JPX's Best Of Horrorthon 2007

Favorite (new film)

Flight of the Living Dead (2007)


I assumed that this would suck. I mean, following the slam-dunk remake of Dawn of the Dead and Romero’s somewhat disappointing Land of the Dead, I wondered if we really needed another zombie movie at this time. The answer turned out to be a resounding, “Hell, yes!” Flight of the Living Dead maximizes its small budget by essentially centering all the action in the confined space of a commercial airplane. Once all hell breaks loose, which happens early in the film, the action never lets up. Highly recommended for all zombie aficionados.

Hidden Gem Award (and unexpectedly good flick)

The Haunting (1963)


Dripping in atmosphere, the house featured in The Haunting could be its own character. With its towering walls, a seemingly endless array of rooms, sharp blacks and whites, and overall stellar cinematography, The Haunting is a real treat and my favorite new discovery. When JSP and I began Horrorthon in 2000 our main purpose, beyond trying to fill the void, was to sift through the garbage of the horror genre in order to discover those rare gems. The Haunting is exemplifies this worthy pursuit and stands as one of the best “haunted house” films I’ve ever seen.

Runner up,

Night Tide (1963)


Most Disturbing

SAW IV (2007)


Come on, how could it not be SAW IV? The opening autopsy alone makes this the one to beat for “most disturbing”. Even this seasoned horror veteran found himself a bit queasy when Jigsaw’s brain was plucked from his skull (after much drilling, of course). Although not the strongest installment, SAW IV more than meets the SAW standard providing plenty of gross thrills, horrible traps, and a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it finale that points out all the “clues” you missed along the way. The SAW films are not for the faint of heart but they deliver what they promise with some terrific, intricate plotting.

Runner up,

Unrest


Unrest contains one of the most disturbing scenes of this year’s Horrorthon. At one point in a woman strips down to her underwear and plunges into a tank of formaldehyde containing gross anatomy class, corpses. Thinking about this a month later still gives me the heebie jeebies.

Scream Queen

Linda Lawson as “Mora” from Night Tide (1963)


While she technically doesn’t scream all that much, Linda Lawson plays the mysterious Mora with just the right balance of a sexy yet possibly delusional siren. You find yourself attracted to her but all your instincts tell you to run like hell away.

Runner up,

Carrie Fleming as Jenifer in the Masters of Horror episode “Jenifer” (2005)


Sure she has the face of a yeti, but she has the body of a porn star, so would you or wouldn’t you? Every male has their own secret answer to this, but they know that the only answer is, “Of course not, baby, she’s hideous”.

Worst

Trog (1970)

Essentially unwatchable and only notable for being Joan Crawford’s final film performance, Trog is a horrible, tedious exercise that only grows worse over its short run time. Not remotely entertaining on any level, avoid at all cost.

"What was I thinking?"

Runner up,

Piranha Piranha! (1972)


This is what I wrote in my original review, ‘Nuff said.

“In Piranha Piranha nothing happens for 75 minutes, then we’re treated to a rape, a stabbing, and very weak fisticuffs. Most of the film is padded with Peruvian music sunk to images of poor people, native animals, and a tour of a diamond market. It’s a freakin’ travelogue. Awful awful movie.”

So Bad It’s Good Award

Ring of Terror (1962)


Although this story could be told in 10 minutes, the journey to the ultra-lame climax is what makes Ring of Terror an enjoyable mess. I love old movies that portray “hip” “teens” in school doing the American Graffiti thing. Ring of Terror is best appreciated as an early 60s (cinematic) snapshot of college and dating life. The boys are all preppie and the girls wear poodle skirts. This is an innocent time that would be shattered forever a year later. The dialogue is of the “Gee whiz” variety and fraternity pranks add up to nothing more than ringing someone’s doorbell and asking for a penny. Silly, fun stuff.

Goriest

Flight of the Living Dead (2007)


Once the carnage of Flight of the Living Dead kicks in, it’s a non-stop bloodbath until its bleak finale.

Most Memorable Death

SAW IV (2007)


In this flashback we see Jigsaw’s very first trap. All this poor fella has to do is push his face through a mask of razors in order to push the lever in front of him, which would free him from his shackles. Gruesome stuff.

Runner up,

Suspiria (1977)


Thrashing in a room full of razor wire makes for a bad day (original photo link severed).

Best Looking Monster

Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Feud (2007)


Wow, when I reviewed my movie list from Horrorthon 2007 I realized that I didn’t really watch any “monster” movies this year so Pumpkinhead wins by default. Next year I will focus more on the “monsters”.

Scariest

Reincarnation (2005)


Although J-Horror is long in the tooth at this point, I still jump when I watch these things.