Monday, September 22, 2014

Man Visiting Hometown Amazed To Find All His Childhood Insecurities Still There

MANSFIELD, OH—While walking through his old neighborhood, Mansfield, OH, native Peter Grogan, 37, was reportedly surprised Thursday to find that each and every one of his childhood insecurities remains in his hometown. “I was heading down Marion Avenue, where Jeff Bilderman used to pick on me every day, and noticed that my old anxieties, fears, and constant sense of shame are all still here,” Grogan told reporters, marveling that the dozens of uncertainties that plagued him throughout his adolescent and teenage years were still thriving exactly where he left them. “I haven’t been back for long, but it doesn’t seem like my timidity and self-doubt have changed even a bit. And it looks like my feelings of inadequacy are still going strong, judging by the fears of rejection that came flooding back when I walked past my old high school. It’s all exactly the same as it was almost 20 years ago.” Grogan added that the one difference he could identify was that walking through his hometown now fills him with newly established insecurities regarding his financial situation, relationship with his parents, and own impending mortality.

[via the onion]

Woman Has Surgery To Get A Third 'Total Recall' Breast

From geekology, ntertainer Jasmine Tridevil (because apparently tits are devils) allegedly underwent plastic surgery to have a third breast added between her existing breasts, with the hopes of scoring a reality television show and not five extra minutes on stage at Bob's Boobie Bungalow like I expected. Dare to dream, Jasmine. No word where she managed to find a three-tit bikini top.
Tampa resident Tridevil, who recently celebrated her 21st birthday, says her parents have not taken the news of her transformation well.

She said: "My mum ran out of the door. She won't talk to me. She won't let my sister talk to me. My dad... he really isn't happy. He is kind of ashamed of me but he accepted it."

Tridevil says the surgery cost $20,000 and that included a "nipple" implant. She claims to have had an areole tattooed around the nipple after the surgery.

God willing, the extra breast is actually a convincing prosthetic and not real. Besides, what kind of doctor is willing to give a woman a third breast anyways? Not one that should still have a medical license, that's for sure. A nipple implant? WHERE DID THE EXTRA NIPPLE COME FROM? I have so many questions. Namely...Psst, doc -- what do you say, can I get a couple extra penises above and below my existing one? The traveling freakshow said I was too weak to be the new strongman and I'm looking for an in.

Sunday, September 21, 2014

HORRORTHON COUNTDOWN!!! Day Ten! Today's challenge: SOUND OFF!

You heard me!  It's Horroahthoon Toime!  WoooOOOoooOOOooo!  And as usual this time of year, I am PUMPED.  Been reading old reviews and making weeeird lists in my head.

Which brings us to my favorite list, who's on board this year?  Where y'all at?  You're busy, right?  (Me too.)  What challenges are you facing?  (Here's mine:  I'll be at a Lego convention in Seattle for the first five days of October.)

It's funny I'm posting this on a Sunday, since that's usually the time of the least bloggery.  On the other hand I'm posting it really late, when there's actually been a fair amount of chatter today.  Ah well.  We all do what we can.  I'll leave this up for Monday and you people start making some NOISE.

And think about some Countdown stuff to come, things like movie recommendations and maybe something you saw this summer you'd like to practice your praising/bitching skills on.

October is coming...

Daily Spider-Man double shot! Doc Ock makes it interesting right before Horrorthon!

I probably shouldn't admit this, but Ock's stance immediately made me think we're not seeing every body part he's waving around right now.

Oh my god just look at the Classic Supervillain Strut!  Hero chained, banter exchanged, and a big evil device revealed from under a tarp!  Clap.  Clap.  Clap.

Friday, September 19, 2014

File under awesome: 6-Year Old Make-A-Wish Girl Gets To Meet A Unicorn

From geekology, In heartwarming news, 6-year old Addison, who's in remission from leukemia, got to travel to Hawaii and go on a unicorn-meeting adventure as part of a Make-A-Wish project. Addison believes unicorns are real and live in Hawaii, clearly because she knows what's up.

Addison, who is in remission after a two-and-a-half year battle with leukemia, traveled all the way from Georgia to Oahu. There, playwright Alvin Chan joined volunteers from Diamond Head Theatre to write and produce a magical adventure for her. They transformed Waimea Valley into the fairytale town of "Arboretia," and had "Princess Addison" accomplish special tasks in order to release a mythical unicorn and free the town's Queen.

Addison's journey took her through Waimea Valley to find the prettiest flower in the forest and then the prettiest fruit. When it came to searching for the long lost unicorn, played by a horse named Sonny, Addison had to sing a song -- "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."

Eventually, the pink unicorn emerged.

Beautiful. If you got to meet any mythical beast, which would you choose? I think I'd choose a fire-breathing dragon, but only if I got to keep it as my own flying mount. Could you imagine me riding a dragon into battle? "You'd fall off." That bastard would probably drop me in a volcano." Good luck Addison, and keep believing.

Keep going for several more shots of Addison meeting the unicorn, but be sure to check out the official Make A Wish project page for the pictures and story of her whole adventure.

It will be fun to find out...

I wish they would re-do this ad with the same cast.  It would be fun to find out how they turned out.  I bet Karen has a smoker's voice now...

Daily Spider-Man! Nobody puts Spider Sense in the corner!

Ahoy! Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day! ARRrrrr!

V/H/S 3 trailer looks awesome!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Happy Birthday AC

Please join me in wishing AC a super happy birthday!

If I haven't been banned for inactivity...HandsomeStan Senior wrote a book!

Hey gang! I'm appearing out of nowhere with a shameless plug for my dad's new debut novel - Song Of Atlantis. I tagged some of you in my Facebook post about it, but I thought I'd try to re-emerge here with an offer of something cool that I know everybody here will get a kick out of. He's self-publishing through Amazon, and my brother and I have been roped in as his de facto "social media" experts, due to the sole fact that we actually know how to use our Facebook pages.

Global conspiracies, the Pyramids, Atlantis - it's generally awesome nerdy sci-fi stuff that is right up everyone's alley here. I also felt like I deserved a co-writer credit, or at least the epigraph, as I helped him edit and re-work a sizable chunk of the book. Anyway, it's some great stuff, and he poured a ton of time and effort into it. 98 shopping days until Christmas!

I figured I'd capitalize on the few slow weeks everyone has before the titular Horror season begins. I miss all of you terribly, and I'm so sorry to have vanished. At the end of an 80-hour workweek, I then go immediately to work for StanJr all weekend long. Fortunately he's happy and healthy after a tumultuous first year of life:

Love to everybody! THONNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Daily Spider-Man! Actually Spidey, he is expecting exactly one visitor twenty stories up. Did you forget that Doc Ock is aware of your existence?

Monday, September 15, 2014

Box Office

They might be enemies in No Good Deed, but the combined star power of Idris Elba and Taraji P. Henson helped the thriller take control of the box office this weekend. No Good Deed opened in first place with an impressive $24.5 million from 2,175 locations.

Even though mid-week tracking predicted a mid-teens opening for the $13 million pic, this debut wasn’t exactly a surprise for Screen Gems. “We really felt we were going to win. We felt we were in the zone and had a film that people were really going to like,” Rory Bruer, Sony’s president of worldwide distribution, tells EW. “We were always very high on the film and felt that it would really work. When you put all the elements together—great casting with Idris and Taraji, and this very, very suspenseful, taut thriller that Sam Miller delivered—it worked really well.”

Both stars were extremely active in promoting the film via their social media accounts. Sony suggests this helped the film play so well opening weekend. Audiences, who were about 60 percent female and 41 percent under the age of 30, gave the PG-13 rated pic a B+ Cinema Score This indicates that the film was not exactly what they’d expected, which could affect word-of-mouth buzz and future earnings. Still, No Good Deed doesn’t have much more to prove after such a strong debut. “It’s going to be hugely profitable for our company. It was made on a very reasonable budget and we almost doubled that in our first weekend,” says Bruer. “It’s going to be a very successful movie for us.”

Dolphin Tale 2, meanwhile, failed to match the $19.2 million debut of the first film, earning an estimated $16.5 million from 3,656 theaters to take second place. The Warner Bros./Alcon Entertainment family pic cost a reported $36 million to produce and was expected to open in the $20 million range, but all hope is not lost: Audiences, who were 63 percent female and 44 percent under age 25, gave the film an A Cinema Score. It has the potential to hold pretty well in weeks to come. It’s also worth noting that the first film was released in 3-D, while the sequel was not shown in that format.

Holdovers took the remaining spots on the top five, including Disney and Marvel’sGuardians of the Galaxy, which took in $8.04 million domestically and $9.3 million internationally (42 territories), pushing both its domestic and international totals over $300 million for a $612 million global total. It’s the sixth Marvel release to cross the $600 million landmark and the film has yet to open in China.

Here’s the top five:

1. No Good Deed — $24.5 million
2. Dolphin Tale 2 — $16.5 million
3. Guardians of the Galaxy — $8.04 million ($305.9 million domestic total)
4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles — $4.8 million ($181.04 domestic total)
5. Let’s Be Cops — $4.3 million ($72.9 million domestic total)

The Drop, starring Tom Hardy and the late James Gandolfini opened in 809 theaters this weekend and took in an estimated $4.2 million, just missing a spot on the top five. The Dennis Lehane crime thriller will expand to around 1,000 theaters next weekend, though.

In limited release, The Skeleton Twins, starring Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig, took in an estimated $411K from 15 locations and The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Them, starring James McAvoy and Jessica Chastain earned an estimated $77.2K from four locations.

Rumor: Obi-Wan Kenobi Stand-Alone Film In The Works

From slashfilm, As little as we know about Star Wars Episode VII, we know even less about the Star Wars stand-alone films. We know Gareth Edwards and Josh Trank and directing the first two. We’ve heard they may be origin stories and rumors have run rampant of all the various characters that might be featured. Han Solo and Boba Fett are two of the best bets, but Yoda has been mentioned too, possibly a side character in Episode VII and now another name has entered the mix. A new rumor has hit that Lucasfilm is developing an Obi Wan Kenobi stand alone film. Out of all of those rumors, this is the one that makes the most sense.

The Obi Wan Kenobi stand alone film rumor comes from a source at MakingStarWars. Here’s the excerpt:

Obi-Wan Kenobi – I’ve heard from quite a few people now that an Obi-Wan Kenobi movie is in the works. For the spin-off movies they were initially going to stay away from any Jedi or Sith characters. But I’m hearing now that because of the popularity of Obi-Wan (fans recently voting for him on the official website etc) that an art team is now working with a writer on concepts for an Obi-Wan movie.

The official site voting mentioned there is the recent This is Madness Tournament, where Kenobi was voted the top character of all Star Wars characters including Han Solo, Boba Fett, Yoda, even Darth Vader. That’s incredibly surprising when you look at merchandising and stuff, where characters like Vader, Fett and Solo dominate. However, The Clone Wars is incredibly popular with kids and Kenobi is a big star on that. The younger Star Wars generation has certainly embraced Kenobi and lead to his surge in popularity.

As for logistics, Lucasfilm already has a wonderful and popular actor in the role: Ewan McGregor. That takes casting, arguably the biggest hurdle in these stand-alone films, out of the equation entirely. Plus, McGregor himself has said he’d love to return as Kenobi and even offered his own idea of what could happen in a Obi Wan Kenobi stand alone film.

McGregor says the only time period he could get away with would be between Episodes III and IV. That would also allow the film to tie into, or allow references to, the events in Star Wars Rebels. We know that series will tease atEpisode VII and Lucasfilm is all about synergy in the new films. All things considered, an Obi-Wan Kenobi stand-alone movie almost seems like it should be the first one in 2016. They have the star, they have the tight window for a story, they have a popular character and they would get zero blow back from fans who might not want to see Han Solo as a kid or Boba Fett learning to fly.