Hostel 2, awesome? First review!

From IESB.net, The original “Hostel” blew my ass out the back of the theatre with its engaging story, and extreme brutal horror. I was stoked beyond all belief when I heard the writer/director Eli Roth was making a sequel! I was fortunate enough, last night, to see the first-ever showing of Hostel II with Roth in SF. All I can say is HOLY SHIT… II is even better than the first!!! This movie just f-ing ruled!!!

Much like the first movie, we have the same set-up: American backpackers traveling through Europe are duped into staying at an Eastern European hostel, which is really a front for an organization that will kidnap them and let someone torture and kill them. There are 2 big differences here. For one, we have women now (German, Phillips, Matarazzo) as our victims, and Two- we actually get to follow two of the men who pay to do these acts – from the bidding process, to check-in, all the way to the bloody, bloody end. These two changes really make this movie much more visceral, and ultimately more entertaining!

Roth writes and directs this film with such confidence and skill that, even though many of the story devices and plot points are reused from the first film (the village setting up the victims for the kill), it all feels fresh. The pacing here has also improved! There really is not a single dull moment in the entire film! Also, the script is much more intricate- whereas in the first Hostel things were more linear, and you could pretty much tell who was who and what was going to happen next, Hostel II offers a lot more in the way of twists and surprises. All of this makes for a much better film!

What is really the core of this movie’s success are the killers (Richard Burgi and Roger Bart –Desperate Housewives), rich men who have won the bid to come to Slovakia and torture/kill our heroines. Both actors just nail these men and bring real, layered, identifiable characters to the screen. The connection you have with these 2 men make the last half of the movie so much more horrifying and exciting than even the first “Hostel” because you know both killer and victim- seriously, that “F”s with you!! On top of that, these two don’t necessarily do what you think they would when it comes down to it, making the final showdown a non-stop twist and turn rollercoaster that keeps you on the edge of your seat, if not peeing yourself a little!

This movie just fires on all cylinders! An extremely well-crafted, and well executed thriller! But we all know what most of you are going to see Hostel II for- admit it… it’s not the story, or the acting…

So let’s break down what’s really important here!

T&A: As par for the course, this movie has full frontal nudity within the first 2 minutes! (Ladies, there’s a dude in that scene too!) After that, there is some hooker action (no nudity), and a naked Chick on Chick that is, well… I’ll let you see that one for yourself!

GORE: Uh… HOLY CRAP this movie is gory! I am absolutely STUNNED this movie got away with an “R” rating!! I don’t want to spoil it for you here, but I will say that, although there aren’t as many gory scenes as in the first one, when they do happen, it is AWESOME!!! There is some of the sickest shit ever committed to film and there’s none of that wussy-ass “1 second flash and cut away” BS, oh-no!… They hold the camera on it for a while and let you really take in and enjoy the chunky goodnees!!! (PLEASE NOTE: Ladies- yes, the victims this go-around are women, and some nasty stuff happens to them- don’t get me wrong… but stick around- you’ll get your revenge in the end!)

OVERALL CREEPINESS: Given the whole “follow the killers for half the movie” angle in Hostel II, I have to say it is pretty damn creepy. These are real guys you probably know, they probably do your taxes. You know them but ultimately have no idea what they are capable of… damn creepy! (I think my father-in-law would probably do that shit). Add to that the Creepy Village where everybody is in on the scheme (that has always freaked me out.. it’s why I don’t stay in small towns!), and, of course, our favorite gang of mini-miscreants is back- the bubble gum gang. All that makes this one creepy-icky SOB!

Easily the best horror movie in years! Tops the original and takes it to a whole new terrifying level!!! This movie is a MUST SEE for any self-respecting gore hound!!!

Todd McFarlane update, still annoying

From worstpreviews, Todd McFarlane, the creator of the "Spawn" comic book series, has announced that he will be financing the script development of the long-delayed "Spawn 2.

"The first "Spawn" film came out in 1997 and starred John Leguizamo, Martin Sheen and Michael Jai White as the title character. According to Home Media Magazine, the new film will be called "Spawn" as well and will not have any ties with the original.

"I can make a spooky, suspenseful thriller that will scare the crap out of you," said McFarlane.

At this point, he is writing the script and there is no word on whether this will be a straight to DVD release or a theatrical one.

Expensive

From geekology, The VPI HR-X Turntable by TEAC is a turntable that features a new belt-driven design that comes with a 50-mm thick platter which actually floats on an air suspension system at 45rpm. And I have no idea what that means, but it costs a whopping $19,000. And it's not like this is some super new audio technology, all it does is play records. Old records. Like the kind your grandpa listens to. Anybody with enough money to actually buy this thing might enjoy this game I invented. It's called "Give Me All Your Cash." Basically you give me all your cash, and then I throw a party. It's very fun.

Regal Cinemas is my new hero

From cinemablend, Stop me when this gets to painful. You head out to your local cinema with a nice young lady, intent on catching that new film everyone is talking about. You arrive a few minutes early, in plenty of time to secure both good seats and Bunch A Crunch. Then everything begins souring your once joyous mood. Some douche bag in a straight billed cap starts doing a Borat impression, and you spot some fat people making out in the corner. A six your old with a shit-eating grin on his face starts kicking the back of your date’s chair, and she does not look happy. Naturally, you turn to bitch slap the little shit, but his dad is a cantankerous fellow that looks a lot like King Kong Bundy. What a disaster. Thankfully, one multiplex has come up with a solution.

Regal Cinemas announced yesterday that they are introducing new pager systems allowing moviegoers to rat, narc, and roll over on obsessively annoying patrons. According to Pocket Lint, the miniature beepers, which only only be distributed to members of the Regal Crown Club loyalty program, will include four separate buttons to alert managers of various unseemly issues. You can press buttons one or two for technical and sound errors, while buttons three and four will be reserved for piracy and the dreaded “other disturbance.” This new system will create quite a moral dilemma for film patrons. Is it better to sit idly annoyed at ADHD riddled idiots or turn yourself into a prison snitch and alert the Man? Regal Cinemas has come up with a solution for this conundrum as well. Free popcorn! Brilliant! The average person would squeal on their own mother if savory, butter-filled cholesterol was the reward. So, here’s to you Regal Cinemas. Your genius plan is going to help create a nation of tattletales and may even increase theater parking lot fights. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg would have been so proud.

J-HORROR POWERS UNITE!

From CHUD, When Hideo Nakata followed up Gore Verbinski's superior version of Ringu (The Ring) with the atrocious The Ring 2, I figured his run in Hollywood was over. But mediocre directors don't get run out of this town; they just seek refuge at Fox! Ergo, Nakata will take his slow-building dread act to the Pico lot, where he'll re-team with producer Taka Ichise, who not only shepherded Ringu and Whatever The Fuck They Called Dark Water in Japan (I can't lay this Ugly American shtick on any thicker), but the Ju-on franchise as well. Together, they'll make Inhuman, which will be based on a pitch by Eric Heisserer concerning a real-life Japanese murder case.

If you're wondering how Roy Lee figures into all of this, well, wonder no longer: Lee's Vertigo Entertainment will be producing alongside Ichise and some folks I've never heard of from Ozla Pictures. (I'm still surprised Lee didn't have a piece of the best film to emerge from the J-horror movement, Pulse aka Kairo, but, then again, maybe he knew what he was doing on that one.)

Since the American versions of these J-horror "classics" are basically uninspired retreads of movies that weren't all that great to begin with, it's safe to assume that Nakata and Ichise will have free reign to make Inhuman as ploddingly atmospheric as they like. Though Nakata isn't a bad director, he's no Kiyoshi Kurosawa (who, by the way, hasn't really been Kiyoshi Kurosawa lately). I anticipate his movies with the same enthusiasm I accord the next effort from, say, Scott McGhee and David Siegel (to pull a comparison straight out of my ass): once upon a time, these guys looked like interesting filmmakers; now, we know they're limited. On balance, it's definitely better to have them making movies instead of Adam Shankman and Marc Lawrence, but I'll do my best to avoid their films, too.

PARIS GOES TO JAIL IN 5 DAYS

From WWTDD, Paris Hilton will begin her 23 day prison sentence in just 5 days, yet all outward appearances indicate she's living her life as normal. The Daily Mail says:

...it was business as usual for Paris Hilton who arrived at a studio all frocked up for a photo shoot.Earlier that day she struggled to put on a smile as she left her Hollywood home in a hooded jacket and track pants. Her pals, including Simple Life co-star Nicole Richie, say the star is now feeling very anxious about entering prison.When asked if Hilton was nervous, Richie replied: "Wouldn't you be? Of course she is."

And with good reason. New pictures of the cell that Hilton will share with an inmate have emerged.And that's her cell above there. God that thing is small. I feel bad for her cellmate. I'd rather be locked in a cell with Predator than Paris Hilton.

Trailer: Farrelly Brothers Still Trying

From iwatchstuff, Back in the day, the Farrelly Brothers were the brains behind Kingpin, Dumb and Dumber, and There's Something About Mary (hell, I even liked Outside Providence). But since '99, we've gotten Shallow Hal, Me, Myself & Irene, Osmosis Jones, Stuck on You, and Fever Pitch.

The trailer for their latest, The Heartbreak Kid, with Ben Stiller and Rob Corddry is now online. Another turd would bring them closer to irrelevance, but regardless of what happens, they'll probably be hearing drunk idiots slur quotes from their movies until the day they die.

On another note, anyone else think the blonde chick, Malin Akerman, looks a whole lot like Hannah Hilton? Or possibly a cross between her and Joey Lauren Adams? Look, Malin, if that is your real name, all I'm saying is that you're generic looking.

John Rambo - The Official Synopsis

From dark horizons, Lionsgate Films just provided us with the official synopsis for "John Rambo". Sylvester Stallone writes, directs, produces and stars as John Rambo, filmed on location in and around Chiang Mai, Thailand. Also starring are Julie Benz ("Dexter"), Matthew Marsden ("Resident Evil: Extinction", "Black Hawk Down"), Graham McTavish (HBO's "Rome"), Rey Gallegos ("American Wedding"), Jake La Botz ("Ghost World"), Tim Kang ("Third Watch") and Paul Schulze (HBO’s "The Sopranos").

In Thailand, a group of Christian aid workers recruit John Rambo to guide them up the Salween River to deliver medical supplies to the Karen tribe of neighboring Burma (aka Myanmar). When the missionaries fail to return, Rambo is persuaded to take a group of mercenaries back into the war-torn border region to find them. What follows is a descent into hell on earth.

"John Rambo" is produced by Avi Lerner, Kevin King ("Rocky Balboa") and John Thompson ("King of California"). Executive producers are Andreas Thiesmeyer, Avi Lerner, Josef Lautenschlager and Florian Lechner. Director of Photography is Glen MacPherson ("16 Blocks"). Production Designer is Franco Carbone ("Rocky Balboa") and the Costume Designer is Lizz Wolf.

Lame Marvel character coming to DVD

From moviesonline, Marvels Dr. Strange will be hitting DVD Shelves August 14th. Peel back the layers of reality, and behold a stunning realm hidden beneath. One of magic and wonder. Of sorcery and enchantment. Of ancient spells, secret doors, and remarkable heroes who protect us from evil. Because this is also a world of dark mysticism, malevolent forces, and unspeakable horrors. And within the shadows around us, a supernatural war is waged. But the balance is shifting. Darkness is winning. Yet there is hope….

Join us as Dr. Stephen Strange embarks on a wondrous journey to the heights of a Tibetan mountain, where he seeks healing at the feet of the mysterious Ancient One. But before his wounds can mend, Strange must first let go of his painful past, and awaken a gift granted to very few. The gift of magic. Empowered as the new Sorcerer Supreme, Dr. Strange now tests his limits, rising up against monsters that push at the gates, facing the most terrifying entity humankind has ever known.

Battlestar Galactica to end

From darkhorizons, It's official. Executive producers Ronald D. Moore and David Eick issued a joint statement confirming that "Battlestar Galactica" will end after the upcoming fourth season. The pair reiterate that it was their decision to close the series, and hinted that it was a struggle just to get the renewal for this final season.A two-hour episode will air in November, followed by the 22-episode fourth season to screen starting in January on the Sci-Fi Channel.

Why? What's the significance?

Click here.