Friday, November 16, 2012

Survival Necessities

Both of these titles evoke two feelings: intrigue and unease. It's difficult to listen to stomachs growling for two hours or see people's dehydrated lips and eyeballs, so I prepared accordingly.
I got a "habit" for scarfing down fries & burgers.

I will mock those thirsty losers with my super-green drink!
(2009) **
Five poor suckers get kidnapped by a crazy bearded redhead (who bears a resemblance to one of my college professors) who suffered childhood trauma in a car accident. With a similar agenda as Jigsaw from the Saw movies, the experiment demonstrates to what lengths a person will go to survive.
Hangin' 'round the water cooler has a whole new meaning.
We watch as Grant, Jordan, Anna, Luke, and Alex gradually despise each other and form alliances in order to survive. The redhead scientist gives them enough water for a month, but as the days drag on Hunger exposes a different side of each of the victims, but there is no surprising plot twist. There is unique opportunity to make a good movie about people stuck in a room, but Hunger just doesn't realize it.

(2008) ***
In contrast to Hunger, Thirst has its victims stranded in the seemingly infinite open space of the desert. Bryan and Noelle are a young couple who, according to hard-working Bryan, "married too early" and he is having second thoughts about the marriage. Noelle is a diligent med student who brings her textbooks on vacation. Photographer Tyson and model "Atheria" invite them to a photo shoot in the desert which they promise will take no time at all. Bullshit.

They don't bring enough water because they are stupid city kids and don't know how to plan ahead. Watching Thirst brought back a survival instinct I acquired while spending two weeks in El Salvador: in the smallest, poorest country in Central America we never, ever drank from the tap. Ice cubes became a memory for me until I returned to the States where I now put no less than five cubes in a tall glass of clean California water. Another problem I had with Thirst that reflects a problem I have with most horror-thrillers -- the most educated person in the group is never taken seriously. The other three always do the exact opposite of what Noelle instructs them to do. If she recommends they conserve water, they pour half the bottle over their head while giving her the stink eye. If she tells them to drink water and hydrate, they cap the bottles and look at her like she's got a snot-bubble coming out of her right nostril.

To be honest, I enjoyed Thirst more than Hunger -- overall the characters were more likeable and the circumstances seemed more believable. There is also a crazy, unpredictable twist leading to the ending that only a pre-med student could call. One of the characters in Hunger is also a nurse, and she describes what happens to your system when it goes without food. I found that fascinating, but it couldn't save the movie.


Johnny Sweatpants said...

First of all those pictures are even more hilarious than I remember them being.

"If she recommends they conserve water, they pour half the bottle over their head while giving her the stink eye." That made me so angry! I hate it when characters behave like that in movies. I'm curious about Thirst though. The Ruins book really stressed the horrors of starvation.

Catfreeek said...

I gave a solid meh to both of these films, however your review is hilarious and I give that a big thumbs up!

Landshark said...

Love the pics. California has clearly touched you all in the head.

Octopunk said...

Excellent pics and reviews! I just read the wiki synopsis of Thirst which only made me more resolved not to bother with it. Predicament movies just so aren't my thing! That was a good twist though. And Lacey Chabert is in it! I used to, uh... watch Party of Five.

David Harewood said...

Survival Things Our Great-Grandfathers Built Or Did Around The House

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