First rule of Horrorthon is: watch horror movies. Second rule of Horrorthon is: write about it. Warn us. Tempt us. The one who watches the most movies in 31 days wins. There is no prize.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Haiku Hump Day: The Future!
50 Page is in Tahoe without internet doing God knows what but he asked me to post his topic for him and that's what I be doing.
51 comments:
50 churns butter
While we write about future
Very, very odd
All hail the robots!
Angry, horrible robots
Enslave you & me
SkyNet "self-aware"
Would've happened already
Or...happening...NOW?????
Handsome Stan alone here
Horrorthonners have vanished
Bleak dystopia
No, seriously
Where's my damn robot butler?
I've been quite patient
The future is now
The past never existed
Pass me that spliff, man
"The future is now"
That never made any sense
Now is the present
A "Space Odyssey"
Eight years later, still no HAL
The space shuttle sucks
The future I want
No religion and no Pope
Finally world peace
That's funny because I wrote that "future is now" bit before seeing that you had written one!
Back to the Future
Part III took place in the past
False advertising
Brain chips placed at birth
Access knowledge instantly
A new race is born
The future on film
Blade Runner city was weird
What, no zoning laws?
Robot butler - good.
Flying cars - even better.
Headless clone - priceless.
They had lightsabers
A long, long, long time ago
Why can't we make them?
Attack Ships on Fire
off Shoulder of Orion
Android tears in rain
Day I get jetpack
Finally be able to moon
J. Sweatpants from sky
Don't care if car flies
Or we can visit the stars
I want sex robot
I dream of the day
Postapocalyptic horde
is mine to command
Cannibalism
Really not a bad idea
The other white meat
Walking on the beach
The Statue of Liberty
The future scares me
It's Mt. Everest
The last scene in Waterworld
The future scares me
Woody Allen's take
Giant fruit, Orgasmatron
and that mystic orb
So, in the future
Manhattan's a big prison
Borgnine drives a cab
The biggest badass
is an eye patch guy named Snake
Yup, makes sense to me
Sex with a robot?
I did that for many years
Have you met my ex?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A dismal future
Patrick Swayze and some teens
have to save the world
Desolate living
Big muscle cars but no gas
Mel Gibson kicked ass
Poor old George Jetson
Stuck going around and round
Jane, what the fuck man!
JSP you're killing me
In a few decades
Every one of us will die
Kind of depressing
In a few decades
We'll have cyborg body parts
Kind of really cool
Not so fast on "death" -
Upload your mind to the cloud
New cloned body: Done
We're doomed anyway
Twelve-twenty-one twenty-twelve
End of history
Even if Johnny doesn't win this week, I hereby vote for that "sex with a robot" haiku to enter the Haiku Hall of Fame.
Funniest. Haiku. Ever.
I thought Lazer Tag
Was the wave of the future
Couldn't be wronger
Then there was "Photon"
An even lamer version
With retard helmets
Don't you think Jetsons
was really just the Flintstones
With way cooler stuff
Bender is the fave
Well, for most people that is
For me it's Zoidberg
I just turned 30
Uh oh, crystal is blinking
Off to Carousel
Wait! Stop! Don't eat that!
They've been lying to us all!
Soylent Green's people!
Hive mind emerging
Cell phones and chips in our brains
Singularity
One thing's for certain
People will keep getting fat
And also dumber
(Contradictory haikus. So what, big whoop, you wanna fight about it?)
The future is bleak
I'll just sit here wasting time
writing more haikus
Nostradamus wrote
quatrains predicting our fate
but we don't listen
I see the future
In less than 90 minutes
I'll be drinking beer
I always wondered
How they made people into
little green crackers
Have to wonder
What does soylent green taste like?
Is it like chicken?
What a shit future
Nothing to eat but crackers
they need recipes
"Always in motion
The future is." Jeez, Yoda.
That crap don't give me.
50 years from now
Middle East - giant crater
Thanks to religion
More technology
Makes mass murder easier
A matter of time
Two different people
With a claim to the same land
Why can't they just share?
'Cuz their holy books
Give divine entitlement
They're doing "God's work"
Only if we shed
This "faith is a virtue" crap
Will humans survive
Actually three
Jews, Jesus, and Islam guys
One city. SO fun!
Another city
Would solve problems immensely
Islam, take Cleveland
Future should lead to
The Death of Faith. But it won't.
People get dumber.
Times get worse. More fear
Which is easy to exploit
Man! Bummer haikus
Damn holo pornstar
Frakker's on the fritz again
Damn Mickey Mouse head
Forget flying cars
Don't care about cyborg parts
Beam me UP, Scotty!
Transporter mishap
Won me a big lawsuit, but
Damn Mickey Mouse head
That holo pornstar one is straight out of the back page of Wired. Genius.
Here's news: from above
Cities look like computers
And we become them
"Frakker's on the fritz" - that's some seriously frakking GREAT stuff!
Death Star, Battlestar
All in our past. Our future?
Not as cool as that
What will solve problems
Is that Mr. Fusion thing
Garbage as our fuel
Fuck recycling
Garbage will overwhelm us
Wall-E had it right
the year three thousand
white mice rule the universe
doug adams was right
nuclear fallout
earth a desolate wasteland
yet keith richards lives
who knew that "watchmen"
would spark the next fashion craze?
blue cocks the new black
orwell and huxley
were never THIS dystopic:
palin president!
the suicide note
will be pinned to hanging corpse:
"my name's not gretchen"
anthropologist
sifts through techno-artifacts
what's this "horrorthon"?
AC that suicide Gretchen one is hilarious!
hope there's a future
in which i forget sweatpants'
sack is called "tweety"
thanks catfreeek!
can't wait for next LOST
stop yelling, i'm on topic:
next week's in future.
Optimus said it
We all just need to listen:
"Until all are one"
All minds converging
Shared collective consciousness
Blue states will be first
AC came on strong at the end! Love the Gretchen one and I was pleased to see good old "Tweety" getting a mention.
Handsome Stan I love the Cities look like computers and we become them one!
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