Octopunk's Best of Horrorthon 2007

1. Favorite: The Hitcher. I've seen this before, but it really impressed me this time. Slick and deadly.

2. Hidden gem award: The Golem. I figured this for a certain amount of quality, but I was unprepared for how often my jaw dropped at the visuals. Runners up would include Carnosaur for being smart when nobody asked it to, and In the Mouth of Madness, which was better than I thought John Carpenter had in him at the time.

3. Most Disturbing: Pulse (Kairo). The Japanese one, not the awful remake. Those plaintive cries for help so bleached of passion they can be called neither "plaintive" nor "cries." Creepy as hell. Personally, I'm glad Hostel II didn't get me as bad as I'd feared.

4. Scream Queen: Raquel Merono as Barbara in Dagon. I know I built a whole subfestival around Kari Wuhrer, but after experiencing it the attraction had kind of run its course. Famke Janssen was a consideration, too, but Raquel is just so damn sexy in that movie.

Scream King (stud): Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness. I said I'd pick one in that It's time for Best Ofs! post that you all ignored, and I am a man of my word. Today.

5. Worst: Beyond the Wall of Sleep. Saw some bad movies this year, but none as detestable as this. This was the cinematic equivalent of watching monkeys crap in their hand and throw it at you. Actually, I'd rather dodge monkey dung for 84 minutes than watch this again.

6. So Bad It's Good Award: Dragon Wars. Much like its Korean fellow The Host, this had seriously disconnected storytelling going on, but unlike The Host, it was chock full of monster action. Runners up include Mantis in Lace and Zombie Lake, both catching one's attention with lots of naked.

7. Goriest: Hostel Part II: It's usually the zombie flicks that up the gore count, but the only one I watched was Zombie Lake and that didn't rate. Hostel II had the nasty fate of Heather Matarazzo and further badness with power tools. Yucky.

8. Most memorable death: Ray Milland in Frogs. After an hour and a half of watching frogs being on things, they make their move, bursting in on the room in which Ray Milland sits helpless in his wheelchair. The movie cuts between the frogs being on things in the room and back to Ray's face and back and forth and back and forth until Ray keels over from a heart attack. He literally dies because frogs are there.

9. Best-looking monster: Baraki the evil Imoogi from Dragon Wars. Yes, it was a silly movie, but that big honkin' cobra was damn cool to watch. Runners up include the too-sparsely viewed tadpole monster from The Host, the dragons in Reign of Fire and good old Godzilla, blotting out the sky with classic destructive wrath.

10. Scariest: The Japanese Pulse again. It really works on the sometimes-meaningless, sometimes-disturbing dread of trying to find someone and getting their voicemail. What if that kept on happening every time with every person? What if that's what death is like? Brrr.

Okay, folks! It's never too late to do your Best Ofs but if you get 'em in this weekend then they won't be surrounded by the more general off-season news. I'd love to see what you have to say.