Everything new is old again

From EW, "There's a sucker born every minute. Like me, for instance. How do you know when you're a sucker? When you find yourself shelling out 90 bucks for three movies that you already own. In about 18 different formats.

I'm speaking, of course, about this week's re-release of the original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. I suppose a little history is in order: Back in 2004, George Lucas put out Episodes 4, 5, and 6 — sorry, I'm not going to geek out with the Roman numerals — on DVD. Fans were delighted and outraged at the same time — delighted because the movies looked beautiful, sounded incredible, and featured some really cool bonus features, and outraged because he insisted on releasing only his tweaked ''Special Edition'' versions. Why not release both the unaltered and the updated ones, fans asked, much in the way Lucas pal Steven Spielberg did with E.T.? But Lucas didn't listen. Of course, now we know why: Because he wanted to wait two years to do that so that everyone who purchased his 2004 boxed set would have to go back and buy the films all over again.

But what Lucas is doing is even more egregious, because you can't just go out and buy the new... uh, old... uh, let's just call them ''original'' versions of the films. You have to rebuy all three Special Edition versions, which now come in two-disc packs along with the untampered ones. That sucks. Look, any true goober (like me) already has the 2004 discs, and now if we want to own the films as we saw them back in the day, we have to buy the 2.0 versions all over again. Very interesting that Lucas would decide to package the movies this way, especially considering that said movies are all about the evils of greed. (Irony, anyone?)

I also love (and when I say ''love'' I actually mean hate) how Lucas is now saying that he's doing it because the fans were so passionate in their desire for the original versions of the films. He's right. They are. And they also were two years ago, when they screamed and shouted for the untampered originals, but he conveniently wasn't listening then. Still, none of this is the worst part. The worst part is that this blatant rip-off will not be the last time I buy movies featuring Ewoks and digitally inserted Gungans. You see, it turns out that these new two-packs will only be available through the end of the year. Why, you ask? Well, word is there is some sort of ultimate boxed set coming out next year that will contain all six previously released films, along with a whole bunch of other extras that Lucas has purposefully held off of other versions. IT SIMPLY NEVER ENDS!!!

''You're either with me or you're against me,'' Anakin says to Obi-Wan in a line that speaks to power, corruption, and the dark side. So far, I've been with Mr. Lucas and all his various home video releases. And I hate myself for it."