Whizzer is one of the earliest Marvel characters created and, to prove we're not shitting you, we are simply going to copy and paste his actual origin story, courtesy of Wikipedia:
"The origin of the Golden Age character begins while Robert Frank is on a trip to Africa with his father, Dr. Emil Frank, where Robert is bitten by a cobra. Dr. Frank saves Robert by a transfusion of mongoose blood, and soon discovers that he has developed super-speed."
Yeah.
What Went Wrong?
You need to know right now, or at least before you try to go camping, that blood transfusions are not a cure for cobra bites as far as modern science is concerned. Not even with mongoose blood. Especially not with mongoose blood.
But aside from that, his entire origin story seems like it was created by filling in a mad-libs page.
Robert Frank is on a trip to ________, where he is _______ by a ________. Dr. Frank saves his live by a transfusion of __________.
Seriously, take that to a ten year-old kid and have him fill it in, he'll wind up with a story that makes more sense than theirs. Don't fill it in yourself, you'll just wind up writing in "boobies" four times.
With that out of the way, let's take a closer look at the costume:
No, we are not sure if it's Whizzer talking here, or the cartoon chicken on his helmet. We like to think it's the chicken.
Is there anything going in favor of this guy? Well, no. We're pretty sure that even in the era when the character was written, "whizzer" was slang for "pisser." But we're thinking even a superhero who uses a magical stream of urine to thwart crime would be substantially less retarded than this guy.
See rest here
2 comments:
What does a bird on his head have to do with a Mongoose?
Also, how many Mongoose (Mongeese?) would you need to give a guy a transfusion? Even if he was a kid, that's like 10/15 Mongoose/Mongooses/Mongeese.
That's a riot! That reminds me of the Seinfeld when Elaine was dating the Whiz.
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