JUGHEAD JONES
Betty: "Archie, I'm really looking forward to our date tonight!"
Archie: "Hey Jug, if I play my cards right I'll be eating some 'pie' a little later."
JPX hit the ground running with his Archie caption. The perversion goes hand in hand with Archie's suggestive expression.
MARY WORTH
Panel 1
Narration - Meanwhile, back at the Leprosy Diner...
Waitress: "Oh god! I'm sorry! My nose is falling off again!"
Mary - "!"
Panel 2
Mary - "Why do I keep coming here?"
This sums up everything I love about the way Handsome Stan's brain works. Mary Worth has been disappointed in her experience at the Leprosy Diner before and yet she keeps coming back. Why? Is it the food? Is it the close proximity to her house?
FAMILY CIRCUS
Family Circus could have gone in many directions (and it did) but Abduscias nailed it with "Mom! Look look what I found in PJ's ass!" It fits perfectly. Billy is holding the train track as if he just pulled it out and he looks worried while Jeffy is appropriately traumatized.
CAPTAIN EASY
Panel 1
Narration: By the first scene of Act Five, during the once-respectful reminiscences of Yorick, this production had cemented its position as the very worst production of Hamlet this reviewer has ever seen.
Panel 2
Narration (side panel): The buffoon playing Horatio had completely lost the cultural and historical tone meant to be set by his traditional costume. Instead he jumped around screaming about "The Mighty Alligator Ninja" as he shook the hapless creature by the throat.
Narration (white on black panel) (Incidentally, I am convinced the poor beast had been dead since Act Two)
Panel 3
Captain Easy: Alas poor Yorick, I knew him KICK YOUR ASS!!
Panel 4
Narration: Any impact the scene may have had was destroyed by the loud slide-whistle noise marking Yorick's descent
Panel 5
Narration: Oh yes, and they put a speaker inside Yorick's "skull." At this point, why not?
Yorick: DAY! DAYeeeeOOO! Daylight come and me wanna goo hoOOME!
Octopunk put his own personal stamp on Captain Easy, which I'd say was the most difficult of the bunch. The whole thing is hilarious but it was the slide whistle that won my heart. And finally:
MICKEY MOUSE
Mickey was a tie between Octopunk:
Panel 1
Mickey: Hiya Goofy! Watcha got there?
Goofy: Hyuck! It's brain tonic, Mickey!
Panel 2
Goofy: According to the doc, just a spoonful and you get five times as smart! Gawsh!
Panel 3
Mickey: Well you better drink it all, you dumb fuck!
and Abduscias:
Goofy-"Hey Mickey! Here's the juice you need for your problems with Minnie!"
Mickey"Thats great Goofy!"
Goofy-"Hmmm, maybe I can use this on Minnie..."
Mickey-"Wait, what??"
After healthy deliberation I've decided to award this week's victory to.....
Drumroll........
Abduscias!
7 comments:
Doesn't the original Family Circus caption make you want to strangle a puppy?
I died a little inside when I read the real one.
Thanks for the mention, JSP! I was impressed that I nailed the "single punctuation mark in a balloon" thing. I thought Jordan's Mary Worth was totally awesome.
I know I've been away for a while, but congrats, Abduscias!
Big congrats to Abduscias! Way to go girl. Loved all the entries this week. I am especially fond of JPX's Archie and Jordan's Mary Worth. Great picks JSP.
Yay!!! I wiiiiiiin!!! Thankyou! :)
congratulations abduscias!
Fucking "Family Circus" fucking sucks! It's an abomination! I hate it!
You want me to elaborate? I'd be glad to:
This material is not funny. Worse, it's what you might call "aggressively un-funny" because it works by means of a perversion of the basic mechanics of humor and sympathy and recognition.
A "circus" is a grotesquely-exaggerated physical arena for vaudvillian showmanship, mostly for kids. If a family is like a "circus" (stupid pun noted) that means that it's a controlled environment for certain kinds of disorder and mayhem, for purposes of amusement. When something is called a "circus" that's because it's not working the right way; its functionality is impaired by its disorder.
But the family in the strip is well-ordered and regimented. I see no problems beyond the stupid kids coming up with "amusing" ways to describe their own trivial bad behavior. To compare this environment to a "circus" is to force me to view the kids' malapropisms or mess-making as being somehow comparable to clowns or trapeze artists or other performers whose controlled exaggerations of real behavior are deliberate.
In other words, the mildly unruly nuclear family is not like a "circus" and viewing it that way does such damage both to the concept of circuses (which are like Roman arenas for kids) and families (which are endlessly fascinating and grueling yet profoundly rewarding controlled systems).
If you see your family as "a circus" then you're working very hard to view it the wrong way. I understand this is supposed to be "funny" but it can't be funny for these reasons, and, not being funny, it's got nothing left but its untoward implicit comparisons where children are like show animals and disciplinary teaching moments are like bad vaudeville. And that's why I hate Family Circus. (Also, the guy can't draw.)
Congrats to the new girl!
I'm sorry I didn't get to Mary Worth and Jughead. I was thinking of something about Arch bending Betty over the table Jughead was sitting at (and Jug not noticing, of course) but I never figured out the right opener.
Great comic choices JSP! And yay for Jordan for joining the fray.
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