OK, Joss Whedon fans. First of all, let me tell you I don't hate you. No, really! Some of my best friends are Joss Whedon fans! And I don't hate your beloved overlord either. Seriously. He's a fellow alum of my fine university, and I was even privileged enough to once see him dancing to "Don't Stop Believin'" during reunion week. You don't need me to tell you he can bust a nerdy move.
But you, my beloved Joss Whedon fans, are kind of like that aunt who asks you every Thanksgiving why you aren't married yet, or the friend who tells you you'd be so pretty if you just knew what to do with your hair. You know, the person in your life who you love, but also, well, hate for being a know-it-all?
Yes, you're know-it-alls. You are convinced that if I just watch one more episode of Buffy, or get through that pilot episode of Firefly that is two goddamn hours long, I will finally see the light and see the error of my vampire-shunning ways. But you can't make me! I don't like the shows, I don't read the comic books, I don't read Joss's blog, and according to you guys it's not because I'm not interested—I'm just wrong.
I get that you see inherent genius in a show about high school vampires. I get that, somehow, a space Western is actually brilliant drama and never deserved to be cancelled. But why, why, why, do I have to believe it too? Why, after God knows how many times of explaining that I'm not really into Buffy, must you doubt me? When you explain that you're baffled by the polar bears on Lost, I leave it alone. When you say Six Feet Under is too depressing, fine. You won't drink my Kool-Aid, so why do I have to drink yours?
When you talk about Xander, I don't really know who you're talking about. When you swoon over Spike, I still think his hair is disgusting. When you crush on Giles and his British accent, I need only point you to Hugh Laurie, or, hell, David Hyde Pierce, he'll do in a pinch. There is nothing that Buffy does that has not been done better elsewhere, except for possibly the six-second "I got the mustard out of my shirt!" song in the musical episode, which was admittedly great. But that is one episode in a show that ran for seven seasons, and is now continuing on in comic book form! Seriously, guys, let it go!
You know why none of the actors have gone on to do anything of merit since Buffy ended? It's because they're bad actors. Yeah, I love Allyson Hannigan on How I Met Your Mother, but she can't act. And if I really need to tell you that Sarah Michelle Gellar can't act either, well, you're obviously Freddie Prinze Jr. using a fake name.
I'm thrilled you guys have found a show that pushes all your geek buttons, and that it inspires you to go to conferences and call Joss Whedon "Jossus" (no, really, why do you do that?) and stage your own version of the musical episode, except with people who can’t really sing. But stop looking at me like I'm just too dumb to understand the show's genius. I have a degree in Film Studies! I get it! I just want no part of it. Go away.
See more anti-fanboy rants here
8 comments:
hi-larious!
That is really funny, this guy gets it. I initially didn't read the article because my eyes tend to glaze over when I see the words "Joss Whedon" or "Buffy".
The only good thing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the original movie and that's only becausePee Wee was in it.
I have to disagree with you there. That movie is a stankfest through and through. It's amazing the idea got picked up.
I get that your eyes glaze over when you see the word "Buffy;" I've never been all that game for the high school setting and characters to have a go at watching the whole series.
BUT the three or four episodes I've watched tuned me into what Joss Whedon is extremely good at: story and characters. And this was born out when I started reading Astonishing X-Men, the comic book he writes. He instantly and deftly took characters bogged down by decades of past stories and distilled their personalities with top-notch intrigue and charm -- at the same time pulling the best bits of those dense histories to work with. He's a true fanboy himself, and one of the premiere examples of why it can be better to let the lunatics run the asylum (see also Bryan Singer, Kevin Smith, J.J. Abrams, etc.).
And then there's Firefly, a show so awesome I recommend it to everyone on the blog who isn't already a fan. It's only 13 episodes and 1 movie, so it's not that big of a time investment and it is so, so worth it. I don't care how much of a Joss Whedon cheerleader that makes me, or how much I sound like I'm "right" about something so subjective. I don't think anyone could watch the short run of that series and not be taken in by it at least a little. Unglaze those eyes, Johnny!
Furthermore, I resent the tone of this article, and only give them a pass because I'm sure, as writers on a popular website, they deal with a tidal wave of the worst kinds of fans. As with the anti-anime fanboys article, they make broad generalizations that declare the entire subgenre unworthy because of a few bad apples.
Okay, probably a few orchards' worth of bad apples, but I'm not baffled by Lost's polar bears or too depressed by Six Feet Under. I "drink their Kool-Aid," but I'm not exempt from contempt because I think certain examples of Joss Whedon's work or anime are well worth one's time. I enjoy Firefly much more than I enjoy Lost, that's for sure.
And that's the other thing that galls me, this refusal to actually experience the thing being lauded. I can't believe this chick is stymied by a pilot that is "two goddamn hours long" (italics hers). There are certain media experiences that can be extremely rewarding if you're willing to have the focus to sit with it a while. I've had some of my favorite comic books, shows, etc. dismissed by people who barely got their toes wet with it, and I have to say it drives me fucking crazy.
I read the first Harry Potter book and it didn't really grab me, and I didn't continue with the series for several months. When I did pick it back up I discovered it was really as great as everybody said, and I'm so glad I had the nads to find out.
Fair enough Octopunk. I'll add Firefly onto my growing list of recommendations from this blog. (Deadwood, Battlestar)
I forgot about Avatar.
But only if you promise to give KISS a fair shake and listen to every single album in chronological order. (You can skip the greatest hits though.)
What, seeing Paul Stanley at the Fillmore with you wasn't enough?
I don't know, music's different. I'd never talk about music in the confident "I think you'll like this" fashion, or give anyone too much grief about not listening to it for long enough, although it's true that stuff can grow on you.
Nevertheless, touche, my good man. Touche.
(dammit, how do I make e's with accents over them?)
Meh. That blog seems like one of those seemingly good ideas that don't really work in execution.
"Hey, what about a blog with nothing but rants against various fanboy groups!"
The problem is, there's no such thing as a non-annoying fanboy group, and what's annoying about them is the same thing that's annoying about ALL of them. Does anyone now need to read this person's rant against anime fans? French film fans?
Plus it's just way too long and overwritten. Should have just been some kind half-paragraph blurb. Get to the funny and move on...
..but..but Firefly. And the much awaited sequel to Serenity :( You can't hate those! You'd have to be just plain coldhearted to hate those !
I agree with the Buffy comments though. The monsters leave much to be desired...too 90's every other sci fi series that has crappily conceived monsters.
On a tangent, there is a channel here in Belgium if you get Satellite, and it is also called The SciFi Channel. It only plays those crappy 90s sci fi series...in french :(
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