Venom

(2005) **1/2

Set in backwater Louisiana where not a single person has a southern accent (thank God) tow truck driver Ray is having the worst day ever. Not only does he lose control of his car plunging it into a river, but his voodoo practitioner passenger’s suitcase, which happens to be full of deadly, computer generated snakes, springs open releasing it’s deadly contents. Yes, Ray is bitten to death. Luckily this is a slasher film and Ray is quickly resurrected once he reaches the morgue, killing the mortician, of course. Ray becomes the Michael Myers of the South, stalking a group of unlikable “teens” we can’t wait to see die. As is always the case in this type of film, one of the teens, Cece, the granddaughter of the voodoo practitioner, quickly figures out why Ray was able to come back from the dead. Apparently those weren’t just any ordinary computer generated snakes that attacked Ray. His voodoo practitioner was into some weird shit. It seems that she was able to drain the souls of people and place them into snakes thus saving the people from damnation (yeah I don’t really get it either). Thank goodness Cece knows how to stop Ray.

This paint-by-numbers slasher flick fails to excite on any level. Yes we get the standard deaths, like tree impaling,

but after seeing these kinds of deaths a zillion times in all the Friday the 13th movies, they do nothing here. Yawn.

Why not watch the trailer?
Venom