Saturday, February 28, 2009

What's wrong with this picture?

I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my BIKE is supposed to be in it! Somebody dang stole my bike last weekend. That is the third time that's happened to me in California.

Fortunately, it was a 200 dollar bike from Target because I suspected this might happen, and so I'm far less pissed off than if it had been, say, a 800 dollar bike. That would imply I was only one fourth as pissed, but actually I think it's less than that. Eight months at 200 bucks isn't bad. And really it was over a year, but after 8 months I got my car, and spiders made webs on my bike. Literally. At least one black widow, too. I'm sure that plays into my lack of rage as well.

Of course, it still sucks.

But I'll tell ya what doesn't suck, and what's right with this picture, which is it doesn't have the freaking Freddy Kreuger phone in it. I've been wincing every time that damn thing has popped up all afternoon and evening, and so I was inspired to post about my stolen bike. It's not the tongue, it's that chin. It's so stupid fakey and scary gross at the same time.

I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy!

Friday, February 27, 2009

I t sucks to get old - A Nightmare on Elm Street chick

Finish it Monday Take 2

Well I've been obsessing over the decision, but want to keep my promise so here goes. Every entry was memorable and more than worthy. We have been introduced to characters and images that have burned their way inexorably into my psyche: Bacon Man, introduced amidst the scent of low quality pork burritos, Handsome Stan in full regalia atride a giant spider, "crazy cat lady" man and the human flame-thrower, and who could ever forget the deviant, devious twins Maryann and Shotgun? Lines and scenes from each story ending keep running through my head and making me chuckle, and I think I have a slight crush on Clarence Bottoms (don't tell Mr.AC).

After several scrupulous re-readings of each story ending, however, I have no choice but to hand the award... and the heavy responsibility of next week's labor and decision... to our esteemed Octopunk. His entry satisfied on every level: beautifully written, cameos all 'round, strong visuals, many laughs, blood, gore, and pie fights. Best of all, Octo comprehensively answered the question of what movie topics make nerds happy. Congratulations Octo!

Finish it Monday:the award goes to

Kirk now looks like Scotty

From tmz

'Unrestored' copy of first Superman comic book for sale

CNN) -- After being hidden away for years, a copy of the original "Superman and Friends" comic book will make a comeback -- at a price of about $400,000, a comic expert said Thursday.

Starting Friday, comic book collectors and Superman fans will have the opportunity to bid on a comic classic -- an "unrestored" copy of Action Comics No. 1, said Stephen Fishler, owner of Comic Connect, an online liaison between comic book buyers and sellers. The book's owner is not being identified.

The auction is attracting a lot of interest.

"One bidder wanted to trade his Ferrari for the comic book," as part of an under-the-table deal, Fishler joked. But he said the auction will remain public. "I couldn't see myself trading in my Toyota Prius" -- even for a $375,000 car.

Why is this comic book so unique?

"Of the 100 existing copies, 80 percent have been restored, but people want an untouched copy," Fishler said. The book is listed in "fine" condition, a six on the 10-point rating scale.

"It's the Holy Grail of comic books," Fishler said.

Co-created by Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster, the comic book first appeared on newsstands for 10 cents a copy in June 1938.

Nearly 12 years later, a young boy on the West Coast found himself in a secondhand book store, where he persuaded his dad to loan him 35 cents to buy the comic book.

Until 1966, the owner forgot about the book, which was hidden in his mother's basement. Since then, he's been holding onto it, hoping to see it increase in value, Fishler said. He has not been disappointed.

"There has been a lot of interest shown on the book in the collectibles market," said Fishler, who predicted the comic book will sell for about $400,000. But, he added, no minimum price has been set for the auction, so "whatever it sells for, it sells for.

"I've known Action Comics to sell for around $750,000," comic book sales associate Bill Peterson said. "I don't have any intention on making a bid, but I know people who don't mind dropping several thousand for a classic comic."

The comic book marked the first appearances of Lois Lane, Giovanni "John" Zatara and, of course, Superman. The book is in high demand because "there was no such thing as a superhero before Superman. It spawned everything that came after -- like Batman and Spider-Man," Fishler said.

Even during the current economic downturn, Fishler expects the book to do well.

Those who can afford to bid, he said, "would ordinarily put money into the stock market. But that's a shaky proposition." These days, the comic book may even be a better investment than putting money into a CD or a bond, Fishler speculated.

Because the book was published at the close of the Great Depression, it contains advertisements that may appear quaint and quirky to 21st century readers. For only $1.25, one could buy a blonde wig, a live chameleon, a whoopee cushion, a Bible "the size of a postage stamp" or hypnosis lessons.

"Some books seem to go in and out of fashion," reads the auction blurb at But "Action Comics No. 1 will never be one of those books."

A Look at the JJ Abrams/Brett Ratner Superman Movie That Never Was

From slashfilm, In 2002, JJ Abrams wrote a script which was supposed to be the first film in a trilogy of Superman movies. Aint It Cool once wrote that the script read “like it’ll cost $400 million” and involved sequences featuring “air combat between five superpowered Kryptonians and fighter jets from 24 nations. Kryptonite missiles. Ass-kickin’ on a level we’ve never seen before on film.” A post-Matrix film project where Superman flies through the air fighting a villain using super-powered martial arts.

Over 30 pages of superfights, more action than 20 of Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns. Superman dies but returns from the dead, and the mind-numbingly horrible reveal that Lex Luthor is actually a second son of Krypton, and also has superpowers. A disaster. Brett Ratner was attached to direct, but the project eventually fell into development hell.

Apparently the project got far enough into development that illustrator Phil Saunders was creating concept art for the project for four months. Recently Saunders released a random image from the failed project on his blog, showing Superman facing off against a Kryptonian Battle Pod called a Rouser in Gotham City (yes, Gotham City). Saunders explained that Production Designer Owen Patterson wanted a straight one-point perspective view “so you could compare scale.”

First Look: Rob Zombie's "Halloween" Sequel

From worstpreviews, Rob Zombie's "Halloween" sequel officially started shooting three days ago and Zombie couldn't wait to share some photos with us. Today, he did just that, by unveiling a picture of Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) in an emergency room, probably after her encounter with Michael at the end of the first film.

In addition to the photo, here is what Zombie had to say: "Well, we made it through the first three days. Everything is going great. This film is going to blow away my last trip to Haddonfield. Ultra gritty, ultra intense and very real. Here is a sneak peek of Laurie moments after being wheel in to the ER."

"H2" will pick up at the exact moment the first movie stopped and follow the aftermath of Michael Myers murderous rampage through the eyes of heroine Laurie Strode. It is scheduled to hit theaters on August 28th.

Friday the 13th sequel moves forward

From darkhorizons, New Line and Platinum Dunes are moving ahead with a sequel to the recent remake of "Friday the 13th" according to Risky Biz Blog.

More a follow-up than a direct sequel, Jason Voorhees will be the villain but an all new cast of cannon fodder is expected. The reboot's writers, Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, recently began work on the script.

The last film used elements from the first four films in the original franchise, whereas this won't be doing any such homages to the other four sequels in the original series.

Though Marcus Nispel may return to the director's chair, it's expected someone else will be hired to direct. Platinum Dunes and New Line are presently more fixed on their planned reboot of the "A Nightmare on Elm Street" franchise.

Fox renews 'The Simpsons'

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Fox says it's renewing The Simpsons for another two seasons, which will secure its place as TV's longest-running prime-time series. Now in its 20th season, The Simpsons already had tied record-holder Gunsmoke. The Western drama series aired for two decades on CBS before it ended in 1975.
The Simpsons will pass that mark next season. The two-year, 44-episode pickup announced Thursday by Fox will bring the total number of Simpsons episodes to 493.

The animated comedy about Homer and Marge Simpson, their children and the town of Springfield is not only enduring but much-honored: It's received a Peabody and 24 Emmys among other awards.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

It sucks to get old, especially if you're a nerd

From tmz

Seinfeld poised to create awful show

Jerry Seinfeld is returning to network series television after an 11-year hiatus as creator and executive producer of an NBC reality series.

The comedian and his Columbus 81 Productions are teaming with longtime "Oprah Winfrey Show" executive producer Ellen Rakieten to create "The Marriage Ref," a nonfiction series that will feature opinionated celebrities, comedians and sports stars offering commentary and advice to real-life couples enduring "classic marital disputes."

"This is not a therapy show, it's a comedy show," said Seinfeld. "After nine years of marriage, I have discovered that the comedic potential of this subject is quite rich."

According to NBC Entertainment co-chair Ben Silverman, no premiere date or timeslot has yet been selected for the series.

"Jerry called us up and told us he had an idea," Silverman said. "He flew in to sit down with us, and he and Ellen pitched the show. We were laughing the whole time as they went through the concept. As Jerry noted, some of the greatest comedies in history have been about marriage."

"Picture well-known people weighing in on a couple's relationship issues and deciding who is right and who is wrong right on the spot, like a referee," said Rakieten.

Total Recall to be remade

If only...

From filmstalker, Yes everyone is screaming about the remake of Total Recall, but it doesn't stop us having a voice too, and boy do I have an opinion on this one. Still I suspect it will be similar to everyone else's – what the hell are Hollywood doing? Are they just going to remake absolutely everything they get their hands on?

Total Recall was made in 1990 by Paul Verhoeven and starred Arnold Schwarzenegger alongside Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside and Ronny Cox. Adapted from a Philip K. Dick story. Looks like it's up for another adaptation.

Total Recall was rather successful and although slightly dated in the effects department it still holds its own I'd say. Not so say Hollywood, and a film only ten years old is not beyond the remake machine. Mind you, I've reported a few times on the remake of Death at a Funeral was made only two years ago and is getting a Hollywood remake already. No film is safe.

Of course it might not happen, although Neal H. Moritz and his rather amusingly named production company Original Films are in final negotiations to remake the film – yes The Hollywood Reporter call it “a contemporary version” if you want, it's a remake.

The Philip K. Dick story, and the original film, tell the story of a man who begins to have a recurring dream of going to Mars so he heads off to Rekall Inc. and buys a dream vacation which implants memories of a holiday into his mind while he sits in a chair going nowhere. However the memories seem to break something free in his mind and he believes that he has released hidden memories of a past where he was a secret agent and must head back to Mars in order to complete his mission.

What's Moritz's plan? Well it's simple, he says that the technological advancements and state of the art visual effects will “help” the Total Recall story to be told in a fresh way.

Wrong. Effects will make it look prettier and smoother, but if you're just rewriting the same story and dropping in newer, younger actors then you're not on a guaranteed track to make the film better than it was.

I can see this going a bad route, young twenty-something actors that are the trendy thing with the young audience and plenty of dazzling effects. Oh yes, that's going to make the rich tapestry of a Philip K. Dick novel look wonderful on screen.

Moritz has a fair long track record, and some strong films in there too, Vantage Point is not a remake, I Am Legend (Filmstalker review) is but worked well, but he's leapt on the remake wagon with a few films in production such as Flash Gordon, 21 Jump Street (oh yes) and The Green Hornet. Original Films indeed.

Can anyone defend this decision though?

You know the question, and you have your opinions, but if we don't start voicing them back and showing them in the ticket buying then Hollywood will keep going - supply and demand. If we buy the tickets for a remake, we'll get another remake. Simple.

Must Have!: LEGO Minifig 'Business Cards'

From geekology, So apparently LEGO employees get custom minifigs made to look like them, complete with printed contact info to use as business cards. Well tickle me jealous! LEGO, if you're reading this, I must have some. Go ahead and use my picture from hotornot. Seriously, I'm a solid 6.5. I NEED THESE BUSINESS FIGS! There's just nothing more gratifying than rolling around with a pocketful of minifigs. Or change. Ching ching, ladies -- Mr. Moneybags coming!

Jackson Signs Nine-Picture Deal to Play Nick Fury

From SSH, Samuel L. Jackson has buried the hatchet with Marvel Entertainment, making a deal to play the role of Nick Fury in Iron Man 2, and potentially many other films.

Jackson's deal is a long-term commitment to play Fury, the leader of the espionage unit S.H.I.E.L.D. His deal contains an option to play the character in nine future Marvel superhero films, efforts that are expected to include The First Avenger: Captain America, Thor, The Avengers, toplining a possible S.H.I.E.L.D. movie, and potential sequels.

Jackson introduced Fury in the closing moments of Iron Man, when the character asked Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark to join his group.

Another 'Big Man Japan' Trailer!

From iwatchstuff, A friend of mine saw this recently and said he liked it, though he would have liked it more not having seen clips of the freak battles in the trailer beforehand. But on the other hand, you should really see all the freak battles in this trailer. So it's your call (look at the freaks):

See trailer here

How Do They Advertise 'Wolverine' in France?

iwatchstuff, As if Wolverine has released a new single about maintaining your faith despite adversity. Because even superhuman healing can't always mend your relationship with Him.

Haiku Hump Day Results!

I now know how this "undecided voter" feels

Wow! It’s now time to sift through haiku gold and pick this week’s winner, never an easy task. For the first part of the day I thought my topic bombed and I nervously pleaded with a few of you to write some haikus so I didn’t look like a total tool. But as the day wore on people brought their A-game. My greatest disappointment was that we didn’t get any haikus from DCD or Whirlygirl. Part of why I chose this topic is that I was hoping to see their take on films like Footloose, Fame, and Dirty Dancing.

Where was Dana's Brain?

Where was Whirlygirl?

Good lord, so who won? Here are my favorites,

For reason’s I’ve long forgotten, AC and I have talked about Xanadu for years. I don’t know how the discussion ever began but we’re both obsessed with making fun of this so-bad-it’s-wonderful film. I was particularly tickled by this set,

olivia, cute
as a button, not much of
an actress, can skate.

gene kelly: handsome,
athletic, charming, graceful.
needed cash badly?

the male lead was so
forgettable. could look him
up, but won't bother

ELO theme is
stuck in my head, now yours too:

Handsomestan made me laugh with his Karate Kid haikus, especially because I recently painted my living room while watching all 4 of the films in a row,

Mercy for the weak
A grown man trains teenage thugs
A wuss beats them all

A kick to the face
Totally illegal move
Why did Daniel win?

Most unlikely pair
Ever in the universe
Daniel and Ali

It’s also because of Stan’s Breakin’ haikus that I stayed up way too late last night watching a delightful double feature of Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (this is must see awfulness, Horrorthonners!)

Loved Chris’

Know Trading Places?
Dan A. and Eddie, good pair.
Jamie Lee, great pair.

Nowandzen made me chuckle with this little Karate Kid bit,

Wax on Wax on yes
For Karate Kid sequels
There is no defense

I liked Octopunk’s acknowledgement that Ferris is antisocial yet he still loves him,

I say save Ferris!
Sociopath? I don't care
Shake it up, baby

Landshark hit it on the head when he stated,

C. Thomas Howell?
Everyone else did so well...
Stay gold, Pony Boy.

I liked 50M’s late entries including,

Rourke: quiet, sexy
Dillon: mugging; lunkheaded
Neither was acting

But now it gets tough for me. You see, JSP and I quote Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure on an almost daily basis so I’m obviously biased to go with any of his wonderful haikus about these films including,

Never seen a guy
Picked up by his testicles
But Neil asked for it


Is there something you
Can share with the rest of us
Amazing Larry?

Also, our father is very annoying about action movies and he only enjoys them if the bad guy really gets punished. He’s fond of asking, “Did the bad guy get a pipe in the ass at the end?” which is apparently the kind of justice he needs to see. He loves the early Segal films for this reason and the show 24. He’s incredibly frustrating because he dismisses good stuff when he isn’t satisfied with the bad guy’s death. For example, he didn’t like Dark Knight because the Joker didn’t get a “pipe in the ass” at the end. He stopped watching LOST because Ben never got a “pipe in the ass”, etc. So JSP’s haiku below had me in stitches because of our private joke about our father,

In his perfect world
Bad guys get what they deserve
A pipe up the ass

How JPX envisions Catfreeek's home

At the end of the day I had to go with Catfreek for these 4 haikus. Her reference to Fame perfectly sums up my dislike of musicals,

Must thank the 80's
For Bruce Campbell's chainsaw arm
Bloody fun for all

Singing, dancing dorks
Fame! Want to live forever?
I just wish they'd die

She is a dancer
No silly, she's a welder
Nope, just a stripper

The Fog rolled in town
Sickle bearing ghouls killed all
Adrienne's tits lived

Congrats, Cat!

Excellent work everybody!!! Speaking of work, I should probably do some.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Haiku Hump Day - 80s Movies!

That’s right, 80s movies! When I started thinking about what film images to use in this post to represent 80s cinema, I quickly became overwhelmed. I had forgotten just how many “treasures” came from that decade. Sure we love to make fun of the 80s, and the 80s deserve to be made fun of, but damnit I love 80s cinema, the good, the unspeakably bad, and the horrendous. The 80s was a time when cool franchises were starting to wane (e.g. Bond), cool franchises were created (e.g., A Nightmare on Elm Street), cool films were given increasingly terrible sequels (e.g., A Nightmare on Elm Street), John Hughes created his best stuff, the “action film” was defined, rap movies were popular, Eddie Murphy was funny, soundtracks were replete with new wave music, clothing style was the ugliest, most teen films contained boobs, and Mr. Miyagi taught Danielson valuable life lessons. Believe it or not I edited out a lot as I realized that this post was becoming insanely long. So come on gang, turn up your boombox, and give me some 80s gold! Below are some images to get your creative juices flowing. It's going to be a great day.

80s "cool"

The epitome of testosterone

Breakin' with Ozone and Turbo

This image fills me with murderous rage

"I must break you"

"I'm too old to be Bond!"

Worst movie of all time?

Mad Max movies were cool before this film

The 80s gave us lots of comedy gold?

Awful horror sequels

Pre-insane Tom Cruise

Help me, I'm in a bad musical. Wait, they're all bad!

Illegal dancing

JPX's favorite comedy of all time

JPX's other favorite comedy

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Cats 1 - Catfreeek 0

As most of you know I have a soft heart and adopted Merlin the kitty that was abandoned near our house this past summer. It's been a long hard road of training him not to get into our food, getting along with the other cats and accepting Pandora as the leader of the group but things are pretty harmonious these days.

So, how does this poor abandoned soul show his gratitude? By locking me out of the house.
I went onto the porch ironically, to get another bag of cat food when Merlin decided to climb on the chair and flip the latch locking me out. Luckily Zeke was still home and I was spared the humiliation of climbing through a window but still...

Where was the culprit? Well, as you can see he isn't bothered one iota by his actions.