Friday, October 05, 2012

Live Feed (Unrated)

 (2006) ** (SBIG)

Five American twenty-somethings visit an Asian city and get caught up in some mob related unfortunate mess. While playing around obnoxiously at a karaoke bar they are invited to go to this sex room place. What they realize all too late is that they are the entertainment. A surly mob boss and his bitches watch as the couples have sex and get slaughtered. As they get picked off the kitchen chefs cook and serve bits of the dead to the boss. It’s up to a local karate dude and one of the escaped victims to save what is left of his friends.


Does it sound cheesy? You bet it is! The Americans are such assholes I wanted them to die right from the start. The acting is over the top, the karate fights are lame and directionless, the effects are bad and the blood is a-plenty. I won’t say I loved it but it did keep me chuckling throughout. The mob boss has the dumbest one liners like, “I was gonna ki’ you fass, but now I ki’ you slooooooooooooooooooow bahahaha.” It has some notable deaths, like the girl who had a snake shoved down her throat via plastic tube (aha snake + tube = tubesnake!) then they staple gun her lips shut and cut open her belly to let the snake out. And it’s not every day you get to see a giant guy in a pleather mask rip someone’s head off with a vice. This is what I would call fun gore, it looks fake and you hate the characters, a win/win situation. Pretty good pipe in the ass for the nasty chef and the mob boss as well.

5 comments:

DCD said...

Seriously, Cat. I do NOT know where you come up with these movies!! (Nor do I really want to!)

Octopunk said...

I think "directionless" is an excellent adjective to describe a failed karate fight. Funny review, Cat.

Landshark said...

Great point about horror being fun when you hate the characters.

AC said...

probably too gory for me but i do love a good sbig!

Catfreeek said...

It's not all that gory AC, just a lot of blood.