Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Report: Shame Of Walking Out Without Buying Anything Drives 90% Of Purchases At Small Businesses

ATHENS, GA—Citing it as one of the leading factors influencing consumer behavior across the country, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Georgia found that nine of every 10 purchases from small businesses are driven by a customer’s shame at exiting the store without buying anything. “According to our research, 90 percent of all transactions at independently owned shops throughout the nation—be they bakeries, used bookstores, or one of those places that just sells unusual gifts and knickknacks—are motivated solely by intense pangs of guilt experienced after making eye contact with the owner and realizing you’ll have to walk past her at the register before you leave,” said the report’s lead author Emily Mosse, who confirmed that such purchases are typically initiated after the customer notices how every shelf is fully stocked and then realizes that he or she is the only other person in the establishment. “We found that most individuals who walked into a family-owned store with no intention of buying anything were quick to feel an incredible sense of sadness and pity upon seeing the clerk’s smiling face or the handwritten price tags on nearly every item, prompting the majority of them to pick out a minimally priced item such as a candle or at least a tin of mints at the cash register solely to mitigate their remorse.” Mosse added that nearly all individuals documented in the report admitted to then experiencing feelings of annoyance at having wasted money on some bullshit thing they could have gotten at a far better price anywhere else.

[Via theonion]


JPX said...

There is a business in my town that is only a bit larger than a good-sized shed. In the 10 years I have lived in my neighborhood I have seen this place change hands numerous times.

In April it became a store that apparently sells random crap like chocolate, greeting cards, etc. I have never once seen a customer go into this store. I would love to go in for a peak but I never will because of exactly what this article talks about.

I always see the owner of said store sitting outside in a folding chair. I can't bring myself to go into this store because I know that I will be greeted with a hopeful, "Hello!" and I know she will follow me into the store and will hover around me waiting for me to purchase some crappy craft item.

Whenever I see the store closed I fantasize leaving a note saying something like, "I'm sorry you weren't open, I really needed a thousand dollars worth of greeting cards..."

Johnny Sweatpants said...

I bought a pitcher shaped like a pretzel from an antique store for this very reason.

DCD said...

I love both of these comments.

Octopunk said...

Here I am days later realizing this story is a joke. And dammit, I was looking for a pretzel pitcher yesterday!

JPX said...

He really does have a pretzel pitcher! Even though the story is a joke, I completely agree with it!