"I think I am going to give up disorganization for Lent. Now where did I put my calendar?" -- H-Town's Facebook statusFor the next forty days and forty nights...I'm going to be eating, drinking, having sex with whatever I want, because I'm Jewish -- we only have to give everything up one day out of the year. And just look at us. We're kicking ass all over the map.
It's the first day of Lent. Some of you might actually be participating. To you sturdy folk, I say good for you. Burnish that resolve, and try not to think of how unbearably delicious that first molten chocolate cake on Easter Sunday is going to taste.
It's past lunchtime for most of the east coasters, and I'm sorry for getting to this so late. So without further delay, make with the poemics. Here's a series of images to remind you of what you're leaving behind for the next month, plus. Like you needed to be reminded.
And of course, what I'd be forced to give up for Lent were I a Christian...
10 comments:
Due to the lateness of the post, submissions will be redeemable through lunchtime tomorrow. Go get 'er, sinners!
Yes we're supposed to eschew pleasures its true
Something not required if you're a jew
Yet judaism's laws are rigid
(Tho Shabbat is not frigid)
Catholics sin lots then confession makes new
Heavenly entry
Denied cuz I had that cake
God just doesn't care
Deny happiness
Forty days of shame and guilt
Lent: the Devil's Tool
There was was a guy named God
Who made up some rules most odd
"Don't do anything fun,
Because it will bug me a ton
And don't covet your neighbor's wife's hot bod."
since when's "mcgee" a jewish name?
i tell you what i think
our fitty shifts religious views
to generate a stink
if that is fair (and no it's not)
i'll tell you what i'll do;
pretend that i'm a catholic
and not agnostic jew
so what i'm giving up for lent
should aggravate the rabble
not least of all our fitty p
i'll give up facebook scrabble!
There once was a fella named Jesus
Who talked resurrection to tease us
He wants sacrifice
We should eat only rice
Yet he makes little efforts to please us
This is the season they sell Peeps
Those that enjoy them? Obese freaks.
If I drink turpentine
Induce vomiting, that's fine
One Peep will reap from the deep
(not strictly "Lent," but those fucking things are disgusting)
Made the sacrifice
This year I gave up haiku
Doh! I'm damned to hell
Every year I dumbly stare
"You've got something on your forehead there"
Then suddenly I realize "yikes!"
"That cult that everybody likes!"
I don't care if you're adult
Face it Ashface, you're in a cult
Post a Comment