What the Duck
Shoe
Nancy
Animal Quacker
B.C.
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Salem's Lot 1979 and Salem's Lot 2024
Happy Halloween everybody! Julie's working late and the boy doesn't have school tomorrow so he's heading to one of those crazy f...
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(2007) * First of all let me say that as far as I could tell there are absolutely no dead teenagers in this entire film. Every year just ...
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What the Duck
Panel 1
“Well, sir, I’ve gone over all of your test results twice”
“Can you make me feel better?”
Panel 2
“Yes, just take one of these twice a day for the next week”
“How in the world could I ever swallow that?”
Panel 3
“You don’t swallow it, my good man, this is a suppository”
B.C.
Panel 1
(lām)
adj., lam•er, lam•est.
• Weak and ineffectual; unsatisfactory:
Panel 2
Example – “It is totally lame when the grandchildren of lame comic strip artists take over a lame comic strip and continue to make lame jokes that only appeal to those with a lame sense of humor.”
Animal Qwacker
Panel 1
“Congratulations, I heard you finally earned your G.E.D!”
“Yep, it nearly killed me but it’s done”
Panel 2
“I wish I could get my G.E.D…”
“You can, you just need to buckle down and use your noggin’”
Panel 3
“I think you just stepped in poop”
“Indeed I did”
Nancy
Panel 1
“Fan Yang Gazillion Bubbles, for best results avoid flatulence when using this product”
Panel 2
“HAHA, what in the world does that mean?”
Panel 3
“Oh”
What the Duck
Panel 1
Doctor: With our new technology we can figure out the precise extent of your mental illness
Patient: That's good, because I want to get better fast
Panel 2
Doc: Here ya go!
Patient: There's no way I can swallow that
Panel 3
Doc: But this is how sick you are
B.C.
Panel 1
Lazy
(lz)
adjective lazier -·zi·er, laziest -·zi·est
1. Resistant to work or exertion; disposed to idleness.
2. Slow-moving; sluggish: a lazy river.
3. Conducive to idleness or indolence: a lazy summer day.
4. Using the same drawing for more than one panel in a comic strip
Panel 2
(silence)
Animal Qwacker
Panel 1
Cat: "Did you know that all wolves drink like fish? Also, raccoons are terrible drivers and beavers like anal sex."
Rabbit: "Whatever dude, those are just stereotypes."
Panel 2
Cat: "Stereotypes! No way man, those are cold hard facts!"
Rabbit: "Man, your just ignorant."
Panel 3
Cat: "So I guess what they say about rabbits having enormous pe....holy shit dude! How do you walk with that thing?"
Rabbit: "It's a gift."
What the Duck
Panel 1
"So let me get this straight. You're claustrophobic, agoraphobic, xenophobic and genophobic."
"That's right. I'm also homophobic, felinophobic and ergophobic. Also I can't tolerate loud noises, children or television. What do you recommend?"
Panel 2
"Take this pill."
"But Duckter, ingesting a pill of that size seems highly dangerous and would probably kill me!"
Panel 3
"Exactly."
Shoe
Panel 1
“The White House on Tuesday unveiled its campaign to fight childhood obesity. First lady Michelle Obama is spearheading the effort.”
Panel 2
“A 2009 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that the direct and indirect cost of obesity "is as high as $147 billion annually. Scientists have discovered that the leading cause of obesity is…
Panel 3
“…wearing purple shirts and sitting in front computers. More at 11”
Shoe:
Panel 1
“Are you a big fat guy that enjoys online gaming? Do you even remember the last time you got laid?”
Panel 2
“Do you have difficulty concentrating on World of Warcraft because you keep getting distracted by the very idea of a bacon double cheeseburger?”
Panel 3
“Well you’re in luck - introducing Online Ernie’s Burger Delivery Service! For just $29.99 a month you can have hamburgers delivered to your doorstep at any time of day. Act now and you'll get..."
Animal Quackers
Panel 1
“Hey stupid! What are you even supposed to be? A chipmunk, a beaver or a rabbit?”
“I would prefer that you judge me by my character, not my species.”
Panel 2
“Or maybe you’re one of those dumbass squirrels that run across highways!”
“Cram it mister. I have enough self confidence not to be bothered by your juvenile insults.”
Panel 3
“Whoa. That is without a doubt the biggest schlong my eyes have ever had the privilege to witness.”
“Thanks. Like I said, I have self confidence.”
what the duck
1.
"i finally have your medicine ready."
"thanks, doc! where is it?"
2.
"here."
"what??? doc, i can't swallow anything that big!"
3. "that's not what i've heard."
b.c.
1.
"atheism"
2.
"a non-prophet organization"
Animal Qwacker
Panel 1
Cat: Man, I dig your hoodie and hat! You won the lottery for character design in this strip
Rabbit: Thanks, man, I know. Even my uneven teeth are rendered in a cool way.
Panel 2
Cat: Tell me about it. Meanwhile I've got this giant something hanging off the side of my face. Is this my cheek or a friggin' tumor?
Rabbit: I've been puzzling over that for days, actually. Does it hurt?
Panel 3
Cat: Probably not like that. Looks like you've been gutshot and your intestines are hanging out.
Rabbit: I know! I can't believe I'm not dead.
Shoe
Panel 1
Hey! You there! Are you depressed? Overweight? Wearing saddle shoes for no good reason?
Panel 2
Yes, that's it... sink down... it's hopless... yessss...
Panel 3
Well good news! You're having a psychotic break. You're about to decide you're Zeus and rain 12 gauge "thunderbolts" upon all your peers. Enjoy!
Nancy
Panel 1
This bottle sure comes with a lot of warnings
Panel 2
But they're so interesting! Do not use around open-topped pirhana tanks, or pits full of spikes... so weird!
Panel 3
Oh crap! Now I get it. They should also mention floating naked into your aunt's dinner party.
B.C.
Panel 1
Johnny-come-lately: Noun - 1. somebody who shows up late to a caption contest and hopes he can squeak in there anyway because he hosted his kid's birthday party the day before
Panel 2
2. The unrecorded follow-up to Dexy's Midnight Runners' follow up to the 1982 hit Come On Eileen
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