(1959) *
Whirlygirl wanted to watch this and 15 minutes into it I realized with horror that I had already seen it and that it’s really bad. Below is my poorly written review from 2 years ago slightly revised with all new observations!
“People aren’t interested in anything good, they don’t know and they don’t care. Just give them garbage!” (Teenage Zombies director Jerry Warren)
Four “teens” go water skiing and stumble upon an uncharted island (how could an island 30 miles from shore be uncharted? That would be like one of us discovering Block Island). After partying on the beach, and by “partying” I mean drinking root beer while exchanging jocular tête-à-têtes in their slacks, the gang finds that their boat has vanished. Leaving the two girls behind to fend for themselves, the boys set out to find help. A brief search leads them to an ominous house occupied by Dr. Myra, a Lily Munster-ish woman and her “helper”, Ivan, a lurking zombie in a pea coat. Dr. Myra informs them that she never saw their boat nor does she own one. She offers the boys soft drinks from a curiously well-stocked fridge but tells them that she is unable to help them. Despite dropping hints like anvils that she wants them to leave, the boys believe she is lying (she is, of course). Fed up with the two pesky dolts she has Ivan imprison them in her creepy basement that conveniently contains a jail cell. To their surprise, the boys find that their girlfriends have also been imprisoned (thanks guys!).
Stop calling me 'Lilly'!
Once she has them behind bars she reveals her plans. Dr. Myra is a scientist (a mad one) who has been conducting “research”, on turning people into zombies for no apparent reason. The four eventually (and easily) escape after a complicated ass-kicking involving a gorilla (don’t ask) and they turn Dr. Myra into a zombie using, yep you guessed it, her own toxin!
Why does Lilly insist that I wear this heavy jacket?
Sigh, this is a bad one gang, a really bad one. No doubt one of you is going to tell me that you watched it on MST3K, but it’s unnecessary to do so - it’s so bad we needn’t discuss it ever again (although here I am discussing it again two years later).
4 comments:
I watched this turd too. Ugh.
When these old ones are bad their just awful to get through.
Ooh, what a drag to watch a movie you swore you'd never watch again. At least when you realized you'd already seen it, it was realized to your "horror."
No? Not enough help?
"Four “teens” go water skiing and stumble upon an uncharted island (how could an island 30 miles from shore be uncharted? That would be like one of us discovering Block Island)."
Hysterical comment!
JPX, this wasn’t all that unbearable. We did have some good laughs making fun of these dimwits
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