Monday, December 04, 2006

Horrorthon Fun Stats

During Horrorthon 2004, I had aspirations to tally up strange details that occurred in more than one movie, but I never got around to it. Here are the holdouts from then:

People getting caught in bear-claw traps: 4

People killed by being stabbed with the horn on a statue of a unicorn's head: 2


Here are some new items for 2006:

People getting caught in bear-claw traps: 3

Hero escaping but losing a couple of fingers: 2

Victims about to be devoured defiantly wishing their remains to cause gastric distress: 2

People using windshield wipers to wipe off blood: 3

Incidents in which people look to their car to escape but it's suddenly and inexplicably surrounded by monsters: 2

Chainsaws turning on their masters: 4

Times that, even though I was looking at a pile of bloody corpses, some guy in my head said "hey...boobs:" 2

11 comments:

Octopunk said...

I should point out that "chainsaws turning on their masters" doesn't mean that someone else grabbed the chainsaw and used it, it just refers to odd flights of circumstance.

JPX said...

I love that picture! Even glasses can't hide the dumb.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Ok, chainsaws turning on masters. You have:

1) Hostel
2) Dawn Remake
3) Texas Chainsaw 1

What's the 4th?

Octopunk said...

It's one of the other Chainsaws (2, 3 ,or 4), but I can't remember which one. I was asking myself this same question earlier today.

I read the Hostel chainsaw incident is a deliberate homage to TCM#1, hence the wound is on the right leg in both cases (although with widely varying degrees of severity).

Jordan said...

I HAVE AN IDEA!

Sorry but I just got this great idea. Maybe this belongs down on a previous comment thread about "points" but so what. "Screw the council!"

My idea is: You assign points or name "fun stats" or whatever on the following criteria:

Basically, its the "How many minutes in" question, meaning, for the movie, if you start the clock at 0:00 as the movie starts, at what point are you, well, 100% in nightmare mode? And you have to commend movies for "best example of [however-many] minutes."

For example, for movies in the past few years, I would say "scariest first twenty-five minutes" goes to Silent Hill because that's exactly how long it takes before you're all the way down in "you're screwed" land.

Dawn of the Dead (2004) [unrated] wins "scariest first ten minutes." because that's all it takes to get there (and you never get back until the lights come up in the theater, MAYBE 'cause you're still freaked by the videotape.)

This could be extended out: "Scariest first forty-five minutes" is Psycho, hands down.

Etc. Etc.

JPX said...

"at what point are you, well, 100% in nightmare mode?" That's really funny. Suspiria probably has the scariest first 5 minutes, although I'm sure I'm forgetting others (Halloween?). I agree about the first 20 minutes of Silent Hill - up until that point it's a perfect movie.

Johnny Sweatpants said...

Good call on the first 10 minutes of Dawn. I can't think of a better example. It's really difficult to start off with such dread and maintain it throughout.

I must say, it's kind of fun sitting back and waiting for JPX's reviews to trickle out. I can't help but notice that he hasn't posted a new one today. Sure wish he'd hurry the hell up!

Octopunk said...

What would be funny is to make little graphs for all these nightmare percentages, and then see how many movies just plod along at about 20% or so, never spiking.

It is pleasant to put my feet up and watch JPX squeak out these last few. It's like in fourth grade when I'd finish the standardized tests early and get to draw.

JPX said...

Shut up shut up shut up! [hands over ears screaming] "Mary had a little lamb..."

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I keep hitting "refresh" but no new reviews, only comments. There's nothing refreshing about your sorry excuses.

This Coke Blak I'm drinking on the other hand, is quite refreshing.

JPX said...

2007 horror preview right here: http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/7759

Malevolent

 2018  ***1/2 It's 1986 for some reason, and a team of paranormal investigators are making a big name for themselves all over Scotland. ...