Happy Halloween everybody! Julie's working late and the boy doesn't have school tomorrow so he's heading to one of those crazy for Halloween neighborhoods and crashing at a friend's. I'm here to serve the small number of trick-or-treaters we get around here. It's just past 7 as I write this and I've seen two groups of two each so far!
I miss doing this; when I discuss movies with people I talk about the Horrorthon experience a lot. I'm certainly down to give it another go, a better go, next year. It's tough to do Horrorthon during an election year, and not coincidentally I know 2016 was the one where I seriously flaked off. We had good energy back then and while it probably won't ever be the same, I'm amped to keep it going one way or another.
There's more in the Salem's Lot franchise history than just these two versions. I've yet to see the 2004 TNT miniseries starring Rob Lowe, and I tried to watch Return to Salem's Lot directed by Larry Cohen, but I dozed off and what I saw didn't inspire me to revisit. But one night a week ago I saw that Max had produced a new version and were also streaming the 1979 original, so I watched them both.
Salem's Lot (1979) ***1/2
It's famous lore in my family that my younger brother Tim (Timmy at the time) made the unwise choice one night to stay up with the big kids and watch the 1979 Salem's Lot, most of which he did completely covered in a blanket with one wide-open eye showing. I can date that night to 1984, which is the first time I saw the movie, which means I was not as brave as my little brother when I was his age and Salem's Lot was first on TV (or probably I just wasn't allowed to). But I knew about it when it came out, and if you were 10-ish in 1979 you can probably remember why if you think about it for a second. Here's a two-part hint:
Tell me that doesn't spook you even a little. You're lying.
It honestly warmed my heart how creepy it still is seeing little Ralphie Glick hovering outside the window. The scratching, the smile. Logically it makes no sense that he's in his pjs, that's not what he was last wearing, and the amount of movie smoke outside the window is pretty silly, but it doesn't matter at all. This is really happening in the story but it's spun with the visual language of a nightmare. Older brother Danny, racked with guilt over losing Ralphie in the woods, wakes from a fitful sleep, wearing a blue version of the same style pjs. The abstract setting out the window, Ralph in his pjs, the hideous unearthly glee on his face -- it's a beautiful combo of the familiar and the just plain wrong. It's good stuff! And it didn't matter how old you were when it came out, because there were only 3 TV channels and you'd wind up seeing the commercial for it any old time.
Embedding video is escaping me at the moment, check it out here.
If you bother watching that it might surprise you how the notion of showing the entire movie in the trailer was already very much a thing by 1979. As a bunch of kids in 5th grade we all saw that ad, and we all talked about the scary floating kid. Yeesh!
Unfortunately, that's a high point that this movie doesn't really ever get back to. And since it was originally a two-part miniseries, you're in for a three-hour tour if you take it on. The journey is uneven.
While I suppose you could look at Salem's Lot as the first in the wave of modern vampire movies, in a way it's pretty much the same story you get from Hammer and Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. Guy comes to village, village is beset by something bad that's getting worse, it's vampires, guy storms the lead vampire's castle to attempt to stake him in the heart. It is Stephen King, of course, who makes all the difference here. He's so good at developing his characters and intertwining their stories he makes the little town come to life, in a way so authentic it can't even be ruined by 70s made-for-TV hamfistery.
There's something comforting and familiar when we watch the drama unfold as Fred Willard arranges a rendezvous with his married secretary at her house, pictured here in the actress's IMDB image which is pulled from that very scene:
Perhaps you remember how Fred Willard's tale ends, with him running outside in the dark in his red boxers only to be waylaid by a strong music cue and a TV freeze frame so dark and out of focus you can barely see the creepy hand coming in from off frame. There's a lot that's watered down for TV. Some of it works, like when two locals pick up the head vampire in his coffin, which is in a huge crate. The truck is really cold and the crate gets closer and closer to the cab as they drive... I thought "So what? It's a crate. That's what happens when you don't lock things down." But it was still pretty creepy.
Some of it doesn't work, because of course it's 70s TV and there's a lot of music getting in your face and telling you how to feel. Salem's Lot spends a lot of capital telling you that you're supposed to be very unnerved by footage of James Mason just... driving around...
As an example of the general tone, here's the introduction to our main villain. It's too dark and for 45 seconds of the minute-long video nothing happens, and then BAM there's the big ol' vampire face. Check it out
here.
I have a soft spot in my heart for this movie, but it's not one of the prime soft spots in my heart. It's in a so-so neighborhood. It's goofy but I can't help liking it.
Salem's Lot (2024) ***1/2
I'm giving this movie the same rating as the the 1979 one but it's for different reasons. A number of the surface elements are better because that's how production values work, but it doesn't have the charm. Look at main baddie Kurt Barlow's head there. It's like the 1979 version, but his jaw opens wider, and, and, uh... his head has more veins! Yeah! That's sort of this movie's whole approach.
They don't do the Ralphie Glick floating through the window scene. Instead his brother goes into the back yard, which is so obscured in movie darkness he can only see one end of the see-saw. A decent setting for some creepy little brother stuff, but suddenly two long not-Ralphie's arms come down from the top of frame, grab Danny by the head, and pull him up out of sight. Huh. It was such a curve ball I pretty much spent every scene bracing for that to happen again.
Redeeming elements include: In this vampiverse all crosses glow when a vampire is near, even ones made just now from tongue depressors and tape. I like anything in movies that would immediately make me believe in religion if I experienced them personally. The climax takes place at the local drive-in theater, which is cool for various reasons. And it's less of a time commitment than the original!
I see by the clock on the corner of my screen that's Halloween is minutes from ending on the east coast, so I'm publishing this now. Love you guys! Horrorthon!
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