Wednesday, March 21, 2007

And a collective yawn is heard around the world

From Iwatchstuff, "According to The Hollywood Reporter, Alpha Dog's Emile Hirsch is in talks to take the starring role in the Wachowski Brothers' adaptation of Speed Racer. The anime promises to translate well to live-action because it's absurd concept about a fantastic car full of crazy devices, a character named Racer X, and a clothed chimp mechanic. Hirsch has already begun growing out his ascot for the roll."

11 comments:

Octopunk said...

Yeeeeahhh...I'm always gonna want to know what the Wachowskis are up to, but this is a weird one.

Jordan said...

What the hell is all this Speed Racer shit, anyway? I mean, it's a fucking awful cartoon with no plot and bad animation about a kid who looks like Dondi and his stupid car. How can anyone in their right mind view it as any kind of property to do anything interesting with? I mean, this is a joke, right? Speed Racer? The guy driving around with the bad music and the bad logo? That you enjoy the way you "enjoy" Mentos ads?

JPX said...

Those Mentos ads cause me murderous rage.

Octopunk said...

There's a Grant Morrison comic (Flex Mentallo) in which a character is looking at the comics he drew in pencil as a kid and remarks "man, when you're a kid, you just do it!"

I've heard Quentin Tarantino has championed Speed Racer at some point, and I suspect his reasons are a lot like the comment above: Speed Racer has a rapid fire, go-get-'em vibe that dovetails nicely with the irony-free narrative style of QT's we were discussing here last week. I reckon that had something to do with the Clutch Cargo scene that appears briefly in Pulp Fiction.

And really, that vibe's right there in both those titles: Speed Racer, Pulp Fiction. Story, dammit, and screw the rest of it.

That said, I've scoped some Speed Racer cartoons somewhat recently and I'm not a fan. It's at least as annoying as your average cheapo Hanna Barbera cartoon, and the Japanese twist doesn't make up for it. I think you need to be indoctrinated as a kid.

Jordan said...

I stand by my original comment.

Come on, man! It's me -- you know I'm not objecting because I think Speed Racer is "too lowbrow" or "too simple and elemental." I'm objecting because it SUCKS (as I think you covered in your final sentence). Tarantino might have made it into something but that's not what we're talking about: that's more like Bakshi doing "Mighty Mouse" or Altman doing "Popeye" (forget for a secomd that I hate Altman). And both Mighty Mouse and Popeye are more intrinsically interesting to me than goddamned Speed Racer.

Jordan said...

I would go to a Spy vs. Spy movie (live-action or animated) long before a Speed Racer movie. And that's as elemental as it gets. (And it passes your "title test.")

The most self-conscious part of Pulp Fiction (the part that flirts most dangerously with ironic remove) is the title anyway.

Octopunk said...

We're on the same page here. That's just the best answer I can think of for "What the hell is all this Speed Racer shit, anyway?"

Watching it, the kineticism is certainly there

Gangsters: Get them!
(Shot of three gun barrels w/ slightly moving lines to denote firing)

Tire of Mach five: Errrrt
(Shot of Mach five's tire spinning around)

Ugh, it's tiring to even keep this going. Point is that these shots linger too long to save time and are as minimal as possible. It's almost like someone reading you a comic book on TV.

Add to that the insane dialogue style that just fills in the extra time left from the translation (or so I assume that's the problem) by repeating lines in a slightly different way.

Speed: I have to win the race because I always win the race and I need to go faster if I want to win the race because the race is something I want to win. Race.

JPX said...

Can someone YouTube the opening credits of Speed Racer?

Octopunk said...

I tried to post a couple YouTube items (Sesame Street stuff) a number of days ago and nothing happened.

Jordan said...

Yeah, he's right. The blogger/YouTube pipe is broken.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Personally, I love Speed Racer. It'high-octane entertainment through and through & a sure-fire cure for the blues!

Actually I've always been puzzled and repulsed by that stupid show.

Salem's Lot 1979 and Salem's Lot 2024

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