Dead and Breakfast

(2004) *1/2

"And sure as the morning sun will rise,
Most guests leave that place traumatized."

(Incredibly annoying gas station attendant, guitar-strumming narrator of Bed and Breakfast)

Six friends on route to a wedding become stranded in Lovelock, TX when their Winnebago craps out on them. With few options the six decide to stay in a creepy bed and breakfast where cell phones don’t work and the owner (David Carradine slumming in a cameo) seems to worship a strange little red box, which later becomes an integral part of the plot as the box is responsible for the gore to follow. As the night wears on one character is murdered (see first picture) and another appears to have a heart attack. After being ordered to remain in town as material witnesses from the local Barney Fife-like sheriff, the gang goes down to the local watering hole where they begin drinking and partying. In an inappropriate sea change in tone, the bar is attacked by a group of zombies and one by one all the townsfolk are turned into killer munching machines. Suddenly Dead and Breakfast becomes a terrible version of From Dusk Till Dawn and the rest of he film involves holding off the zombie onslaught. Oh yeah, and we’re frequently given narration a la There’s Something About Mary (i.e., a dude singing a song as the scenes transition).



Remember that scene in Annie Hall where the ‘comedian’ is doing his act for Woody and Woody has a fake smile frozen on his face feigning interest? That’s Bread and Breakfast for you in a nutshell. It’s that unfunny relative who believes he’s hilarious. The director is most likely one of those guys who has always believed that he was ‘hilarious’ because no one in his life had the balls to tell him to keep his day job. We’re talking extremely low rent humor here. This is the kind of movie where the film is sped up as someone runs away to indicate how frightened he/she is of something. In other scenes people slide on blood for humorous banana-slipping-like results. Humor aside, this film never finds its tone. Is it a horror comedy or just a bad comedy with inappropriate gratuitous scenes of gore? You can have it both ways if done carefully (e.g., Shaun of he Dead), but few ever pull it off. Dead and Breakfast is not funny, is not scary, nor is it worth one second of your time.


Co-star Oz Perkins, son of Anthony, is every bit as creepy as his father.


I hate this guy and he popped up in Return to House on Haunted Hill as well.