Rabies

(2010) ****1/2

This awesome recommendation from JSP has everything we’ve come to love in a great horror flick. There is suspense, humor, unexpected plot twists, blood & gore and a decent helping of pipe-in-the-ass as well. I can even add it to my list of films with tongue wagging (bleheheheh) thanks to the nagging wife in the car towards the end. It begins with a couple in the woods, the woman has gotten herself caught in a trap and you think you have a pretty good idea where the film will go from here, I thought I did anyway but this is not a slasher in the woods film by far. We then join two young couples on an outing and still I thought, slasher in the woods is gonna kill young people, right? Nope, think again. This film takes a number of unexpected turns and never misses a beat in the process. It’s a fast paced intelligent horror flick that will keep you on your toes the entire time. That’s all I want to say for fear of giving too much away, if you liked Severance you will love Rabies, its not near as goofy but has the same feel to it. Great find JSP I’d say I owe you one but I think I’ve covered that debt already.

Sinister

 (2012) ***

Writer of true crime books Ellison Oswalt and his family move into a notorious murder house so he can research his next book. Right from the beginning strange things are happening to him while his wife, ignorant to these things has no idea that they are living in the actual house. Ellison finds a box in the attic containing some old super 8 films and a projector. He discovers that the films contain footage of the actual murder as well as 3 other families being murdered. He spots a shadowy figure with a creepy face in a couple of the films and begins investigating the connection between the murders. As he delves deeper into it he realizes he’s neck deep into something he should never have poked into.

I’m happy to say that this film actually does have some genuine scares in it. The overall ambiance is truly sinister so the name is very appropriate. The found footage films are the most spine-chilling part of the film and they keep going back to them. We are taken along with Ellison into that creepy icky feeling of watching something we shouldn’t be watching. He knows he should just turn the films over to the cops but he is blindsided by the dollar signs he is seeing upon the release of his new book. The film loses some steam as the mystery is revealed, better usage of the creepy faced Mr. Boogie would have suited me. Still, it has some truly chilling moments and was better than I’ve come to expect of recently done horror. 

Zombie Prom 2012: Circus of Horrors

I couldn't wait to post this Post-Thon. I am still riding on a high from the atmosphere, gross costumes, and delightful drinks available at this year's Zombie Prom. I strongly believe that Zombie Prom is the third best thing I have ever encountered in my life (the second being the Stitches West knitting convention at Santa Clara, CA; the first being my favorite campsite, Kangaroo Lake located about two hour's drive northeast of Weed, CA). You might remember that last year JSP and I were unstoppable as KISS zombies.

This year I drew my inspiration from a screenshot of v/h/s reviewed by our own Trevor and JPX. Even thought I missed my chance to view it in theaters I still admired (and was terrified) of this character:

Just looking at her terrifies me!

Looking at me terrifies me!

Zombie Prom's theme for its 4th year was Circus of Horrors. As JSP stated to me before he was determined to dress as Shivers the clown from some terrible evil-clown movie he reviewed last year, and what impeccable timing that turned out to be! I got some great tips from Catfreeek about how to pull off the v/h/s look.

JSP preparing his "Shivers" look.

Complete.

A zombie go-go girl and an evil clown for a drummer; what more could one ask for?

Stuck in a hall of mirrors.

JSP took a little too much pleasure in hand-buzzing everyone he came across with.

I also need to mention here that we had been taking Swing Dance lessons to be properly prepared for the amazing live music presented to us that evening by Slim Jenkins. I'd heard the band play a few times before when I had come to Verdi Club for their regular Tuesday night Swing. We got a fair share of dances in while mingling with the crowd and taking photos. The attendance was superb as were the costumes -- they just keep getting better and better every year!

"Oh dear that's messy... Perhaps I could get you a moist towlette?"

A family reunion?

Hobo Clown sighting.

These two were absolutely disgusting but so much fun to hang out with!

The zombie in the green dress was wearing a necklace which consisted of her own severed finger (from an auto accident). The zombie rabbit in the middle ended up winning, though.

Next year I propose flying Catfreeek out here for a unique, amazing experience! Any LA-LA Land people should make the Thon pilgrimmage up to the Bay for this exciting event, too. Just sayin'.

Lady Death & Blood: The Last Vampire -- A look at horror at the drawing-desk

I wanted to explore what "animated horror" consisted of this year in answering my own curious queries about what makes us wake up screaming in the night, assuming we were able to sleep in the first place.

First of all, with animation one needn't worry about crappy CGI jobs or bad casting decisions. Second, nobody needs to clear a set for filming or direct a bunch of incompetent divas. Best of all, I can count on one hand the number of animated films that drag on and on -- inversely, I can count on one hand the number of live-action films that don't. Aside from this, animated horror is vulnerable to any other criticism as any other horror movie.

The two animated horror features I've chosen are Lady Death, an American origin story based upon a comic book character of the same name, and Blood: The Last Vampire, a Japanese anime based upon a single-volume manga (which is the best type of manga, if you ask me). Blood is not an origin story but both of these feature strong female lead characters.

Lady Death 
(2004) ** 1/2

A native of 15th century Sweden, Hope is the devout Christian daughter of a powerful general who takes great pleasure in abusing his power. He is also Lucifer in disguise, and once he shows his true form and vanishes to Hell, Hope is condemned to being burned at the stake for associating with him. All she has ever asked for is to see her lover Niccolo, but it becomes quickly apparent that her life will never be the same again once she is hurled headfirst into Hell by two winged demons -- truly, a badass animated sequence.

LD's trustworthy steed is pretty badass, too.

The animation style conjured memories of watching the animated series of both Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and X-Men in the '90s, and admittedly that ruined a bit of the "horror" element for me. Regardless, both the storytelling and topic struck me as unique so I'll extend my recommendation. The one thing that did bug me, though, was wondering Where does one go after one dies in Hell?

Blood: The Last Vampire
(2000) ****

I bumped this up from 3 1/2 stars because I craved more Blood after it was over! A 43-minute anime horror tale of Vietnam era Japan featuring vampires and worse, chiropterans.

Just what the hell IS a chiropteran, you say? Well, how would I know?! Oh yeah, 'cause I saw it. But I still don't feel like I know everything.

There's no back story provided for Saya (the last "original" vampire) or the chiropterans. The benefit is that we are spared any cheesy flashbacks of a time when life was easier and people weren't being eaten alive by hellish demons. Unfortunately, we are also left in the dark and must sit along for the ride like a hostage left to the director's whims.

A snapshot of Elvira in high school? Nah, just a demon and a girl.

As a fan of vampire movies like Underworld, I whole-heartedly recommend Blood. There's also a live-action version of the film, reviewed by Catfreeek.

La Casa Muda

 (2010) ***

On JPX’s recommendation I watched only the Spanish version of this film. Wilson and his daughter Laura go to and old farmhouse to fix it up for sale. Laura starts hearing noises upstairs and sends her father to check it out. He returns shoved into her bloody, bound and unconscious, presumably dead. Laura starts freaking out and does some investigating herself; she eventually makes it out of the house and runs to the road where she finds Nestor, her father’s friend, on his way to the house. The two return to the house for more searching.

This is one of those times I wished they hadn’t said based on a true story in the beginning. The true story aspect hanging over my head made me think there was some logical conclusion for everything and kind of deadened my hope in a supernatural phenomenon. There are some truly scary parts to this film, in particular one scene in which Laura’s light gets broken and the only light she has is the sporadic flash of a camera she found. You know there is going to be something scary in one of those light flashes and you try to be ready for it but when it finally comes it still gives you the willies. I did have an issue with all the crying, I get that she was scared and all but for fuck’s sake I just wanted the bitch to shut up. Still, kudos to JPX for jumping on the original, as well as the American remake and giving a heads up on the better of the two. I have no intention to watch the remake.

At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul

(1963) *****

The thing about Catfreeek is that for every 15 zombie slut vomit films she reviews, she invariably unearths one diamond in the rough like Santa Sangre, Antichrist, Martyrs or the Brazilian At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul. I’ll let you (or Crystal or Trevor) do the math but seeing how Cat averages roughly 11 movies per day, her chances of striking gold are reasonably high.

Coffin Joe is a special kind of rotten bastard. I knew from the opening seconds of the movie that this man deserved some prime real estate up on the Horrorthon banner. (Can you locate him?) His first two lines “What is life? It’s just the beginning of death” set the tone flawlessly. And if there’s one thing Coffin Joe knows about, it’s death. So just how cruel is this guy? Well, he kills his wife with a horrific venomous spider after learning of her infertility. The last words he utters to her are rather insensitive: “I’ll have the honor of seeing you die before my eyes”. He then murders his trusting “friend” so that he can move in on his fiancée Terezinha, leaving the poor woman with two simple options - submission or suicide. Take a guess as to which one she chooses? The rest of the movie follows his unyielding quest to find a woman worthy (he doesn’t care if she’s willing) to carry his child.

Did I mention that he’s an evil prick? He is the kind of atheist that gives atheists a bad name, looking down upon religious people with complete and utter contempt. He bullies, threatens and insults virtually every man, woman and child he comes into contact with. Hell, he bullies an entire bar full of people on numerous occasions. Most of the townsfolk know better than to stand up to a bearded undertaker sporting a cape, top hat and crazy eyes but those who dare to suffer swift and severe punishment. This generally includes but is not limited to a humiliating beatdown, disfigurement and death.

Frankly I cannot remember life before Coffin Joe. If there is more accurate embodiment of pure evil then I have yet to see it. While watching At Midnight I'll Take Your Soul, I felt that same soul tingle that I get when I stumble into an awesome old band with a back catalog that I can't wait to explore.



The Coffin

 (2008) ***

According to the Thai custom, to cheat death a person must lay in a coffin for an evening to experience what death will be like. A woman follows this tradition when she is diagnosed with cancer. She later goes to the doctor and discovers her cancer is gone. That same day she receives the news that her fiancée has died in a fatal car crash, she immediately begins seeing his ghost. After looking into it more closely she discovers that cheating death comes with a price. Several other people who have gone through the ritual were cured but also lost someone close to them immediately after although they were not pursued by their spirits. She hears of one other case where his wife and child were haunting a man and she seeks him out. Together they try to find a way to release their loved ones spirits.

I had heard of this film some time ago and the concept interested me. The story is slow moving but very intriguing. There are some really creepy moments as the ghost seems to actually want her to die as well. He actually lures her into a crematorium at one point and she unwisely follows him straight into the oven where she narrowly escapes her demise. This is an English speaking Thai film, not dubbed, which I also found interesting. If you like these slow burners than this should appeal to your tastes.

Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy

(1955) *

The classic comedy duo bored me to sleep, not once, not twice, but four times. 

I had great intentions of starting off Horrorthon 2012, nice and strong with a long list of mummy movies. Oct 1st, however, I found myself bending to my inner biddy and starting my mummy-tastic list with the least scary option Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy.  A&C are in Egypt with missing professors, mistaken identities, trading burgers until Costello eats the medallion hidden in his,  and of course the mummy (mummies at some point). Now I don't know about you guys, but I have this thing sometimes where I need to finish what I start before moving on to the next thing, in this case horrorthon flicks.  I told myself I would finish this flick before moving on with my mummy list.  It took me four attempts to make it through the movie.  At least I'm pretty sure I made it through the movie, so many repeating gags and jokes mixed with falling asleep, it became a little hard to tell when I was repeating portions or jumped ahead but found the same gag re-used. This flick changed my plan for a thon year dedicated to all the monsters A&C have met (I think it includes Frankenstein, Dracula, the Wolfman, the Invisible Man, the Mummy, Dr. Jekyll, and Mr Hyde). I guess I just don't have a penchant for slapstick, especially not this overly predictable version. My grandmother hitting me in the theater for not enjoying a predictable slapstick scene in Small Time Crooks was in contrast surprising and hilarious. I tend to remember that moment and smile every time I see slapstick, which means that the while the classic comedy duo bored me to sleep multiple times, I did fall asleep smiling each time.

Nightmares in Red White and Blue: The Evolution of the American Horror Film

(2009) *** 1/2

If ever a documentary was targeted at this blog, right?

I was talking to a student this morning about his research project in a class I'm teaching, and he's looking into why people seem to enjoy the discomfort that comes with watching horror movies. He said he'd gotten the idea from this documentary, and I thought it sounded like a nice change of pace for me this Thon. It totally was.

It's basically a chronological history of the genre, starting with the early influence of the German imports in the 1920s, up through the classic monster period, then film noir, all the way up through the slashers of the 70s and the ultra-violent torture flicks of today. And they got the rights to seemingly everything, so all the way through, we're treated to clips--it's a total blast seeing all this stuff mashed together.

Also throughout, they splice in snippets of interviews with 5-6 horror directors. John Carpenter and George Romero get a lot of screen time, which is nice, but there's also a lot with guys I didn't know--at the end I realized one of them is the director of Saw II. Anyway, they're variously insightful and interesting (some not so much), and the documentary producers have shaped their interviews into a sort of thematic argument about how American horror movies consistently reflect whatever's happening at a given time in the culture.

So there's a lot of not particularly revelatory stuff like mentioning Invasion of the Body Snatchers and communism, or Dawn of the Dead and consumerism, but none of them are dwelt on too long, so it's not pedantic or anything. It comes across as interesting musings, some of which you've heard before, some you haven't. And of course, some are overblown and silly, and some are overly serious about silly movies. But they don't last long.

But back to the clips and all that fun. It struck me as I was watching this how much more I appreciated this due to Horrorthon. Everyone knows the main enjoyment of all clip mashups is seeing how many you can recognize, and it was fun to realize just how many of the ones I recognized were directly tied to reviews I'd written for this blog.

Another cool thing was how many titles and clips get thrown at you that you don't know, but now want to. I feel like I should have been taking notes, as I kept mentally building a "to watch" list, thinking I'd remember them all. Of course, even now, 20 minutes after watching it, I barely remember any.

I'm giving this one 3 1/2 stars because I think it's a fun, well crafted documentary, but it does ultimately feel a bit like "film school lite." Not in a bad way, just not in a way that anything ever blew me away the way the best documentaries can sometimes do. Still, I think you'd all dig this.

Blood Was Everywhere

 (2012) *1/2

A rogue slasher is milling about town randomly hacking up the locals.

It so pains me to deliver this rating to this film. Having worked on a nil budgeted independent film, I know the time and effort that goes into it. I was given this film at Rock n Shock by an awesome group of enthusiastic local filmmakers and I promised to review it for them. Last night Abduscias and I popped this in the dvd player with hopes of finding some real local talent and sadly the film was a bore fest. Perhaps if it had been done as a short instead of stretching it out to feature length then it could have been fun. There are numerous scenes of locals just chatting, at the drug dealer’s house, at the bar, in the kitchen, etc. The dialog is casual and uninteresting. It was as if someone set up cameras all over town on a boring weekday and just recorded people conversing. Somewhere in the middle of the film the timeline changes without warning and the people who were dead are now alive and we get to see them hanging out at the bar together having a boring time. I also have to say the film would be better titled as Blood Shows Up Occasionally. Seriously, if you are going to name the film Blood Was Everywhere then dammit blood better be flowing like a raging river. The actual slasher scenes were few and far between all the boring conversations. Even when the slasher hit, we were hoping for spraying, spurting, walls being splattered but instead we got slow leakage.

Sigh, I’m sorry local filmmakers I really wanted to like it. I hope that my honesty serves you well in a future endeavor, keep plugging and chugging.

The Fly

(1958) ****1/2

From the start, you already know it's not going to end well - as Crystal Math pointed out in her review. The Fly is told almost entirely in flashback, and after it's already been confirmed that the man with his head and arm crushed flat-as-flat-can-be in the hydraulic press is indeed Andre Delambre. One of the most powerful magic tricks the film is able to pull off is stoking our hope throughout the flashback. And even beyond, there's the nagging hope that somehow things might get set right somehow. But that's all I have to say about that.

This is the first time I've ever seen this version. I chased it with a screening of the 1986 Cronenberg remake (which I had seen as a kid), and was thoroughly impressed with the level of subtext in both. Again, nod to Crystal, she's not overinterpreting the business about the lonely life of a scientist's wife. For what it's worth though, the...thing that's above the subtext...what would you call that? Oh -- the *text*. That. Anyway, the *text* of Helene Delambre's character is that she's married to (pretty definitively) the world's greatest scientist. Sure, life's gotta be lonely only seeing your beloved when you're bringing him his dinner. But she's obviously starstruck by his brilliance - understandably so. They're pretty young, so who knows where that relationship would have gone a decade later? Not covered in The Fly, but covered pretty well in Coldplay's The Scientist.

But that wasn't what really got me. What really got me was the question of what sort of battle is going on for the mind and soul of the Delambrefly. Who exactly is calling the shots up there? And how rapidly is power changing...hands? The most colorful portrayal of this interplay is literally a struggle between Andre's fly hand and his human hand. The fly hand seems to act without Andre's conscious will -- which maybe isn't so strange because it's the *fly's* head (and brain?) at the top of Andre's body. Look at the picture above. Moments earlier, Andre's fly hand had drifted up to join his human hand in caressing Helene's sleeping face. So, in that moment, was that Andre in control and absentmindedly touching her with both hands? Or is it the fly's, what? Lust?

Ick.

Anyway, Andre struggles to keep the fly side of his split psyche down, and then gives up when it finally becomes clear to him that his human side is losing. But check out which hand is trying to run interference on the other when Andre sets about destroying his work...

I love that. I don't even understand it and I love it. Maybe it's the fly saying, "Fuck you, Delambre. You're going to put me back in my real body. Stop making that impossible." Maybe it's just that flies are crazy and difficult. Who knows? That topic gets delved into more deeply (and brilliantly so) in Cronenberg's film. But that's not to take anything away from the original. It doesn't get the reverence extended to Dracula and Frankenstein, but it has earned the right to be mentioned in the same sentence.