onto some interesting history that may have the answers to the whole sordid ordeal.


Heavily atmospheric with some really impressive cinematography. I wish the acting had been up to the caliber of the rest of the film. That's really my only gripe. I would imagine that budget constraints prevented hiring better actors since it seems the bulk of the budget went into settings and effects. Worth watching, one of the better mid range ghost flicks I've seen this year.

The Strange and Deadly Occurrence

(1974) TVM **

In a hasty decision Michael Rhodes purchases a large farmhouse in the country. It seems that Michael, a burnt out tax attorney, is tired of the 24/7 city life that his job requires and the idyllic countryside setting appears to provide the perfect respite from the day to day drudgery that life typically offers. Along for his selfish journey is his wife, Christine and daughter, Melissa. It’s not too long before Michael realizes that perhaps he should have had a building inspector take a look at the place before purchasing his new abode. The electricity is shoddy, the plumbing is iffy, and the entire place is overrun with gophers and to make things worse Melissa begins have terrible nightmares. Soon the family dog is found dead in the horse stables for no discernible reason.


Is this the POV of a ghost?

After some digging Melissa learns that a former owner of the house was driven insane after his wife died from Typhoid Fever. It has been said that sometimes in the dark of night you can still hear him calling out to her. Worse, the previous owner of their house, a reverend, drowned in the family swimming pool. Is the Rhodes family being haunted or do the shifty-eyed townsfolk just want them out of there?



The Strange and Deadly Occurrence effectively keeps its answers close to its vest. Throughout we are offered red herrings and hauntings but the reality of the situation isn’t revealed until the film is forced to show its hand. This might be the film’s greatest drawback given that the “conclusion” is a pretty big letdown. Still the film serves as a good example of mid-Seventies made-for-television horror.

The Reflecting Skin

1990 ****1/2

The Reflecting Skin is a movie that will live in your memories as a beautiful, dark gem; polished and captivating but so, so dark. It takes place in rural Idaho in the 1950s, and follows young Seth Dove, nearly nine, as some colossal turning points in his life roll over him.

I can go no further without mentioning the stunning beauty repeatedly captured by the camera. I can't tell if the cinematographer's gaze is a loving gaze or if he's just showing off, but these moving Andrew Wyeth paintings are so bewitching I just don't care. The entire movie takes place amidst solitary houses and dusty roads all surrounded by an endless sea of wheat.

On one such dusty road Seth and his friends pull an amusing prank involving an inflated frog and a slingshot, targeting the creepy widow they believe to be a witch, or maybe a vampire.

Seth's mother makes him go to her house to apologize, and then my favorite part of the movie happens. In broad daylight, under a perfect cornflower-blue sky, Seth approaches this unassuming farmhouse like he was walking into Mordor.

The filmmaking right here is just magic; the scenery is off a postcard in the giftshop for the American Heartland, but the mood comes from some dark, murky hallway in the middle of the night. The golden wheat is not describing vastness, it's isolating you, closing you in.

The landscape echoes its inhabitants. Every person in this movie has something inky in their core: a distorted nature, a horrible secret, a heavy kernel of doom. For some people it's right on the surface, like Seth's abusive wreck of a mother, for the rest it only takes a small bit of conversation. When Seth meets the widow, she brushes off the frog bomb, saying it was her dress she was really upset about, and that she used to do the same sort of thing as a kid. "Have you ever tied fireworks to a cat's tail?" she asks. "Ooh, you ought to. They go crazy."

I don't want to say much about the plot, which is sparse but not lacking. I will share a couple of details. Seth and his friend find a baby angel in the loft of the church where they like to hang out. Seth takes it home and hides it under the bed, pulling it out at night to confide in it. Yeah, it's an aborted baby. This plot point has no explanation and no impact on the story, except to provide Seth with a sidekick. And be gross.

Midway through the movie Seth's older brother Cameron comes home from service in the Pacific. He's played by a young and hunkalicious Viggo Mortensen (and he shows his butt! Ladies...).

In the scene above, Seth greets Cam on the road. Cam stops, looks around at the panorama of gold and blue, sighs dejectedly and says "It's so ugly here."

Of course my first thought was how wrong that was, and how his words must be reflecting his complex relationship with his origins. When the movie was over I thought "no, he's absolutely right."

I dinged this a half star off perfect because it's one of those art house movies that can't help be a little too art house at times (no passes for being made in 1990). Also, watching it this time I noticed a handful of scenes that were a bit beyond the acting chops of Jeremy Cooper, the kid playing Seth. But these are small potatoes, I recommend this to all of you.

Castle of Blood

(1964)***1/2

While Edgar Allan Poe is visiting London, he is approached by journalist Alan Foster, who desperately wants to interview him. In exchange Foster agrees to a wager proposed by Poe's friend Sir Thomas Blackwood that he cannot spend an entire night in the Blackwood's haunted castle.


This particular night is all souls night and he is informed that anyone who has tried before has died. He accepts heartily finding the old man's warning laughable. Once he enters the abandoned castle, Foster discovers that he is not alone.


Through the night he is bewitched by a beautiful woman, witnesses murder and is terrorized by vampire like beings. He meets a doctor who explains they are all lost souls doomed to replay their own deaths over and over. He urgently needs to get out before he is forced to join them.


This is based on Poe's Danse Macabre and a fine job Italian director Antonio Margheriti did. It's all about tone in these old films. Mood set by shadows and light and a great creepy old place just seals the deal.