Exciting Caption Results!

The caption contest submissions were hilarious this week and I was thrilled to see Handsome Stan and Jordan join the fray. But I must select a winner and time is of the essence so let's get down to biddy.

JUGHEAD JONES



Betty: "Archie, I'm really looking forward to our date tonight!"

Archie: "Hey Jug, if I play my cards right I'll be eating some 'pie' a little later."

JPX hit the ground running with his Archie caption. The perversion goes hand in hand with Archie's suggestive expression.

MARY WORTH



Panel 1

Narration - Meanwhile, back at the Leprosy Diner...

Waitress: "Oh god! I'm sorry! My nose is falling off again!"

Mary - "!"

Panel 2

Mary - "Why do I keep coming here?"

This sums up everything I love about the way Handsome Stan's brain works. Mary Worth has been disappointed in her experience at the Leprosy Diner before and yet she keeps coming back. Why? Is it the food? Is it the close proximity to her house?

FAMILY CIRCUS



Family Circus could have gone in many directions (and it did) but Abduscias nailed it with "Mom! Look look what I found in PJ's ass!" It fits perfectly. Billy is holding the train track as if he just pulled it out and he looks worried while Jeffy is appropriately traumatized.

CAPTAIN EASY



Panel 1

Narration: By the first scene of Act Five, during the once-respectful reminiscences of Yorick, this production had cemented its position as the very worst production of Hamlet this reviewer has ever seen.

Panel 2

Narration (side panel): The buffoon playing Horatio had completely lost the cultural and historical tone meant to be set by his traditional costume. Instead he jumped around screaming about "The Mighty Alligator Ninja" as he shook the hapless creature by the throat.

Narration (white on black panel) (Incidentally, I am convinced the poor beast had been dead since Act Two)

Panel 3

Captain Easy: Alas poor Yorick, I knew him KICK YOUR ASS!!

Panel 4

Narration: Any impact the scene may have had was destroyed by the loud slide-whistle noise marking Yorick's descent

Panel 5

Narration: Oh yes, and they put a speaker inside Yorick's "skull." At this point, why not?

Yorick: DAY! DAYeeeeOOO! Daylight come and me wanna goo hoOOME!

Octopunk put his own personal stamp on Captain Easy, which I'd say was the most difficult of the bunch. The whole thing is hilarious but it was the slide whistle that won my heart. And finally:

MICKEY MOUSE



Mickey was a tie between Octopunk:

Panel 1

Mickey: Hiya Goofy! Watcha got there?

Goofy: Hyuck! It's brain tonic, Mickey!

Panel 2

Goofy: According to the doc, just a spoonful and you get five times as smart! Gawsh!

Panel 3

Mickey: Well you better drink it all, you dumb fuck!

and Abduscias:

Goofy-"Hey Mickey! Here's the juice you need for your problems with Minnie!"

Mickey"Thats great Goofy!"

Goofy-"Hmmm, maybe I can use this on Minnie..."

Mickey-"Wait, what??"

After healthy deliberation I've decided to award this week's victory to.....

Drumroll........

Abduscias!

Happy Victory Over Japan Day, Rhode Islanders!

Yep, it's that time of the year when I wake up and realize that I won't be getting any mail because Rhode Island celebrates this controversial holiday. Thankfully it also means that I will get to hang out with Octo and the gang in CT, where he is currently having his annual family reunion. Thanks, VJ Day!

From Wikipedia, Although September 2 is the designated V-J Day in the entire United States, the event is recognized as an official holiday only in the U.S. state of Rhode Island, where the holiday's official name is "Victory Day",[16] and it is observed on the second Monday of August. There have been several attempts in the 1980s and 1990s to eliminate or rename the holiday on the grounds that it is discriminatory. While those all failed, the state legislature did pass a resolution in 1990 "stating that Victory Day is not a day to express satisfaction in the destruction and death caused by nuclear bombs at Hiroshima and Nagasaki."

Box office report: 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes' dominates with $54 million

From ew [excerpt], Now here’s some monkey business that everyone in Hollywood will take seriously! Rise of the Planet of the Apes conquered the box office with a tremendous $54 million in its debut weekend. The $90 million Fox reboot/prequel exceeded all expectations and churned out the fifth-best August opening of all time. And it did it all without any of that pesky 3D!

Rise of the Planet of the Apes played primarily to an older male crowd. According to exit polling, 56 percent of the audience was male, while 59 percent were over the age of 25. Notably, 20 percent of the audience was at least 50 years old—perhaps fans of the original 1968 film. For the most part, viewers liked what they saw, as they gave Rise a strong “A-” CinemaScore grade. The success of Rise serves all of its stars well. James Franco rebounded from the lackuluster performance of Your Highness, which only grossed $21.6 million earlier this year, and he likely has a new blockbuster franchise to star in while he pursues artsy side projects, Frieda Pinto finally has another hit under her belt after her only other wide release, Slumdog Millionaire, and Andy Serkis proved that motion-capture may be a viable pursuit at the box office.

Full report here

Wanna see Batman fight Bane in the Dark Knight Rises?

The following video might be considered spoiler material for some (so don't click on it if you want to avoid anything associated with this film). There is so much of this video out there that you are going to stumble upon it sooner or later so I decided to put some of it up here.

The Dark Knight Rises has been filming in Pittsburgh for the past few weeks and for some reason everything being filmed is also being filmed by amateurs (how are people getting so close to the action?). I don't mind watching this kind of stuff because I know it will be vastly different once all the fx and music is added. It's kind of a thrill to see how these films are made and what struck me while watching this video was just how quiet this "action" scene is in its purist form.

Lucille Ball would be 100 years old today

Like most people I grew up watching I Love Lucy in endless reruns. My favorite episodes are in season 4 when the gang all leave New York and head to California. Sure the humor is outdated but you've got to respect this show for many reasons including Desi's invention of the 3-camera technique when shooting sitcoms. One of my classmate's was in charge of escorting Lucille Ball around the Harvard campus when Lucy was in her 70s (Lucille was to receive an reward) and my classmate noted that she was totally cool.

From usatoday [excerpt], Fanboys and girls, note: At Ball's insistence, the studio produced the original Star Trek series and landed it on NBC.

JSP Gets His Wish

First Official Photo: Anne Hathaway as Catwoman in ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

UPDATE

'Star Trek' theme park being developed in Jordan

From ew, Set phasers for fun! That’s because Star Trek’s getting the theme park treatment in Aqaba, Jordan. Set to begin construction in March 2012, the Red Sea Astrarium, a $1.5 billion development comprised of four hotels and 17 amusement-park-style attractions, will feature a Star Trek-themed entertainment center, including a “space-flight adventure” simulator ride (a la Disney’s Star Tours) based on the 45-year-old franchise.

Puzzled by Starfleet’s incursion into Jordan? Actually, the current monarch, King Abdullah II is an avid Trek geek and even appeared on a season two episode of Star Trek: Voyager in 1996. He may be royalty, but, without a SAG card, he still wasn’t allowed a speaking part.

The Phantom Menace Named 2nd Worst Summer Blockbuster

From sirstevesguide, Time Magazine has compiled a list of the 20 worst summer blockbusters of all time, and Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace was ranked second on that list, just behind 2009's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

The first of George Lucas' Star Wars prequel trilogy was released in 1999 to stupendous box office sales - the film is 20th in all-time domestic ticket sales (adjusted for inflation), with the original Star Wars trilogy coming in on that list as numbers 2, 12, and 15 respectively; while Episodes II and III come in at 58 and 85 - but less-than-flattering reviews that have only soured since its release. Time's list places blame on many issues in the film rather than all upon Jar Jar Binks' shoulders, but ultimately focuses the film's scorn upon its creator, George Lucas.


Go to TIME for the complete and not very surprising list.

Laurence Fishburne cast as Perry White in 'Man of Steel'

From ew, Lois Lane and Clark Kent just got their boss: Laurence Fishburne will play Daily Planet editor-in-chief Perry White in Man of Steel, EW has learned exclusively. White has traditionally been a hard-charging, old fashioned newspaperman, who relies on his ace reporters, Clark and Lois, to get the big scoop. Jackie Cooper played White in the Christopher Reeve-era Superman films, and Frank Langella took on the role in director Bryan Singer’s Superman Returns in 2006.

The casting resolves the question of what Laurence would be up to following his departure this May from CBS’ long-running CSI after just over two seasons. (Ted Danson will take Fishburne’s place on the show this fall.)

The Superman reboot, produced by Christopher Nolan and directed by Zack Snyder, stars Henry Cavill as Clark (a.k.a. Superman), Amy Adams as Lois, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Kevin Costner as Jonathan Kent, and Diane Lane as Martha Kent. David Goyer (Batman Begins) is penning the script. Man of Steel is due to begin filming this fall, and is slated for release on June 14, 2013. (Reporting by Jeff Jensen)

Bootleg fail

(via slashfilm)