I feel like a damn fool. I should have known, and deep down I probably did. Disney + Horror = Not Horror. Believe me, there's nothing even close to "wicked" to be found here.
The Disney-isms start beating you over the head from the get go. The main characters are two boys who seem to be sprinkled with fairy dust. The theme music sounds way too much like Darth Vader's theme - only Darth Vader's theme if it had its balls cut off. The first 30 minutes are a complete waste of time. They really want to give you a feel of the tight knit town before they feel comfortable moving on to anything even remotely interesting. We meet the barber, the librarian, the mayor, and a one-armed/one-legged man who can still catch a football and ring the bell on one of these stupid strength testers:
Let's see, what else. The two boys are as sweet and annoying as can be. (Sometimes when they were talking to each other, I secretly hoped that a zombie would appear and bang their Disney heads together.) When a safe carnival comes to town, they stumble into danger in the form of a villain named Mr. Dark who tempts you with your greatest desires. He also controls a merry-go-round time machine.
Even Mr. Dark is utterly non-threatening. He's the kind of guy you wouldn't mind getting a hug from.
Make no mistake, Disney is the enemy.
3 comments:
Hooray! I mean too bad for you, Summerisle, but when this came up as a potential choice for the west coast meeting of the Horrorthon council, I balked without having a solid reason.
I tried to watch this many, many years ago and abandoned it. I also tried to read the book with the same result. With such an incomplete perusal, I couldn't really claim "it sucks." But I had this feeling.
I guess the first clue that this movie wasn't going to be scary was the Willy Wonka poster.
Shut up! I didn't see the poster before I rented the movie.
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