So, here's the progression. A friend tells me to check out Listverse.com -- I'd never been before. I do a search for the word "scariest" and find this list of scary Philipinno monster legends. Then I get to thinking about the Wendigo. Immediately that reminds me of Pet Sematary, and I wind up doing a Wiki search for that. I read the article, and then my eyes fall to the dreaded name.
Zelda.
Pet Sematary came out when I was in the 5th grade. I saw it in theater. I've seen it dozens of times since and I can get through all of it just fine, except for the parts that involve Raaaaaaachellll's sister Zelda. She's only onscreen for about one minute of the entire film, but in my entire life, I don't think I've ever found anything that put me in such a state of thick, miserable fright and revulsion as that one minute.
Against a tiny voice in my head whimpering, "please, don't do this to yourself," I Googled "Pet Sematary Zelda." To my momentary relief, there aren't any video links on the top page. There was, however a link entitled, "the scariest woman in the world and how i almost got over her." It was a good post - something I might have written, almost word for word. And there's a funny bit about his sister in there too.
"Momwife is walking up the stairs of their house [or was it the old neighbor-guy's house? p.s. the neighbor was played by the same guy who played Herman Munster. true story] and starts to hear someone calling her name: “Raaaachhheeellllll!”
She walks into a bedroom and her sister ZELDA is crouched down in the corner. She comes rushing up to momwife [aka right up to the camera] and begins yelling about how momwife will “NEVER GET OUT OF BED AGAIN!!!” after she threatens to “twist your back like mine”"
As I read, I could picture clearly Rachel advancing towards me from across a fisheye room, and I literally shrank back from my computer screen -- and bear in mind, I'm just *reading* about it. I'm not even watching it by this point.
I still haven't watched it. I'm going to right now. Join me, why don't you?
[shudder]
Now why on earth did I just do that to myself?
OK, Bedtime!
7 comments:
I have issues with Pet Sematary as well but they don't involve Zelda. Though I admit she's incredibly creepy.
Reading the book was very unsettling but actually seeing that cute little boy get plowed by a speeding semi sends shivers down my spine. I literally cannot watch that scene or I will condemn myself to be plagued with nightmares for weeks.
The story also forces me to question myself. Would I have done the same to get my kid back? Absolutely!
Once when I was drunk, I made out with some girl. I didn't remember her name the next day. To this day, all I remember was how the entire time, I kept thinking how much she looked like Zelda from Pet Semetary.
It was not my finest hour.
Best you forgot her name I think and I hope you ran!
thanks for mentioning the wendigo, fitty, i didn't really need to sleep at all tonight.
haha, that was my blog post! i'm glad you enjoyed it ;)
Pet Sematary was when I realized that Stephen King was a complete idiot when it came to movies.
It's one of my favorite of his books, hands down. It's flawlessly done, perfectly structured, and has powerful themes and a fantastic nasty ending (unlike most long-form King). For years after I read it, I was thinking about what an incredible movie it would make. (I was picturing Dustin Hoffman as Dr. Louis Creed.)
The movie is just awful. It throws away every good trick in the book and replaces it with bullshit. And it's got Denise Crosby in it. What happened? Did they take King's baby away from him and ruin it? No, King actually wrote the screenplay himself. After this, Firestarter, those Mick Garris TV movies (The Stand and The Shining) I had to face the fact that King knows nothing about horror movies. His incredible, otherworldly skills just fall out of his head once a movie camera's involved.
this is ages after the fact, jordan, so you'll probably never know i responded, but i agree pretty much with everything you just said.
pet sematary is one of those movies that got grandfathered in to my personal list of scariest films. there are things about it i might have hated if i weren't so young when i saw it, or if i hadn't read the book years after having first seen the film.
the book is exceptional, one of King's best and scariest. i haven't seen the movie in ages, so i'm not sure if it'll be one of those flicks i find i have no objection to *because* of the grandfathering in, or if i'll think, "wow, i can't believe i used to like this."
then again, this is coming from the same guy who read the novelization of Navy Seals *more than once* when he was 12, so it's possible i just don't have any taste, whatsoever
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