Neanderthal Man

(1953)**

Scientist Clifford Groves is bent on proving his ridiculous theory that primitive man was more advanced than modern man both physically and mentally. Apparently Groves believes that bigger heads equal bigger/smarter brains. Early on we watch him give a lecture about his whacky theory to a group of colleagues who rightly mock him when he finishes presenting his “research”. His response to their derision is classic; "Tuck your fears between your legs and run from new truths! Small men! Small views! You want proof, do you? Well, I'll give you proof! I'll show you such proof that no men have ever had!"

Meanwhile the local townsfolk in the High Sierra Mountains of California begin reporting strange sightings of a huge saber tooth tiger. Initially skeptical, game warden George changes his incredulous tune quickly when a saber tooth tiger jumps onto the hood of his car as he’s driving home one evening. Convinced that the rumors are true George solicits the aid of Dr. Ross Harnkess, a big wig zoological expert from L.A. who agrees to move in with George until the mystery is resolved (?).

The duo eventually learns that the saber tooth tiger is a cat that has been injected with a devolution serum created by none other than crazy scientist Groves. Not satisfied with what he has created Groves makes the ultimate sacrifice and injects himself with his devolution serum where he goes through a ridiculous transformation that includes looking like the homeless man that asks me for money every day on my way to work.



Before long, Groves goes on a Neanderthal rampage killing all innocents in his path. He also can’t help himself to a little hey hey when he stumbles across this,



Yep,



Eventually a posse is formed,



And Neanderthal Man gets bummed out.



And we’re given an important message,

"We mustn't think of him too harshly. The things he did--and they were terrible--all of us are capable of doing when we give free play to the basis which is a part of everyone. He tampered with things beyond his province...beyond what any man should do. And if it was madness...well...those whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad."

All this, of course, is wonderful 1950s mad scientist stuff! Did I mention that Groves somehow has a girlfriend despite being such a pill to be around all the time? At one point she complains, “I want you--the man I once knew! The good companion, the cheerful friend. What is this unhappy work that has absorbed you so much, that is undermining your nervous system and making you such an intolerable sorehead?" I think I’m going to start calling people “sorehead”. This is forgettable, silly stuff that will unintentionally make you laugh throughout.