(1989) **
What's a bad movie minithon without at least one Van Damme picture? My video store source nodded wisely at this pick and said, "that's a bad movie all right... but it's not his worst." He was right on both counts. Cyborg has a basic (if derivative) sci-fi/action plot: There has been an apocalypse, and plague. A cyborg scientist needs to get from New York back to Atlanta, so the scientists there can find a cure for the plague. She is captured by pirates, headed by the ferocious and bloodthirsty Fender (pictured above). Van Damme is a slinger, muscle for hire, who has his own reasons for wanting to kill Fender, but no interest in helping the cyborg find her way back to Atlanta. Despite my fond memories of its awfulness, it turns out Cyborg isn't actually a bomb (dang). The action proceeds at an excellent pace and the fight scenes are for the most part well done and exciting. On the inevitable negative side, the movie is very predictable, the acting is really subpar, the minimal dialogue ditto, and Van Damme uncharacteristically keeps his pants on, much to my dismay. The final fight scene is marred by excessive roaring on the part of Fender and Van Damme. Seriously, roaring. But all in all, Cyborg is an acceptable action movie and probably average for a Van Damme flick. It's a good thing crapathon is over, or I'd feel compelled to watch the (ecch) sequels.
6 comments:
Dangity dang, you really outdid yourself with this thon, AC. That is true 'thonner grit, right there.
I think this is great. Anyone thinking about the fact that it's only about 50 days until October? Duh duh DUH.
Somehow I've never watched all of Cyborg, so my hat's even more off to you. Like, it's off, then I threw it into the fireplace.
Good god AC! You really weren't messing around, were you?! You've displayed a higher threshold of pain than I ever thought was possible. I hope you continue with this theme in October...
Bravo, ac! You had a bad movie contest with yourself - did you win? My hat's off to you. That's a lot of badness for one weekend. I've never seen this film, aren't there sequels that need to be reviewed, hint hint?
Octo, Horrorthon is indeed coming soon. I collect Halloween village figurines, houses, etc, an the new stuff is all in the stores (Michaels) as of yesterday! I've been beefing up my horror copying in anticipation. If anything, Stonerthon (and ac's so-bad-it's-good thon) made me realize how much I missed writing reviews and reading original material.
I told JPX last night that everyone needs to watch out for AC during Horrorthon because she is going to kick some butt.
thanks all. i have one more doozy for tonight, so if you don't mind i'll post about even though it's outside the weekend framework.
whirlygirl, i am no threat at horrorthon! the boys average 2-3 films/day, and i can't maintain that pace for a month. my personal goal is to improve on last year's showing and to throw a couple of series in. yay, horrorthon!
Post away, ac, today is VJ Day, which means that today is part of the weekend (at least here i the Ocean State).
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